160 Big Mouth Quotes That Will Guide You Through Puberty

We’ve compiled a list of our favorite Big Mouth quotes to help you embrace the process of physical and mental development.

Big Mouth tells a journey of the seventh-grade students that underwent adolescent experiences.

They navigate puberty while dealing with issues such as masturbation and sexual arousal. 

Find out how these groups of friends seek and ask advice from other people and personified objects.

Here are some of the most relatable quotes from the show.

See the full collection below.

And don’t forget to check out these Steven Universe quotes and Xavier Renegade Angel quotes.

Best Big Mouth Quotes

1. “They’re saying I’m a serial killer, but I’m just a chronic masturbater.” – Andrew Glouberman

2. “You really want to get your tongue underneath hers, too. Yeah, you want to get in there like a Claritin to just dissolve.” – Andrew Glouberman

3. “Love dies, let’s bury the body together.” – Coach Steve

4. “Andrew, I think the mother and sister are about to f*ck.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

5. “Puberty Fairy? I’m the hormone monster. I’m no fairy. I mean sure I like to f*ck around with dudes, but I’m no fairy.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

6. “This kid is a g*dd*mn prodigy. I think he’s his own hormone monster.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

7. “So, you can take your destiny and go f*ck yourself.” – Nick Birch

8. “My whole body is tense, like Joe Biden is whispering a dirty joke in my ear.” – Andrew Glouberman

9. “I’m your hormone monstress, baby, I know everything!” – Constance the Hormone Monstress

10. “Hey man, I got a medical emergency so I gotta bounce. Jack off twice and page me in the morning.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

11. “All I wanted was a bl*wj*b at a high school party, is that such a crime?” – Val Bilzerian

12. “Listen to me! You want to shoplift lipstick, you want to listen to Lana Del Rey on repeat while you cut up all your t-shirts, you want to scream at your mother and then laugh at her tears!” – Constance the Hormone Monstress

13. “You look like a hot hunk of cheese.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

14. “Spoken like a two-faced f*ck*n’ gemini.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

15. “You’re getting your hair pubed?” – Andrew Glouberman

Related: South Park Quotes

Big Mouth Quotes on Pleasure

16. “You lean your head back, arch your crotch in the air and say, ‘Dinner is served.’” – Maury the Hormone Monster

17. “I wanna go to South Beach to see a wet dick contest.” – Constance the Hormone Monstress

18. “I just wish you could see your dick the way I do.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

19. “Vive la France! Let them eat cock.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

20. “Pressure, yes. Let’s get your mom’s panini press. We’ll make a pan-enis. The house will smell for weeks.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

21. “If everyone ate just a little more p*ss*, the world would be a better place, baby.” – Ladybug

22. “My tone can suck a dick.” – Nick Birch

23. “I love big and I love hard.” – Constance the Hormone Monstress

24. “What, like a show about a bunch of kids masturbating?” – Andrew Glouberman

25. “If I was gonna f*ck a turkey, I would warm it up, like a g*dd*mn gentleman!” – Jay Bilzerian

26. “You’re gonna sit on his face and use that hair as a seat belt.” – Mona the Hormone Monstress

27. “She might be f*ck*ng with you, but I think we love it.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

28. “Yeah, let’s be sexy pirates with peg legs made of dildos.” – Constance the Hormone Monstress

29. “I love how you inspire me to jack off.” – Nick Birch

30. “Big dick boy! Get f*ck*d! Eat salt water taffy!” – Nick Birch

Related: Adventure Time Quotes

Serious Big Mouth Quotes That Will Make You Think

31. “I’m actually grateful for a lot of things.” – Jessi Glaser

32. “You sing like a g*dd*mn angel, and you got the heart of a champion.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

33. “I gotta withhold my seed for the safety of mankind.” – Andrew Glouberman

34. “Teach me the ways of your kingdom.” – Jay Bilzerian

35. “I have nothing and nobody.” – Jessi Glaser

36. “I’m a person, not something to hide.” – Natalie

37. “Just to be clear, ‘different’ is not a compliment.” – Mona the Hormone Monstress

38. “Hold your feelings in, like your sh*t.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

