35 The Golden Girls Quotes That Are Just Drenched in Comedy

Travel back in time and get a glimpse of the strong bond that this unique group of friends has through this collection of The Golden Girls quotes.

The moment you pass the threshold of 65, you’re considered to be in your golden years. While most people view this as a negative thing because of aging, this period of our lives can still be exciting, fun, and full of wonder.

The Golden Girls is a prime example of this statement. Our four favorite women, Sophia, Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche, never let the zest for life get sucked out of them as the years passed.

They serve as an inspiration to many girls to continue living life even after their so-called prime days have gone. After all, you are entitled to life’s joys and wonders as long as you are breathing.

Read on to witness the beauty of their one-of-a-kind friendship and relatable lessons. We have the best The Golden Girls quotes listed below.

And make sure to check out these Betty White quotes.

Best The Golden Girls Quotes

1. “People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.” – Sophia Petrillo

2. “Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” – Blanche Devereaux

3. “It is not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” – Dorothy Zbornak

4. “Well, nobody ever believes me when I’m telling the truth. I guess it’s the curse of every devastatingly beautiful woman.” – Blanche Devereaux

5. “Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless.” – Sophia Petrillo

6. “We’re not embarrassed, we’re not uncomfortable, we are not humiliated. We’re gonna walk outta here today with our heads held high, secure in the knowledge that what we have done is morally and socially responsible. Isn’t that right, girls?” – Blanche Devereaux

Inspirational The Golden Girls Quotes to Empower You

7. “You know my motto. Today could be the last day of your life.” – Sophia Petrillo

8. “After 80, every year without a headstone is a milestone.” – Sophia Petrillo

9. “I’ve been having a good time, and there wasn’t even a man in the room.” – Blanche Devereaux

10. “My mother used to say, ‘The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.’” – Rose Nylund

11. “No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: you’re old, you sag; get over it.” – Sophia Petrillo

12. “They were all buying T-shirts, you know, the ones that say, ‘Today is the first day of the end of your life.’” – Dorothy Zbornak

The Golden Girls Quotes About Friendship

13. “Let me tell you, girls, the three most important things I learned about life: number one, hold fast to your friends; number two, there’s no such thing as security; and number three, don’t go see Ishtar. Woof.” – Sophia Petrillo

14. “I still can’t say I understand what you’re doing, but I do intend to try to respect your decision to do it. I want you to be happy.” – Blanche Devereaux

15. “Look, you didn’t ask me for my opinion, but I’m old, so I’m giving it anyway.” – Sophia Petrillo

The Golden Girls Sayings That You Won’t Get Enough Of

16. “Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I’d run around naked.” – Sophia Petrillo

17. “It’s like we say in St. Olaf—Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund’s Day without the headless boy.” – Rose Nylund

18. “Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains.” – Dorothy Zbornak

19. “There is a fine line between having a good time and being a wanton sl*t. I know. My toe has been on that line.” – Blanche Devereaux

20. “You know what they say: you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast, or he’ll die.” – Rose Nylund

Hilarious The Golden Girls Quotes for Some Entertaining Words

21. “She’s really a very sweet woman. She just doesn’t like to show it.” – Dorothy Zbornak

22. Dorothy Zbornak: “I have a date.”

Blanche Devereaux: “With a man?”

Dorothy Zbornak: “No, Blanche. With a Venus Fly Trap.”

23. “It’s like life is a giant weenie roast, and I’m the biggest weenie.” – Rose Nylund

24. Dorothy Zbornak: “Oh, c’mon, Blanche. Age is just a state of mind.”

Blanche Devereaux: “Tell that to my thighs.”

25. Rose Nylund: “Tell me, is it possible to love two men at the same time?”

Blanche Devereaux: “Set the scene. Have we been drinking?”

26. Blanche Devereaux: “I treat my body like a temple.”

Sophia Petrillo: “Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.”

27. Dorothy Zbornak: “You know what your trouble is?”

Blanche Devereaux: “Of course not.”

28. Rose Nylund: “Can I ask a dumb question?”

Dorothy Zbornak: “Better than anyone I know.”

29. “I thought I was gonna die. I swear I have never felt such agony. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes, and I thought, ‘What a shame if I die now, I’m too young—and I’m wearing the wrong underwear.’” – Blanche Devereaux

30. “When a 22-year-old girl marries a man who’s 80, chances are, she is not after his body.” – Dorothy Zbornak

31. Sophia Petrillo: “All you ever do is talk about your sexual problems! Well, what about my sexual problem?”

Dorothy Zbornak: “Ma, what is your sexual problem?”

Sophia Petrillo: “I’m not getting any!”

Short The Golden Girls Quotes for Instagram

32. “Excuse me, Rose, have I given any indication at all that I care?” – Sophia Petrillo

33. “Why don’t I just wear a sign, ‘Too ugly to live?’” – Dorothy Zbornak

34. “Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad, and still look so good?” – Blanche Devereaux

35. “I hate to admit it, but he melts my Häagen-Dazs.” – Rose Nylund

Who’s Your Favorite Out of the Four Golden Girls?

Usually, we have lots of movies and series that talk about one’s coming of age. So, it’s refreshing to have a sitcom like The Golden Girls, which zooms in on women’s journey when they’ve already reached their golden years.

The Golden Girls is also celebrated because of its bouts of comedy embedded in each scene of the show. Our favorite characters have lots of meaningful things to say about life, love and relationship, and even friendship, but they do so in a funny way, making everything more relatable for viewers.

The sitcom teaches us that we’re never too old to have fun. We’re constantly bombarded by others’ opinions on what’s appropriate to wear, say, and do, but The Golden Girls is proof that we don’t have to listen to anyone but ourselves.

Wear what makes you feel confident and say what you have to say. Never let your fire die and get extinguished because of others’ unsolicited opinions.

Remember, age is just a number; it’s a state of mind that can either hinder or push you to move forward. So, if you’re faced with choosing whether to go for it or not because of your age, remember the lessons you’ve learned from The Golden Girls and just do it!

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Karen Danao

Hi, I’m Karen, a content curator and writer for Quote Ambition; I’m also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, I’m someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics I love writing about! However, my true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.

With the many places I’ve been to, I found that love, inspiration, and happiness are some things that bring people together. No matter how different we are on the outside, I’m a true believer that our emotions don’t lie; if you dig deep into our psyche, we’re all the same inside.

This belief was further amplified when I joined Quote Ambition. Through the quotes I’ve read, collected, organized, and written about, I found that humans are resilient, creative, and compassionate.

We take from each others’ hearts and courage, and it’s through our individual experiences that we learn how to rise above our challenges and pain. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere!

You can find me on MuckRack and LinkedIn.