120 New Girl Quotes on Friendship, Love, and Life

Don’t miss out on this collection of New Girl quotes that will lift your spirits with the characters’ great humor and charming quirkiness!

New Girl is an American sitcom that will fill your day with fun, laughter, and of course, meaningful lessons on life. It follows the life of a teacher who caught her boyfriend cheating with another girl, making her look for a new apartment. An ad from Craigslist put her in a weird situation where she’ll have to start living with three single men she has never met before.

What makes New Girl so loved is that it depicts an accurate image of authentic friendship. It presents how people of entirely different personalities can ignore their differences for the sake of each other. Plus, their hilarious interactions, which later led to deep bonds, made this show appealing to the audience.

We just can’t get enough of this sitcom. So, if you’re like us, don’t hesitate to read through to the end of this list!

Start reading here.

And make sure to check out these Schitt’s Creek quotes and Shameless quotes.

Best New Girl Quotes

1. “Sometimes I think I’m just a riddle that I can’t even solve.” – Schmidt

2. “I want passion. Even if it’s harder and hurts more.” – Jessica

3. “I can’t believe I’ve known you for 20 years. And, you’re still my favorite person to talk to.” – Jessica

4. “She’s got that giant heart that’s part compass and part flashlight, and she’s just the greatest person I have ever met.” – Nick

5. “I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours! And that doesn’t mean I’m not smart and tough and strong.” – Jessica

6. “I like getting older. I feel like I’m finally aging into my personality.” – Nick

7. “I’m only attracted to guys who are afraid of success and think someone famous stole their idea.” – Jessica

8. “I hope you like feminist rants because that’s kind of my thing.” – Jessica

9. “You’re a plant killer, and I write songs. We’re weirdos, but that’s who we are.” – Jessica

10. “Relationships are prisons.” – Coach

New Girl Quotes by Schmidt 

11. “Take these, and take care of them. I can get a tetanus shot, but I can’t cure damaged suede.” – Schmidt

12. “If you did have a Nick problem, I probably could help you out. You know my diploma says that I majored in communications, but my heart says that I majored in Nicholas studies. I’m just saying.” – Schmidt

13. “I’m the squirrel and you’re my nut. Winter is coming, and I’m gonna store you in my cheek girl.” – Schmidt

14. “Pine has no place in this loft. It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses.” – Schmidt

15. “The economy stinks, bees are dying, and movies are pretty much all sequels now.” – Schmidt 

16. “If you are for one second suggesting that I don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!” – Schmidt 

17. “I love mango chutney—really any type of chutney.” – Schmidt

18. “Can someone please get my towel? It’s in my room next to my Irish walking cape.” – Schmidt

19. “I have to get everybody in the company’s name into a version of ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire.’” – Schmidt

20. “I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.” – Schmidt

21. “Sick people wanted me, dying people wanted to be me. I was the total candy striping package.” – Schmidt

22. “I hate your mustache because I miss your upper lip.” – Schmidt

Also read: The Office Quotes, Prison Mike Quotes

New Girl Quotes by Jessica “Jess” Day 

23. “So when I do the chicken dance, I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It’s more realistic.” – Jessica

24. “You guys are ruling women out based on their breast size? It’s the least important part of a woman’s body! Unless you’re a baby. Are you guys babies?” – Jessica

25. “Do you think that if I were a gold digger, I’d be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world!” – Jessica

26. “You know what we should watch? Have you guys ever seen ‘Fame’?” – Jessica

27. “Nick isn’t even a man. He’s some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day I had to tell him not to pull a dog’s tail.” – Jessica

28. “You’re making a huge, life-ruining mistake by moving in with a woman who turned you into an agoraphobic, turtle-faced, borderline alcoholic.” – Jessica

29. “I might as well call you Bridge to Terabithia because you make children cry.” – Jessica

30. “I’m probably fine. But I also might be dead.” – Jessica

31. “Nick doesn’t have a life plan—he doesn’t even have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, ‘put on pants’.” – Jessica

32. “My first crush was on a Batman cake, but my first sexual feelings were about teenage Simba because he was really hot, and I still actually find him hot.” – Jessica

33. “I’ll take the strongest drink you have, and also a wine spritzer on the side in case I don’t like it.” – Jessica