39. “Reality is only a construct.” – Caleb

40. “Everybody seems to be doing super great, and I’m kind of not.” – Jessi Glaser

41. “I felt the music wash over me. It had me, right then and there.” – Ghost of Duke Ellington

42. “I like it when things are as bad for you as they are for me.” – Andrew Glouberman

43. “I’m not nervous. I’m just uncertain how things will go and, therefore, deeply terrified.” – Matthew MacDell

44. “But please, don’t make me regret opening my heart to you.” – Missy Foreman-Greenwald

45. “You guys don’t understand the politics of childhood.” – Nick Birch

Funny Big Mouth Quotes

46. “I think I thought I was, like, a big dick boy, but I think I was just being a dick.” – Nick Birch

47. “You somehow made farting even cooler.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

48. “Sorry, I fart when I’m lying.” – Andrew Glouberman

49. “You’re like a demon Oprah.” – Jessi Glaser

50. “Ugh, my brain is a tuna melt.” – Jessi Glaser

51. “By the end of the semester, you’ll be eating your own ass.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

52. “Yeah, I feel like a dirty piece of meat. Like a slab of prime rib that knows what’s what.” – Lola

53. “Smile, but with your penis.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

54. “What are you gonna wear? What am I gonna wear? What are my dicks gonna wear? Probably just, like, a cute top and jeans.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

55. “Every time I move, I fart.” – Andrew Glouberman

56. “Tick-tock. It’s dick punch o’clock. And I don’t like to be late.” – Missy Foreman-Greenwald

57. “My balls are about to sh*t.” – Jay Bilzerian

58. “I’ll be here farting up in your bed.” – Constance the Hormone Monstress

59. “Dad, your breath smells like p*ss*.” – Judd Birch

60. “So, life started because a giant alien had sex with the Earth? I don’t know. That sounds like Scientology.” – Andrew Glouberman

Interesting Big Mouth Quotes to Keep You Immersed in the Show

61. “Smooches are for the weekend and the last I checked, it’s Wednesday. ” – Lars

62. “What is the point of research papers? Everything’s on Wikipedia, and it’s all completely accurate.” – Nick Birch

63. “Marty Glouberman doesn’t relax. The man eats on the toilet to save time.” – Andrew Glouberman

64. “You don’t have to be an astrophysicist to know that you’re a star.” – Lars

65. “Will, if you’re a p*ss* and you’re a gaping *ssh*l*, then I must be the world’s luckiest taint.” – Elliot Birch

66. “All you had to do was kiss a dude. Most straight guys do it by accident.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

67. “It’s a thing and you don’t love it, you’re obsessed with it.” – Diane Birch

68. “I’m likable, that’s my thing.” – Missy Foreman-Greenwald

69. “Now, get in the slide and suck that boy’s face.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

70. “Look, in the future, we’re all gonna be either a Lyft driver or a billionaire.” – Nick Birch

71. “Behold the sun, the fiery *n*s of the sky.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

72. “You’re becoming your own person and it’s rad.” – Leah Birch

73. “You cannot run from destiny.” – Andrew Glouberman

74. “This place looks like the Holocaust Museum.” – Andrew Glouberman

75. “I wish women were more sex-positive but we’re just not there yet.” – Daniel

Resentful Big Mouth Quotes 

76. “F*ck you, sit on this. F*ck your family.” – Andrew Glouberman

77. “I will smash your brain into a smoothie and drink your thoughts!” – Lola

78. “This might be my morning soda talking, but f*ck everybody, I’m outta here.” – Andrew Glouberman

79. “Rage, rage, f*ck*ng rage!” – Andrew Glouberman

80. “Just jerk yourself off and get your sh*t together!” – Jay Bilzerian

81. “I’m not payin’ for this crazy woman’s b*llsh*t rehab.” – Marty Glouberman

82. “Daniel, you’ve been a busy little *ssh*l*, huh?” – Matthew McDell

83. “You’re sl*t shaming me. Shame on you.” – Daniel

84. “She’s the worst. I hate how she ‘huchs’ her words.” – Jessi Glaser

85. “I’m a gaping *ssh*l*. Respect my truth.” – Judd Birch

Teasing Big Mouth Quotes That Will Make You Chuckle

86. “You’re gonna f*ll*t* him so hard, he’s gonna forget the Pledge of Allegiance.” – Mona the Hormone Monstress

