Looking for the best Mean Girls quotes? We’ve compiled a list of top 50 funny quotes and famous sayings.
50 Best Mean Girls Quotes
1. “I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can’t help it that I’m popular.” – Gretchen Wieners
2. “Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls!” – Mr. Duvall
3. “Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.” – Coach Carr
4. “Janis Ian: What is that smell?
Cady Heron: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume
Janis Ian: You smell like a baby prostitute
Cady Heron: Thanks.”
5. “I know I may seem like a bitch, but that’s only because I’m acting like a bitch.” – Cady Heron
6. “On Wednesdays we wear pink!” – Karen Smith
7. “The limit does not exist!” – Cady Heron
8. “Boo, you whore!” – Regina George
9. “Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George?” – Ms. Norbury (she watches all students and teachers raise hands)
10. “I hate her! I mean, she’s really failing me on purpose, just because I didn’t join that stupid Mathletes! She was so queer, she was like, “I’m pusher Cady, I’m a pusher.” – Cady Heron
11. “That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I’ve ever seen.” – Regina George
12. “Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness?” – Janis Ian
13. “She made out with a hot dog.” – Karen Smith
14. “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” – Cady Heron
15. “‘Cause she’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.” – Janis Ian
16. “That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.” – Damian
17. “Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?” – Ms. Norbury
18. “Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” – Regina George
19. “Make sure you check out her mom’s boob job. They’re hard as rocks!” – Gretchen Weiners
20. “Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin, ’cause I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!” – Bethany Byrd
21. “I just wanted to say that you’re all winners. And that I couldn’t be happier the school year is ending.” – Mr. Duvall
22. “I know she’s kind of socially retarded and weird, but she’s my friend… so, just promise me you won’t make fun of her!” – Regina George
23. “At your age, you’re going to have a lot of urges. You’re going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you *will* get chlamydia… and die.” – Coach Carr
24. “Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.” – Janis Ian
25. “I don’t hate you cuz yo’ fat… yo’ fat cuz I hate you!” – Jessica Lopez
26. “There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.” – Janis Ian
27. “Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism.” – Gretchen Weiners
28. “Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that’s not good.” – Cady Heron
29. “Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant, and die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just… don’t do it. Promise? Alright, everybody grab some rubbers.” – Coach Carr
30. “This is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can? It’s urgent. Thank you!” – Regina George
31. “I don’t know why. Its probably because I have a big, fat LESBIAN crush on you. Suck on that! Aye aye aye!” – Janis Ian
32. “Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen!” – Regina George
33. “I’m kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense… It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can tell when it’s gonna rain.” – Karen Smith
34. “Somebody wrote in the book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use XXL tampons, but It’s not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!” – Bethany
35. “There’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining…” – Karen Smith
36. “Your face smells like peppermint!” – Aaron Samuels
37. “In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up and beg for candy. But in girl world, Halloween is the one time of year a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it. No one had told me about the girl world rule.” – Cady Heron
38. “(On the phone) Oh, this is Suzanne from planned parenthood. Can you get her to call us back? We have her test results. It’s urgent. (Puts phone down) She’s not going anywhere!” – Regina George
39. “And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.” – Homeschooled Boy
40. “Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.” – Karen Smith
41. “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!” – Mrs. George
42. “Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons… but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!” – Bethany Byrd
43. “I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn’t even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I’m the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn’t hear that.” – Gretchen Weiners
44. “Karen Smith: So if you’re from Africa, why are you white?
Regina George: Oh my god Karen! You can’t just ask people why they’re white.”
45. “She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, “Janis, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re lesbian.” I mean I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s on crack.” – Regina George
46. “Student: Nice wig, Janis. What’s it made of?
Janis Ian: Your mom’s chest hair!”
47. “Mrs. George: I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom. Right, Regina?
Regina: Please stop talking.”
48. “Cady: So, are you gonna send any candy canes?
Regina: No. I don’t send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch.”
49. “Cady: Hi, I don’t know if anyone told you about me, I’m a new student here, my name is Cady Heron.
Kristen Hadley: Talk to me again and I’ll kick your ass!”
50. “Gretchen: Regina, we have to talk to you.
Regina: Is butter a carb?
Cady: [Rudely] YES.
Gretchen: Regina, you’re wearing sweatpants. It’s Monday.
Karen: So that’s against the rules, and you can’t sit with us.
Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren’t real.
Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!
Gretchen: You can’t sit with us!”