Don’t miss out on this collection of New Girl quotes that will lift your spirits with the characters’ great humor and charming quirkiness!
New Girl is an American sitcom that will fill your day with fun, laughter, and of course, meaningful lessons on life. It follows the life of a teacher who caught her boyfriend cheating with another girl, making her look for a new apartment. An ad from Craigslist put her in a weird situation where she’ll have to start living with three single men she has never met before.
What makes New Girl so loved is that it depicts an accurate image of authentic friendship. It presents how people of entirely different personalities can ignore their differences for the sake of each other. Plus, their hilarious interactions, which later led to deep bonds, made this show appealing to the audience.
We just can’t get enough of this sitcom. So, if you’re like us, don’t hesitate to read through to the end of this list!
Start reading here.
And make sure to check out these Schitt’s Creek quotes and Shameless quotes.
Best New Girl Quotes
1. “Sometimes I think I’m just a riddle that I can’t even solve.” – Schmidt
2. “I want passion. Even if it’s harder and hurts more.” – Jessica
3. “I can’t believe I’ve known you for 20 years. And, you’re still my favorite person to talk to.” – Jessica
4. “She’s got that giant heart that’s part compass and part flashlight, and she’s just the greatest person I have ever met.” – Nick
5. “I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours! And that doesn’t mean I’m not smart and tough and strong.” – Jessica
6. “I like getting older. I feel like I’m finally aging into my personality.” – Nick
7. “I’m only attracted to guys who are afraid of success and think someone famous stole their idea.” – Jessica
8. “I hope you like feminist rants because that’s kind of my thing.” – Jessica
9. “You’re a plant killer, and I write songs. We’re weirdos, but that’s who we are.” – Jessica
10. “Relationships are prisons.” – Coach
New Girl Quotes by Schmidt
11. “Take these, and take care of them. I can get a tetanus shot, but I can’t cure damaged suede.” – Schmidt
12. “If you did have a Nick problem, I probably could help you out. You know my diploma says that I majored in communications, but my heart says that I majored in Nicholas studies. I’m just saying.” – Schmidt
13. “I’m the squirrel and you’re my nut. Winter is coming, and I’m gonna store you in my cheek girl.” – Schmidt
14. “Pine has no place in this loft. It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses.” – Schmidt
15. “The economy stinks, bees are dying, and movies are pretty much all sequels now.” – Schmidt
16. “If you are for one second suggesting that I don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!” – Schmidt
17. “I love mango chutney—really any type of chutney.” – Schmidt
18. “Can someone please get my towel? It’s in my room next to my Irish walking cape.” – Schmidt
19. “I have to get everybody in the company’s name into a version of ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire.’” – Schmidt
20. “I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.” – Schmidt
21. “Sick people wanted me, dying people wanted to be me. I was the total candy striping package.” – Schmidt
22. “I hate your mustache because I miss your upper lip.” – Schmidt
Also read: Prison Mike Quotes
New Girl Quotes by Jessica “Jess” Day
23. “So when I do the chicken dance, I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It’s more realistic.” – Jessica
24. “You guys are ruling women out based on their breast size? It’s the least important part of a woman’s body! Unless you’re a baby. Are you guys babies?” – Jessica
25. “Do you think that if I were a gold digger, I’d be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world!” – Jessica
26. “You know what we should watch? Have you guys ever seen ‘Fame’?” – Jessica
27. “Nick isn’t even a man. He’s some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day I had to tell him not to pull a dog’s tail.” – Jessica
28. “You’re making a huge, life-ruining mistake by moving in with a woman who turned you into an agoraphobic, turtle-faced, borderline alcoholic.” – Jessica
29. “I might as well call you Bridge to Terabithia because you make children cry.” – Jessica
30. “I’m probably fine. But I also might be dead.” – Jessica
31. “Nick doesn’t have a life plan—he doesn’t even have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, ‘put on pants’.” – Jessica
32. “My first crush was on a Batman cake, but my first sexual feelings were about teenage Simba because he was really hot, and I still actually find him hot.” – Jessica