34. “I don’t want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?” – Jessica

Also read: Yellowstone Quotes, Beth Dutton Quotes

New Girl Quotes by Nick Miller 

35. “Jess, why did you do that? You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.” – Nick

36. “You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science.” – Nick

37. “I am not a successful adult. I don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.” – Nick

38. “I don’t deal with exes, they’re a part of the past. You burn them swiftly and give their ashes to Poseidon!” – Nick

39. “Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind, it’s just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.” – Nick

40. “I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words.” – Nick

41. “Look at that font! What is this? Amateur hour? At least use Palatino.” – Nick

42. “Oh, my god. Was she jealous? I think she was jealous. You did so good. That was remarkable.” – Nick

43. “Look, we’re not trying to be mean. We just don’t want you to be yourself—in any way.” – Nick 

44. “I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack and I haven’t arranged for anyone to clear my internet history. I wasn’t building a bomb, I was just curious.” – Nick

Also read: This Is Us Quotes, 30 Rock Quotes

New Girl Quotes by Winston 

45. “Nick, it’s not that hard, man. Just sit down and write. You ain’t Hemingway.” – Winston

46. “If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?” – Winston 

47. “You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost.” – Winston

48. “Here’s a fun idea: you can put a hat on him with antlers. This way, the hole he makes in the wall will all make us smile.” – Winston

49. “Are we eating or are we not eating?” – Winston

50. “Can I interest you in some white noise?” – Winston

51. “You know what I learned from the internet? We’ve got nothing to worry about.” – Winston

52. “Those are pickles in progress.” – Winston

53. “Saturday is a day for sleeping, and damn it, you will not take that away from me!” – Winston

54. “You know what would be nice? A wedding invitation engraved on a plate. What a magical wedding that would be.” – Winston

55. “I’m pretty sure they call her ‘The Fish’ because she’s tough but fair, like a lot of fish I’ve met.” – Winston

New Girl Quotes by Cece 

56. “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Cece Schmidt. So if any of you have anything else you’d like to say to my husband, I will drag you outside and we will handle this L.A. Style. I will take you to the corner of Fairfax and La Brea.” – Cece

57. “I got your text. When you’re going through a ‘Taylor Swift-like range of emotions,’ I should come over, right?” – Cece

58. “Watch your front because we’ve got your back!” – Cece

59. “Picking lint off a man’s sleeve is the most intimate gesture.” – Cece

60. “Just because a scary man yelled his name in your face doesn’t mean you can’t like sake baths.” – Cece

61. “You could have an emotional connection to a shoe on the side of the road.” – Cece

62. “Stop asking permission and go get it.” – Cece 

63. “My heart is beating really fast, but time is moving really slow.” – Cece

64. “I’ve made out with half of the guys in this room.” – Cece

65. “I used to just think if I was proposed to, I would notice it was happening.” – Cece

66. “The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don’t work.” – Cece

67. “Good luck with these two, because if they get really hungry, then all bets are off.” – Cece

New Girl Quotes by Coach 

68. “I’m not gonna say yes, and I’m not gonna say no ‘cause saying no would be a lie.” – Coach

69. “Lifehack: read your phone on the toilet like everybody else.” – Coach

70. “If anything’s cute about Winston, it’s his yawn.” – Coach

71. “Can you tell Schmidt that my portfolio is way better than his portfolio?” – Coach

72. “For the first time in my life. I’m not 100% broke.” – Coach

73. “That is such a relief. I can get fat now.” – Coach

74. “It really bums me out that I’ll never know the infinite joy of what it feels like to carry a child inside of me.” – Coach

75. “Who’s talking to you, depression-era garbage man?” – Coach

76. “Keep running or I will murder your family!” – Coach 

77. “Can’t spell sex without the ‘ex.’” – Coach

Romantic New Girl Quotes to Share With Your Special Someone

78. “It’s kind of stupid how much I’m in love with you.” – Cece

79. “It was like a damn fairytale, that kiss! It was the kiss of your life!” – Nick

80. “I look forward to a lifetime of joy, growth, and constant mispronunciation of common words.” – Cece