87. “I am not a kid, for your information. I am 60 years old. I remember when Moses was president. ” – Jessi Glaser

88. “If you whiny nobodies hate the play so much, just quit.” – Lola

89. “Quick, stuff your bra with bacon. Boys love bacon.” – Constance the Hormone Monstress

90. “I’m like Young Sheldon, if he f*ck*d.” – Jay Bilzerian

91. “You look like a coconut that fell into a campfire.” – Matthew McDell

92. “And this whole prix fixe menu is a scam! Who orders dessert at the beginning of the meal, like a serial killer?” – Marty Glouberman

93. “Boys are animals—full of c*m and fury.” – Jay Bilzerian

94. “I may have bitten off more than I can f*ck.” – Jay Bilzerian

95. “I guess I should go to school, even though there’s no p*rn there.” – Andrew Glouberman

96. “Happy Valentine’s Day, my little baby Bunsen burner.” – Constance the Hormone Monstress

97. “The mons pubis? Oh, it’s the welcome mat to the pleasure palace.” – Jessi Glaser

98. “I gotta be honest with you. I know I seem like a real gigolo, but actually I’m a little nervous because I’m a total virgin.” – Coach Steve

99. “Wrong? We’re in Florida. The state bird is a chicken finger.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

100. “Good night, you prince of Westchester, you king of the tri-state area.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

Big Mouth Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

101. “Gay Town sounds fun, but I’ve thought a lot about it, and I belong in Biami.” – Jay Bilzerian

102. “Ah, 1913, it was America’s puberty, and my puberty too.” – Ghost of Duke Ellington

103. “Kids just don’t nut like they used to.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

104. “Yeah, I got a nice big solid seat, don’t I?” – Andrew Glouberman

105. “I watched a dog lick SpaghettiOs off a baby’s head.” – Nick Birch

106. “Fat package. I feel better now.” – Missy Foreman-Greenwald

107. “Dickarus is flying too close to the sun.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

108. “That’s it, man! Your penner is a choo-choo train and her sweetie is a townie.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

109. “Holy sh*t, I hope not! I mean, maybe if it’s animated, we could get away with it. Right?” – Maury the Hormone Monster

110. “We’ve got wet salami sandwiches in tinfoil, a thermos of clam chowder, and some Chex Mix in an old Band-Aid box. Help yourself.” – Marty Glouberman

111. “It’s when a man pushes a woman’s head to try to get a blowjob.” – Jessi Glaser

112. “You can mons push me all you want.” – Andrew Glouberman

113. “Not yet, that’s why we gotta get to the bathroom, Sweetheart!” – Maury the Hormone Monster

114. “I got it at Topman, yet it screams bottom.” – Matthew McDell

115. “You’re f*ck*ng funny. She’s funny! We’re friends now.” – Matthew McDell

Big Mouth Quotes That Will Catch Your Attention

116. “I crave emotional intimacy. Because my parents have a no-touch policy with me. So I don’t really feel human contact at all.” – Jay Bilzerian

117. “I have an H and a G and all that’s missing is U.” – Elliot Birch

118. “You guys realize DNA is a hoax created by gay scientists, right?” – Jay Bilzerian

119. “She was your friend, then she was your lover, now she’s your enemy.” – Jay Bilzerian

120. “My dad says when you take into account maternity leave, you do get equal pay.” – Jay Bilzerian

121. “It’s not for me but people will like it. It’s Starbucks. It’s what America wants.” – Matthew McDell

122. “Since when did being called a beautiful genital become an insult?” – Elliot Birch

123. “My bros and I are developing a sh*tst*rm worth of extreme sports, like breakball, golf punch, and peep-kour.” – Jay Bilzerian

124. “Men are threatened by women who don’t shy away from conflict.” – Caleb

124. “You could have been lured into an electronics store by a pushy Israeli and forced to buy a camera you don’t want.” – Barbara Glouberman

126. “Woody Allen was accused of molestation. He says he didn’t do it, but he did marry his stepdaughter. It is both very complicated and very simple.” – Caleb

