20 Louise Belcher Quotes for Witty & Sarcastic Comebacks

If you’re a fan of Bob’s Burgers, these Louise Belcher quotes will make you laugh and snicker all day!

Bob’s Burgers is one of the world’s favorite American sitcoms. While the show generally focuses on the six main characters of the Belcher family, Lousie Belcher is one we certainly can’t forget to put the spotlight on.

Lousie Belcher is known as the mischievous and manipulative child, yet she’s also very bright and cheerful. Given that, her lines in the show are usually dripping with sarcasm. But, though that’s the case, we can’t deny the fantastic humor and wit each of her lines contains.

So, laugh along with us by reading through this collection of our favorite Louise Belcher quotes! While you’re at it, maybe you’ll also learn a thing or two to make you better understand her personality.

Let’s begin.

And make sure to read these Bob’s Burgers quotes and Tina Belcher quotes.

Best Louise Belcher Quotes

1. “If you can’t handle reality, you shoulda stayed inside of mom.”

2. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s that sex sells.”

3. “Make sure you save room at Thanksgiving for the words you will be eating!”

4. “If she were a spice, she’d be flour.”

5. “Hello and welcome to Bob’s Burgers. The burger of the day is the ‘Child Molester’​​it comes with candy. Get it?”

6. “What is this feeling I’m having? It’s like I’m feeling sad for someone other than myself. Is that a thing? Am I going crazy?”

7. “Why don’t you start speaking in words instead of your damn dirty lies!”

8. “This is gonna be the longest hour of my life!”

9. Louise Belcher: “Everyone has a right to a fair trial, even a broken-down, chewed-up, spat-out guidance counselor like Mr. Frond.”

Mr. Frond: “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.”

Louise Belcher Quotes That Will Blow Your Mind

10. “I will see you in hell!”

11. “Hey, I don’t appreciate your lack of sarcasm!”

12. “Can we roll down the windows? I’m starting to breathe in Tina’s breath.” 

13. “Turns out dad has been putting murdered cows in our hamburgers.”

14. “Alright, people. It’s time to turn this romance into a no-mance.”

Louise Belcher Quotes to Think About

15. “You know a lot about Bat Mitzvahs for someone who thought Hanukkah was Han Solo and Chewbacca’s baby.”

16. “I hope they’re using protection because I am not taking care of that baby.”

17. Bob Belcher: “Guys, remember at school, I am Mr. Belcher, so treat me like you would any other substitute teacher.”

Louise Belcher: “That means you get a mean nickname and we assume you live a horribly depressing life. In this case, it’s true!”

More Louise Belcher Quotes That Are Dripping With Sarcasm

18. “Well, well, well. They haven’t ripped up your dental license yet, huh, Dr. Yap? What’s it made out of? Is it hard to rip?”

19. “You’re peddling like crazy and not getting anywhere—just like your life!”

20. “Yeah! Messing with Tina is a privilege, not a right!”

Which of Louise Belcher’s Quotes Made Your Day?

It’s common for the youngest child in the family to be a little mischievous. If you have younger siblings, we’re sure you can relate to this, too! In Bob’s Burgers, Louise is the youngest child of the Belchers, and thus, she frequently annoys her older siblings and even her parents.

Yet, while she’s a bit of a troublemaker, keep in mind that Louise is also very smart. In fact, she frequently gives her family some helpful advice and quick-witted remarks in the series. Louise might be a master of sarcasm, but she also leaves us with life-changing lessons.

One of these would be to have the confidence to speak your own mind. As people who are part of the younger generation, we are often told to keep quiet and keep our thoughts to ourselves. But, through Louise Belcher, we learn that even though we’re young, there are still many things we can teach adults.

So, be outspoken and believe in yourself. Our knowledge and confidence aren’t equated to our age. Like what we’ve learned from the top 20 Louise Belcher quotes above, always speak your mind!