These top 25 Joe Dirt quotes will teach you lessons on perseverance while making you laugh out loud!
Joe Dirt tells the story of a so-called white trash loser named Joe who is searching for his family. However, no matter how sincere he was in his journey, he kept on meeting one obstacle after another.
Most would have already given up at the beginning. But, despite all of his misfortune, Joe does a great job of showing kindness to every person he meets; he’s persistent and determined, too. So, even with all the mishaps, Joe was still blessed to find the real meaning of family and love.
Joe kept going, leading him to a family made up of his close friends. These people will be able to stand by him through the ups and downs and share laughs with him daily. He might not have ended up with his blood relatives, but sometimes, true friends are enough to keep you strong and happy.
Indeed, Joe will make us laugh with his jokes. However, behind the funny scenes is wisdom that will change our perspective. Check out the collection below if you want to fill your day with positive quotes that’ll keep you moving forward!
And make sure to read these My Cousin Vinny quotes and Nacho Libre quotes.
Best Joe Dirt Quotes
1. “Life is too short to waste doing nothing. Make every day count, because we all don’t know when we will leave this world. Cherish every moment you have with loved ones and never regret anything in life, because everything happens for a reason. Look at every day and smile that God has kept you alive, ‘cause there’s nothing sweeter than life.” – Joe Dirt
2. “But you gotta keep going. I won’t quit. That’s not an option. You gotta keep on keeping on. Life’s a garden, dig it, and make it work for you. You never give up, man. That’s my philosophy. You hear that?” – Joe Dirt
3. “People like that security guard—they don’t really mean what they say. They just got their own issues and whatnot. All I gotta do is keep being a good person. No matter what, good things’ll come my way. Everything will happen for me, as long as I never have ‘no’ in my heart. Right on. Things are gonna happen for me! I’m Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt
4. “You can’t have ‘no’ in your heart. ‘No’ is not an option, brother.” – Joe Dirt
5. “Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes back?” – Joe Dirt
6. “You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it into the microphone? I got a backup mike right here. Check, one, two, testing, testing. Yup, they both workin’, and guess what? They don’t like no feedback, what’s up?” – Joe Dirt
7. “And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown.” – Joe Dirt
8. “Here on Earth, we call this place a ‘Town.’ A ‘town’ is a place where everyone hates you.” – Joe Dirt
9. Joe Dirt: “Yeah, man, that little boy, that’s me. My parents were—this was my home. I thought this was it this time.”
Old Cajun Man: “Nah, home is where you make it.”
Joe Dirt: “You like to see homos naked?”
Old Cajun Man: “Home is where you make it.”
Joe Dirt: “You like to see homos naked, that’s cool man, whatever.”
Old Cajun Man: “No, no, no, no. Home is where you make it. Home, where you make it.”
Joe Dirt: “Oh.”
Old Cajun Man: “Everybody knows that. G*dd*mn, boy.”
Joe Dirt: “Guy likes to see homos naked; that doesn’t help me.”
10. Joe Dirt: “So you’re gonna tell me that you don’t have no black cats, roman candles, or screaming mimis?”
Kickin’ Wing: “No.”
Joe Dirt: “Oh come on, man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?”
Kickin’ Wing: “No, I don’t.”
Joe Dirt: “You’re gonna stand there, owning fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hüsker düs, hüsker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick or one single whistling kitty chaser?”
Kickin’ Wing: “No, because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.”
Joe Dirt: “Well that might be your problem. It’s not what you like, it’s the consumer.”
Joe Dirt Quotes That’ll Leave an Impact on Every Reader
11. Robby: “Did I get you, Dirt?”
Joe Dirt: “Nah, I’m cool.”
Robby: “No you’re not.”
12. “I got the poo on me!” – Joe Dirt
13. “Things get the darkest before dawn.” – Joe Dirt
14. Joe Dirt: “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
Jill: “Sure would. Do you want to go back to my place?”
Joe Dirt: “Sure do.”
15. Joe Dirt: “Hey man, you done with that apple core?”
Bondi: “I’m done with that fart. You want that?”
Joe Dirt: “Maybe if it came out of Charlene Tilton’s *ss I’d take a bite.”
Bondi: “Yeah, you probably like JR, you queer. I saw your bumper sticker, ‘Cowboy’s butts drive me nuts.’”
Joe Dirt: “Is that right? You think that’s queer? Is this queer? They’re large and in charge and looking for chickies.”
Bondi: “You wanna back that up?”
Joe Dirt: “You wanna fight? Why don’t you stick your head up my butt and fight for air.”
Bondi: “That’s it. You and me, let’s go.”
Joe Dirt: “You know I’d love to beat your *ss all up and down this place, but I gotta go back to work.”