81. “For the first time, I see what the rest of my life looks like.” – Schmidt

82. “I want to be with you alone, without anybody else.” – Nick

83. “I have been in love with you for so long.” – Schmidt

84. “Every day with you is so much better.” – Winston

85. “I’m sorry for this, but I like you.” – Cece

86. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.” – Aly

87. “If you’re gonna do something that’s obviously very stupid, then I’m gonna do it with you.” – Nick

88. “I wanted you to feel special tonight because I’m wild about you.” – Winston

89. “I fell in love with Jess the minute she walked through the door.” – Nick

90. “In the moonlight, your eyes, they sparkle like fish eyes.” – Schmidt

91. “Girl, you are under arrest for taking my breath away.” – Winston

Funny New Girl Quotes to Make You Laugh

92. “I have decided to give up on women and put all of that energy into tomatoes.” – Nick

93. “Well, Nick, I’m out of tears. Plumb out. Now, all that’s left is just yellowish goo. That’s right, Nick, goo.” – Schmidt

94. “I thought we talked about you not wearing your show diaper in the kitchen.” – Jessica

95. “I only wanna make a drink a coal miner would want. Straight forward. Honest. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.’” – Nick

96. “Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.” – Schmidt

97. “Lying makes me sweat. That’s why I can’t play poker or talk to pregnant women.” – Nick

98. “‘Eye of the Tiger’ is the greatest song ever written. It’s so cool, it ended the Cold War!” – Winston

99. “I hate when Schmidt cries. He sounds like a ghost singing ‘Hey Ya.’” – Coach

Also read: Funny Quotes

Iconic New Girl Quotes That’ll Be Etched in Your Mind

100. “I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!” – Jessica

101. “I’m using my bride card!” – Cece

102. “I can’t believe I’m the sober one. That’s actually never happened before in my life.” – Nick

103. “It’s a horrible neighborhood. There are youths everywhere.” – Schmidt 

104. “I’ve never been an inspiration before. I don’t like this much responsibility.” – Nick

105. “Can we just take a minute to celebrate me?” – Schmidt

106. “I can’t go to jail! I’m too sarcastic for the white gangs!” – Nick

107. “You like me? You like my personality?” – Schmidt

108. “I was sabotaged by my baby box.” – Jessica

109. “I’d give you a hug, but my shirt smells pretty weird today.” – Nick

110. “You’re making me cry with emotions!” – Schmidt

111. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was my fault that your life sucks and you’re so miserable.” – Winston

More New Girl Quotes for a Brighter Day Ahead

112. “Are you cooking a frittata in a saucepan? What is this—prison?” – Schmidt

113. “Nick Miller, turning lemonade into lemons since 1981.” – Nick

114. “‘Because once you see my body, you will go brain dead and have memory loss.’ Send. Oh, no! Autocorrect changed ‘body’ to ‘meat bar.’” – Jessica

115. “I’m 30 years old, and I’ve peed in every pool I’ve been into. Every single one.” – Nick

116. “I’m the best at pranks. They call me Prank Sinatra!” – Winston

117. “I want to kill you because I respect you. Jess! I think I understand hunting!” – Nick

118. “There’s nothing like the feel of a fire, a fresh-baked cookie, and the sweet, sweet taste of crack in your lungs.” – Winston

119. “I don’t dance! I’m from that town in ‘Footloose.’” – Nick

120. “You should’ve seen how fast I came down that mountain. I mean, a lot of it was falling. Luckily, the ground just stopped me.” – Cece

Did These New Girl Quotes Lift Your Spirits and Teach You About Life?

New Girl is famous for its great humor that will fill your day with laughter. Yet, aside from its merry facade, lies several beneficial lessons in life.

There’s a common saying that goes, “Birds of the same feather flock together.” Some may believe this to be true, but New Girl proved that it is possible to form friendships with people with different or even polar opposite personalities. To do this, all we need is respect—respect to accept each others’ beliefs and opinions and be open to everyone’s points of view.

Having a deep bond with people who are different from you ensures that you’ll be able to open your eyes to the world in many different ways. This kind of friendship is unique and makes our lives lighter and happier.

You may have friends who have different opinions, moral principles, and more. But, don’t let differences destroy such an excellent relationship. Keep in mind that it’s not easy to find true friends who will treat you like family.

Did the quotes remind you of your best friends? Which quote is your favorite? Kindly share your thoughts with us below!

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