33. “I’ll take the strongest drink you have, and also a wine spritzer on the side in case I don’t like it.” – Jessica
34. “I don’t want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?” – Jessica
Also read: Yellowstone Quotes, Beth Dutton Quotes
New Girl Quotes by Nick Miller
35. “Jess, why did you do that? You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.” – Nick
36. “You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science.” – Nick
37. “I am not a successful adult. I don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.” – Nick
38. “I don’t deal with exes, they’re a part of the past. You burn them swiftly and give their ashes to Poseidon!” – Nick
39. “Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind, it’s just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.” – Nick
40. “I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words.” – Nick
41. “Look at that font! What is this? Amateur hour? At least use Palatino.” – Nick
42. “Oh, my god. Was she jealous? I think she was jealous. You did so good. That was remarkable.” – Nick
43. “Look, we’re not trying to be mean. We just don’t want you to be yourself—in any way.” – Nick
44. “I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack and I haven’t arranged for anyone to clear my internet history. I wasn’t building a bomb, I was just curious.” – Nick
Also read: This Is Us Quotes, 30 Rock Quotes
New Girl Quotes by Winston
45. “Nick, it’s not that hard, man. Just sit down and write. You ain’t Hemingway.” – Winston
46. “If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?” – Winston
47. “You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost.” – Winston
48. “Here’s a fun idea: you can put a hat on him with antlers. This way, the hole he makes in the wall will all make us smile.” – Winston
49. “Are we eating or are we not eating?” – Winston
50. “Can I interest you in some white noise?” – Winston
51. “You know what I learned from the internet? We’ve got nothing to worry about.” – Winston
52. “Those are pickles in progress.” – Winston
53. “Saturday is a day for sleeping, and damn it, you will not take that away from me!” – Winston
54. “You know what would be nice? A wedding invitation engraved on a plate. What a magical wedding that would be.” – Winston
55. “I’m pretty sure they call her ‘The Fish’ because she’s tough but fair, like a lot of fish I’ve met.” – Winston
New Girl Quotes by Cece
56. “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Cece Schmidt. So if any of you have anything else you’d like to say to my husband, I will drag you outside and we will handle this L.A. Style. I will take you to the corner of Fairfax and La Brea.” – Cece
57. “I got your text. When you’re going through a ‘Taylor Swift-like range of emotions,’ I should come over, right?” – Cece
58. “Watch your front because we’ve got your back!” – Cece
59. “Picking lint off a man’s sleeve is the most intimate gesture.” – Cece
60. “Just because a scary man yelled his name in your face doesn’t mean you can’t like sake baths.” – Cece
61. “You could have an emotional connection to a shoe on the side of the road.” – Cece
62. “Stop asking permission and go get it.” – Cece
63. “My heart is beating really fast, but time is moving really slow.” – Cece
64. “I’ve made out with half of the guys in this room.” – Cece
65. “I used to just think if I was proposed to, I would notice it was happening.” – Cece
66. “The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don’t work.” – Cece
67. “Good luck with these two, because if they get really hungry, then all bets are off.” – Cece
New Girl Quotes by Coach
68. “I’m not gonna say yes, and I’m not gonna say no ‘cause saying no would be a lie.” – Coach
69. “Lifehack: read your phone on the toilet like everybody else.” – Coach
70. “If anything’s cute about Winston, it’s his yawn.” – Coach
71. “Can you tell Schmidt that my portfolio is way better than his portfolio?” – Coach
72. “For the first time in my life. I’m not 100% broke.” – Coach
73. “That is such a relief. I can get fat now.” – Coach
74. “It really bums me out that I’ll never know the infinite joy of what it feels like to carry a child inside of me.” – Coach
75. “Who’s talking to you, depression-era garbage man?” – Coach
76. “Keep running or I will murder your family!” – Coach
77. “Can’t spell sex without the ‘ex.’” – Coach
Romantic New Girl Quotes to Share With Your Special Someone
78. “It’s kind of stupid how much I’m in love with you.” – Cece
79. “It was like a damn fairytale, that kiss! It was the kiss of your life!” – Nick
80. “I look forward to a lifetime of joy, growth, and constant mispronunciation of common words.” – Cece