Oil Rig Boss: “Joe Dirt, you’re fired. Here’s your week’s pay.”
Joe Dirt: “Dang.”
16. Joe Dirt: “Can I push him off of me?”
Miss Clipper: “He’ll stop humping as soon as he’s done.”
17. “My name is Joe Dirt, I added an ‘E’ to the end ‘cause it sounds cool.” – Joe Dirt
18. “You want me to put my ear to the ground and listen for hoof beats, check for footprints, look for broken twigs? This is the modern era. That stuff doesn’t work anymore.” – Kickin’ Wing
19. Joe Dirt: “There are three rules when dealin’ with a deadly alligator. And yes, they are deadly, don’t kid yourself. Rule number one, I’m number one. You hear that, I like the kid around. Rule two, the croc’s number two. Now before I begin—.”
Kid at Gator Farm: “Hey, what’s rule three?”
Joe Dirt: “What’s that? Kid, give me a break now.”
Kid at Gator Farm: “So you don’t know rule three?”
Joe Dirt: “Yeah, you want a match? My face and your *ss! How about that friend, huh? I mean, your *ss and my face, what’s up? Here we go; I’m a bit of a crocophile, so don’t try this at home. This here’s Rocky, and he ain’t no puppy. Now, let’s see if Rocky’s got some cavities. This m*f* knows not to mess with Sir Joseph Dirt. Oh, when bad pets go bad, dang. It’s like the cartoons, I’m seeing all ‘tweet, tweet.’”
Charlene: “Joe, what can I do for you? You’re not making any sense.”
Joe Dirt: “Not making? Not making?”
Joe’s Little Sister: “That’s why Dad named you Joe Dirt instead of Nunamaker.”
Joe Dirt: “Nunamaker! Nunamaker! That’s what my sister said on the way to the Grand Canyon! My last name’s Dirt, her last name’s Nunamaker! That’s my parent’s last name.”
20. “Hey! You’re talking to my guy all wrong. It’s the wrong tone. Do it again, I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.” – Clem
Joe Dirt Quotes for a Glimpse Into the Movie’s Plot
21. “I’m not messin’ around! I hit it, and it goes bang. Alright? Now while I’m up here waiting you show me them boobies!” – Joe Dirt
22. “Well, I was born without the top of my skull, and I guess a little bit of my brains was showin’ and it was grossin’ everybody out, so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up, and then the bones grew together, and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don’t mean to get all scientific with you.” – Joe Dirt
23. “Look at him, fellas! You cryin’ boy? You cryin’ boy? Maybe go back down to Mcdonalds, get you some hamburgers and some french cries!” – Robby
24. Joe Dirt: “Why did you do that to me? I was only eight years old, I was just a little kid. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be a kid and have nobody around to talk to? No one that cares if you’re alive or dead? Every day you just think you’re worthless and there’s a void in your life?”
Mrs. Nunamaker: “Oh come on, honey.”
Mr. Nunamaker: “Lighten up, buddy.”
Mrs. Nunamaker: “Lose that frown. When you’re down, stare at a clown.”
Mr. Nunamaker: “That’s right, boy.”
Mrs. Nunamaker: “Hey, sit down! Sit down! You’re blocking the cameras! The cameras can’t see!”
Mr. Nunamaker: “Move over a bit!”
Joe Dirt: “I don’t care about that! And I don’t care about this!”
Mr. Nunamaker: “Hey! What the hell are you doing?”
Joe Dirt: “And I don’t want to see you for another 25 years!”
Reporter: “Joe, wait!”
Mrs. Nunamaker: “My god! Oh, my clowns! Look at my clowns! I wish he never found us! Look what he did to my children! Oh, no! Hey! Hey, TV people! Hey, TV people!”
Mr. Nunamaker: “Hey, you’re grounded! Where are you all going? Hey, come on! You don’t have to follow him just because he’s going.”
25. “Right on. You’re Joe Meteorite, and I’m Joe Dirt.” – Joe Dirt
Did Joe Dirt Give You the Positivity You Need to Move Forward in Life?
Joe Dirt’s central message is crystal clear: we must keep going. Despite the problems Joe encounters, he always finds ways to get through his situations. So, if he survived childhood abandonment, constant bullying, and many more, so can we.
We should keep moving forward no matter how endless and complex the obstacles are. Yes, life is full of problems that’ll make us suffer, but we can’t let setbacks take us down. Remember, persistence is essential, and Joe shows us how it all pays off in the end.
In addition, don’t be discouraged when the end of your journey leads you down a different path than initially planned. Life is like that; you’ll never be 100% certain how it turns out. So, be persistent and always look forward!
Hopefully, this collection was able to inspire you to push through whatever obstacle you have in life. Life will continue to move on with or without you. So, always choose to make the most out of every day!