127. “Those girls are gonna eat him alive and then barf him back out because they’re bulimic.” – Jessi Glaser

128. “The girls should not be punished because the boys won’t control themselves.” – Jessi Glaser

129. “Steve, do you ever get lonely?” – Jessi Glaser

130. “No! Oh, f*ck a duck. I’m gonna go? I’m gonna go f*ck a duck.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

Fantastic Big Mouth Quotes That You Can Connect With

131. “Being a woman is misery.” – Statue of Liberty

132. “Don’t care for men, either. I don’t like people in general.” – Marty Glouberman

133. “Jesus, is there anything good about being a woman?” – Jessi Glaser 

134. “I’m not gonna ask a girl. I don’t need that kind of rejection.” – Andrew Glouberman

135. “If you’re here to tell me how terrible being a woman is, my mom already—.” – Jessi Glaser

136. “Being young, gay, and mean is not a personality.” – Older gay man

137. “I can’t believe I’m in the seventh grade and already over high school.” – Matthew McDell

138. “Jessi, I loved it. A few small thoughts. You sang great. The breath in here is—it’s terrible.” – Nick Birch

139. “We hate camp. It stinks like trees. And the boy only likes to poop at home.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

140. “Eleanor Roosevelt once said, quote, ‘Do one thing every day that scares you,’ closed quote, and I think this red bra scares both of us.” – Jessi Glaser

141. “Okay, Steve, you’re going to have to learn your letters.” – Miss G 

142. “Okay, I admit some of these girls are kind of pretty, but my mom says real beauty is on the inside.” – Jessi Glaser

143. “The problem with your sink is that I have no idea how to fix it.” – Coach Steve

144. “I feel kind of nervous, you know? I’m just a little fuzzy on the details.” – Coach Steve

145. “Look, I know this all seems embarrassing right now but maybe one day, you’ll look back on this time fondly and perhaps even make something beautiful out of it.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

Other Big Mouth Quotes

146. “I mean until Trump got elected, Harriet Tubman was going to be on the $20 bill.” – Nick Birch

147. “Clip-clop, I’m a little show pony.” – Lola

148. “Read the tea leaves, honey!” – Andrew Glouberman

149. “I’m going to do sex on a lady, and a lady is going to do sex on me.” – Coach Steve

150. “Well, obviously, I know the big song. Teepee, fat guy, sideways moon, other fat guy, sideways comb!” – Coach Steve

151. “I know I’m a broken record with this but mercury is in retrograde.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

152. “I think it’s gonna be Papa John now.” – Nick Birch

153. “I 100% f*ck my pillow. First, I make a slit. Not too long, careful as to not rip the edges, making what I call ‘the husband stitch’. Then, I take two Ziploc bags and I fill them with Amy’s Organic Lentil Soup, which I microwave to exactly 98.6 degrees is not enough to burn you, but just enough to feel warm and inviting. Then I place them in the slit of the pillow. There’s another slit in the back, but that’s only for my birthday.” – Jay Bilzerian

154. “You’re a little f*ck*n’ freak, I like hanging out with you.” – Maury the Hormone Monster

155. “I think I put my pener in her sweetie.” – Coach Steve

156. “Are we really doing the Electric Slide right now?” – Nick Birch

157. “I live balls out and I give zero f*cks.” – Jay Bilzerian

158. “I’m what’s known in the medical community as a man baby.” – Coach Steve

159. “Why do you smell so good?” – Jessi Glaser

160. “Oh, that’s a relief, because I’d do it, but it would weigh on me.” – Coach Steve

What Were Your Most Memorable Puberty Experiences?

The puberty stage is the most difficult and exciting time in a teenager’s life. It is the age at which both a boy and a girl have reached sexual maturity, accompanied by a roller coaster of emotional and physical changes.

It’s important to remember that each teenager will go through these changes in their own way. Some may show signs of maturation sooner or later than others.

Teenagers have a variety of coping mechanisms in response to the abrupt changes they are going through. Yet, you should enjoy that moment and be proud of yourself!

Which of the quotes above piqued your curiosity? Do you want to share it with your friends? Leave your comments below!


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Amy Finn

Hi. I'm Amy, the founder of this blog. I love quotes and enjoy sharing the best ones with you.

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