81. “For the first time, I see what the rest of my life looks like.” – Schmidt
82. “I want to be with you alone, without anybody else.” – Nick
83. “I have been in love with you for so long.” – Schmidt
84. “Every day with you is so much better.” – Winston
85. “I’m sorry for this, but I like you.” – Cece
86. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.” – Aly
87. “If you’re gonna do something that’s obviously very stupid, then I’m gonna do it with you.” – Nick
88. “I wanted you to feel special tonight because I’m wild about you.” – Winston
89. “I fell in love with Jess the minute she walked through the door.” – Nick
90. “In the moonlight, your eyes, they sparkle like fish eyes.” – Schmidt
91. “Girl, you are under arrest for taking my breath away.” – Winston
Funny New Girl Quotes to Make You Laugh
92. “I have decided to give up on women and put all of that energy into tomatoes.” – Nick
93. “Well, Nick, I’m out of tears. Plumb out. Now, all that’s left is just yellowish goo. That’s right, Nick, goo.” – Schmidt
94. “I thought we talked about you not wearing your show diaper in the kitchen.” – Jessica
95. “I only wanna make a drink a coal miner would want. Straight forward. Honest. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.’” – Nick
96. “Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.” – Schmidt
97. “Lying makes me sweat. That’s why I can’t play poker or talk to pregnant women.” – Nick
98. “‘Eye of the Tiger’ is the greatest song ever written. It’s so cool, it ended the Cold War!” – Winston
99. “I hate when Schmidt cries. He sounds like a ghost singing ‘Hey Ya.’” – Coach
Also read: Funny Quotes
Iconic New Girl Quotes That’ll Be Etched in Your Mind
100. “I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!” – Jessica
101. “I’m using my bride card!” – Cece
102. “I can’t believe I’m the sober one. That’s actually never happened before in my life.” – Nick
103. “It’s a horrible neighborhood. There are youths everywhere.” – Schmidt
104. “I’ve never been an inspiration before. I don’t like this much responsibility.” – Nick
105. “Can we just take a minute to celebrate me?” – Schmidt
106. “I can’t go to jail! I’m too sarcastic for the white gangs!” – Nick
107. “You like me? You like my personality?” – Schmidt
108. “I was sabotaged by my baby box.” – Jessica
109. “I’d give you a hug, but my shirt smells pretty weird today.” – Nick
110. “You’re making me cry with emotions!” – Schmidt
111. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was my fault that your life sucks and you’re so miserable.” – Winston
More New Girl Quotes for a Brighter Day Ahead
112. “Are you cooking a frittata in a saucepan? What is this—prison?” – Schmidt
113. “Nick Miller, turning lemonade into lemons since 1981.” – Nick
114. “‘Because once you see my body, you will go brain dead and have memory loss.’ Send. Oh, no! Autocorrect changed ‘body’ to ‘meat bar.’” – Jessica
115. “I’m 30 years old, and I’ve peed in every pool I’ve been into. Every single one.” – Nick
116. “I’m the best at pranks. They call me Prank Sinatra!” – Winston
117. “I want to kill you because I respect you. Jess! I think I understand hunting!” – Nick
118. “There’s nothing like the feel of a fire, a fresh-baked cookie, and the sweet, sweet taste of crack in your lungs.” – Winston
119. “I don’t dance! I’m from that town in ‘Footloose.’” – Nick
120. “You should’ve seen how fast I came down that mountain. I mean, a lot of it was falling. Luckily, the ground just stopped me.” – Cece
Did These New Girl Quotes Lift Your Spirits and Teach You About Life?
New Girl is famous for its great humor that will fill your day with laughter. Yet, aside from its merry facade, lies several beneficial lessons in life.
There’s a common saying that goes, “Birds of the same feather flock together.” Some may believe this to be true, but New Girl proved that it is possible to form friendships with people with different or even polar opposite personalities. To do this, all we need is respect—respect to accept each others’ beliefs and opinions and be open to everyone’s points of view.
Having a deep bond with people who are different from you ensures that you’ll be able to open your eyes to the world in many different ways. This kind of friendship is unique and makes our lives lighter and happier.
You may have friends who have different opinions, moral principles, and more. But, don’t let differences destroy such an excellent relationship. Keep in mind that it’s not easy to find true friends who will treat you like family.
Did the quotes remind you of your best friends? Which quote is your favorite? Kindly share your thoughts with us below!
