If you like comedy movies packed with great life lessons, don’t miss out on these The Benchwarmers quotes that we’ve collected!
The Benchwarmers is a movie that tells the story of three friends who formed a three-person baseball team with the help of a baseball-loving millionaire. As children, they were humiliated on the baseball field. Now, they want to take on the meanest bullies in the Little League.
This trio came to the rescue after seeing some kids bullying their friend’s son. You’d think they teach the kid to retaliate, but instead, they compete in a baseball game and teach them a lesson!
Have you been picked on as a child, too? Read this list of quotes to get a glimpse of how they were able to become the hero every bullied kid wished they had!
Check out the complete list below.
And don’t miss out these Trading Places quotes and Three Amigos quotes.
Best The Benchwarmers Quotes
1. Richie Goodman: “He just did that steroid-free!”
Clark Reedy: “What’s steroids?”
Richie Goodman: “Something that makes your ‘pee-pee’ smaller.”
Clark Reedy: “Oh—there must be steroids in macaroni!”
2. Gus Matthews: “Clark, could you not pick your nose in front of me?”
Clark Reedy: “I’m not picking; I’m scratching.”
Gus Matthews: “Scratching what? Your brain?”
Clark Reedy: “Yeah, ’cause it’s huge.”
3. Richie Goodman: “Clark. You kissed a girl before I did?”
Clark Reedy: “This is way better than macaroni.”
4. Gus Matthews: “Clark! Try to hit the ball in the strike zone.”
Clark Reedy: “Well, where’s the strike zone?”
Umpire: “Strike two!”
Gus Matthews: “Right there.”
5. Richie Goodman: “What do you think of my future wife?”
Old Man: “I smell cinnamon rolls!”
Richie Goodman: “Oh, I smell cinnamon rolls too.”
The Benchwarmers Quotes to Complete Your Day
6. Kyle: “Time to meet your makers!”
Clark Reedy: “Makers of what? Poop?”
7. Gus Matthews: “Man. I haven’t even been on a baseball field in over 10 years.”
Clark Reedy: “I’ve never been on a baseball field; if I did, the kids in my neighborhood would spit loogies on my forehead.”
Gus Matthews: “That’s horrible. Baseball’s America’s pastime—that’s like saying you’ve never had apple pie. You’ve never had apple pie?”
Clark Reedy: “My mom said it would give me diarrhea.”
Gus Matthews: “That’s ridiculous, Clark. You have to try it at least once.”
Clark Reedy: “Diarrhea?”
Gus Matthews: “No. Baseball.”
8. Kyle: “I’m gonna call the cops!”
Clark Reedy: “We are cops! We’re navy seals!”
Kyle: “Navy seals aren’t cops!“
Troy: “Aren’t you our paperboy?“
Clark Reedy: “I’m undercover.”
9. Gus Matthews: “I think this is a sign that you should get a car.”
Clark Reedy: “My mom said I should hold off on getting my license for another year. You know, just to make sure my reflexes are fully developed.”
10. “Hold on, I got a text from my mom—no way, we’re having macaroni tonight that means garlic bread! Yes!” – Clark Reedy
The Benchwarmers Quotes That Are Unforgettable
11. “My wife is the only one who gets to twist these man titties.” – Gus Matthews
12. “For years, I thought the sun was a monster. But I am here to tell you that it’s not a monster! It’s not a monster!” – Howie Goodman
13. “Is ‘badass’ one or two words?” – Clark Reedy
14. “Oh! I love beef stew!” – Clark Reedy
15. Gus Matthews: “Move over, honey, I gotta take a leak.”
Liz Matthews: “Oh my God. You’re not kidding.”
16. Richie Goodman: “Clark, we don’t play baseball.”
Clark Reedy: “I told Gus that we would be there, and if we don’t show up, that makes me a liar—and that’s not what I’m about—not now, not ever.”
Richie Goodman: “Okay, okay, Daytime Emmy.”
Hilarious The Benchwarmers Quotes to Amuse You
17. Marcus Ellwood: “Do you still think I look like Yoda?”
Gus Matthews: “No.”
Marcus Ellwood: “But Yoda’s my favorite! You’re a bad, bad man!”
18. Mel Carmichael: “Richie, do you have any kids?”
Richie Goodman: “Never had a date.”
Mel Carmichael: “Clark?”
Clark Reedy: “Never spoke to a girl.”
Mel Carmichael: “Gu—Gus?”
Gus Matthews: “Ugh, My wife and I are kinda working on it.”
19. Brad: “You guys think you’re athletes now?”
Richie Goodman: “Haha, that’s funny I didn’t know ath-e-letes had three syllables—that’s ama-za-zaing.”
20. Kid Catcher: “One out! Gonna be two outs!”
Richie Goodman: “Yeah, I bet you’re a really good catcher—of donuts in your mouth.”
Kid Catcher: “I caught it. You’re out.”
Richie Goodman: “But I ticked it! It hit the bat!”
Kid Catcher: “You’re still out.”
Richie Goodman: “You’re still fat!”
21. Brad: “Hey, what the—Clark? Richie? I hardly recognized you clowns without the underwear on your heads.”
Richie Goodman: “Brad. Wow, you have really not slimmed down.”
More The Benchwarmers Quotes for Movie Buffs
22. Wayne: “Is that beer?”
Carlos: “No, it’s Gatorade homie. Get out of my way.”
23. “Listen, we have a game tomorrow, and there’s only one field to practice on; so, beat it.” – Troy
24. Howie Goodman: “I used to think the sun was evil, but now I know it’s not.”
Wayne: “How’s the moon treating you.”
Howie Goodman: “Not a fan.”
25. Howie Goodman: “Carlos?”
Carlos: “Who say my name?”
Howie Goodman: “I brought you a present from the benchwarmers. You’re really good at baseball.”
Carlos: “Thank you, Albino. Now get lost!”
What Is Your Stand on Bullying?
The Benchwarmers is undeniably a very funny movie. It may have gotten a lot of criticism because of all the adolescent jokes and profanities, but the message of the movie itself is wonderful.
Knowing what it’s like to be bullied, Gus, Richie, and Clark strike back after seeing a friend’s son being picked on by some neighborhood kids. What they failed to do as children, they did as adults. They stood up against bullies by forming a baseball team and competing with them.
We don’t promote taking revenge, but standing up for oneself is necessary. More than that, standing up for others who are too scared to do it for themselves is just as important.
At one point in our lives, we all might have experienced being pushed around by mean kids or colleagues. But, we hope that this list of quotes was able to inspire you to be fearless and not let other people put you down because of their hurtful words. You are so much more than that!