Drink in the unique personality of New Girl’s iconic bartender through these Nick Miller quotes!
Jake Johnson breathed life into Nick Miller’s character. In New Girl, he’s known to be socially awkward and extremely sarcastic, with tons of hilarious remarks up his sleeves.
Many say that bartenders have a knack for seeing deep into our psyches. This statement is reflected in Nick Miller, as people say he keenly understands what others are feeling—even if they don’t tell him anything upfront.
Though that’s the case with strangers, Nick seems to have trouble understanding his own emotions. Nonetheless, he’s very independent and can function well without anyone helping him.
This is also why people say his character is the most grounded among all his roommates. Nick Miller is a realist but also great at cracking jokes and witty remarks that’ll make you think.
Join us as we comb through all the little things that make him unique. We’ve got the best Nick Miller quotes below, so don’t miss out!
And and make sure to read these New Girl quotes.
Best Nick Miller Quotes
1. “Well, look at that. I’ve never been an inspiration before. I don’t like it, it’s too much responsibility.”
2. “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”
3. “If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called ‘talkings.’”
4. “Look, we’re not trying to be mean. We just don’t want you to be yourself—in any way.”
5. “You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. It’s science.”
6. “Sure, I could get a girl topless, no bra, with one hollowed-out papaya, some crushed ice, and two fingers of rum. But then I grew up. Now, I only want to make a drink a coal miner would want. Straightforward. Honest. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.’”
Inspirational Nick Miller Quotes
7. “I know this isn’t gonna end well, but the middle part is gonna be awesome.”
8. “The sky’s too fickle. It’s a play-place for butterflies.”
9. “Writers don’t read. We write.”
10. “Nothing is ever truly broken.”
Nick Miller Quotes That We’ll Always Remember
11. “Nick Miller: turning lemonade into lemons since 1981.”
12. “I refuse to pay for the weefee.”
13. “Pink robes are my catnip.”
14. “Sandwiches and sex!? I want that!”
15. “Is calling a girl ‘shorty’ still cool?”
Funny Nick Miller Quotes
16. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, a summer’s day is not a bitch!”
17. “I’m not convinced I know how to read; I’ve just memorized a lot of words.”
18. “I want to go in my room and do weird stuff on my computer.”
19. “I am not a successful adult. I don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.”
20. “I have decided to give up on women and put all of that energy into tomatoes.”
21. “No part of this conversation is making me wanna boil over with rage.”
22. “I moved to Los Angeles to get closer to whales so I could record them.”
23. “I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack, and I haven’t arranged for anyone to clear my browser history. I wasn’t building a bomb, I was just curious.”
24. “Sometimes, up close, art is ugly.”
25. “When I work out, which isn’t often, I listen to Huey Lewis because it pumps me up.”
Nick Miller Quotes on Life
26. “Life sucks, and then it gets better, and then it sucks again.”
27. “I like getting older. I feel like I’m finally aging into my personality.”
28. “People don’t change. If someone’s broken, they just stay broken.”
29. “Do you know what sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you way too long, they got too much on you. I want to have friends to still lie to me because they don’t want to hurt my feelings. I sadly kind of mean that.”
Nick Miller Quotes on Love
30. “I don’t deal with exes. They’re part of the past. You burn them swiftly and give their ashes to Poseidon.”
31. “Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been there. Okay. You’re always there. Even when I don’t want you there, you’re there. That’s what a husband does. You fight for me. That’s what a husband does. You care about what I eat. That’s what a husband does. You’ve cooked for me even when I don’t ask. That’s what a husband does. When I pass out, you comb my hair, so there are no knots in it. That’s what a husband does. So guess what? You’re gonna be a great husband to Cece ’cause you’re a great husband to me.”
32. “I fell in love with Jess the minute she walked through the door.”
Nick Miller Quotes That’ll Make You Think Twice
33. “What is money anyway? It’s just paper that some king on a mountain said was worth something. Gold, I understand; it’s shiny.”
34. “Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.”
35. “A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls.”
Sad Nick Miller Quotes to Make You Emotional
36. “I’ve got something bad inside of me. I ruin things.”
37. “I’m your best friend. I was there for you when you fell off the deck at Chester’s graduation, and I’m here for you now. There’s nothing you could say that I’d get mad at.”
38. “Guys, please let me hate myself and everything that I have created.”
39. “You’re allowed to be happy, but it’s really annoying the way you’re doing it.”
Nick Miller Quotes for Witty Pickup Lines
40. “You’re a real sandwich lady, and I wanna scream your name across the ocean.”
41. “I’m like a mailman, but instead of mail, it’s hot sex that I deliver.”
42. “If you were a hat, you’d be a top hat. But like a really big Monopoly one. And I say that with deepest compliments.”
More Nick Miller Quotes to Revisit New Girl
43. “If I can’t have a kid with a woman, then maybe I’ll have one with my cousin.”
44. “I can’t believe I’m the sober one. That’s actually never happened before in my life.”
45. “I don’t believe dinosaurs existed. I’ve seen the science. I don’t believe it.”
What Value Do You Think Nick Miller Adds to New Girl?
New Girl’s main protagonist might be Jess Day, but no doubt her friends, like Nick Miller, hold a special place in our hearts. Like the other characters, he also has some meaningful life advice that everyone can benefit from.
Yes, he might be spouting sarcastic remarks most of the time. However, most of his words still hold a truth that we can all learn from if we only stop and think about them for a bit.
For one, he has some sage words to say about life. Nick Miller says, “Life sucks, and then it gets better, and then it sucks again.”
Many compare life to a wheel. Sometimes, we can feel like we’re high up in the clouds, and at times, we can feel stuck at our lowest points.
Though it’s scary to think that there are sad things that will inevitably come to us, it’s comforting to know that because life’s a wheel, it will always continue moving forward. You won’t always be at the top, but you won’t always be stuck at the bottom, either.
It’s clear that we have a lot to gain from reading the best Nick Miller quotes. After all, he’s not just about jokes and witty remarks; he’ll also teach you much about life and love!