70 Clueless Quotes on ‘90s Comedy & Coming-Of-Age

These Clueless quotes have got you covered, from witty lines and sarcastic remarks to raging parties and chic fashion styles!

Clueless is a classic ‘90s coming-of-age comedy movie that can withstand the test of time. It tells the story of Cher Horowitz—a rich and seemingly shallow teenage girl who prioritizes style, popularity, and matchmaking over everything else. However, there’s more to Cher than meets the eye.

As the movie’s main protagonist, she’s Clueless’ way of opening up a conversation about life and growing up. As you watch the movie, maybe you’ll stop and think, “What did I do when I was in high school?” or “What exactly was I thinking when I did that?”

There will be numerous ups and downs in life, but it’s all part of growing up. Every line in Clueless will remind you of your experiences when you were younger. So, let’s go and reminisce about the best times of our lives by reading through the quotes below!

Let’s start here.

And make sure to read these Mean Girls quotes and Fast Times at Ridgemont High quotes.

Best Clueless Quotes

1. “Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there’s no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.” – Cher

2. “Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me ‘woman.’” – Dionne

3. “She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.” – Cher

4. “Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex. And anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.” – Cher

5. “It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day.” – Cher

6. “Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.” – Cher

7. “Love was everywhere, and even though I was alone, I was really happy for Tai. It’s like that book I read in ninth grade that said, ‘‘Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people.’” – Cher

8. “Daddy, some people lost all their belongings. Don’t you think that includes athletic equipment?” – Cher

9. “Wasn’t my mom a betty? She died when I was just a baby. A fluke accident during a routine liposuction. I don’t remember her, but I like to pretend she still watches over me.” – Cher

Famous Clueless Quotes

10. “I was just totally clueless.” – Cher 

11. “If I’m too good for him, then how come I’m not with him?” – Tai

12. “Dude, what’s wrong. You suffering from buyer’s remorse or something?” – Dionne

13. “I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid, and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonald’s who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy.” – Travis

14. “I know it sounds mental, but sometimes I have more fun vegging out than when I go partying. Maybe because my party clothes are so binding.” – Cher

15. “May I please remind you that it does not say ‘RSVP’ on the Statue of Liberty.” – Cher

Also read: Famous Quotes

Iconic Clueless Quotes

16. “Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?” – Cher

17. “Dionne and I were both named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials.” – Cher

18. “Christian said he’d call the next day, but in boy time, that meant Thursday.” – Cher

19. “Old people can be so sweet.” – Cher

20. “I don’t get it. Did my hair get flat? Did I stumble into some bad lighting? What’s wrong with me?” – Cher

21. “No, she’s a full-on Monet. It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s okay, but up close, it’s a big old mess.” – Cher

22. “Wait a second, what am I stressing about? This is like, Josh!” – Cher

23. “I had an overwhelming sense of ickiness.” – Cher

24. “If I ever saw you do anything that wasn’t 90% selfish, I’d die of shock.” – Josh

25. Tai: “Cher, you’re a virgin?”

Cher: “God, you say that like it’s a bad thing.”

Dionne: “Besides, the PC term is hymenally challenged.”

Also read: She’s the Man Quotes, 10 Things I Hate About You Quotes

Clueless Quotes From Cher That Perfectly Describe Her

26. “Well, some teachers are trying to lowball me, Daddy. And I know how you say, ‘Never accept a first offer,’ so I figure these grades are just a jumping-off point to start negotiations.” – Cher

27. “Ugh, as if!” – Cher

28. “He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?” – Cher

29. “I’m not a prude, I’m just highly selective.” – Cher

30. “I feel like such a bonehead.” – Cher

31. “You are a snob and a half.” – Cher

32. “I am totally butt crazy in love with Josh.” – Cher

33. “You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.” – Cher

34. “So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair and cover it up with a backward cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.” – Cher

35. “I felt impotent and out of control. Which I really, really hate. I had to find sanctuary in a place where I could gather my thoughts and regain my strength.” – Cher

Also read: Jennifer’s Body Quotes, The Devil Wears Prada Quotes

Clueless Quotes From Dionne to Make You Giggle

36. “Cher’s saving herself for Luke Perry.” – Dionne

37. “I do not wear polyester hair, okay? Unlike some people I know, like Shawana.” – Dionne

38. “Well there goes your social life.” – Dionne

39. “Hello? There was a stop sign.” – Dionne

40. “Well at least I wouldn’t skin a collie to make my backpack.” – Dionne

Interesting Clueless Quotes From Tai

41. “Why am I even listening to you, to begin with? You’re a virgin who can’t drive.” – Tai

42. “Rollin’ with the homies.” – Tai

43. “Cher, I don’t want to do this anymore. And my buns, they don’t feel nothin’ like steel.” – Tai

44. “You think I’m a mentally challenged airhead?” – Tai

Classic Clueless Quotes for Every ‘90s Kid

45. “Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anybody would miss you.” – Mr. Horowitz

46. “He’s a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, know what I’m saying?” – Murray 

47. “Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for 40 minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I’ve worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree Gum.” – Cher

48. “What’s with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?” – Mr. Horowitz

49. “Okay, like, the way I feel about the Rolling Stones is the way my kids are gonna feel about Nine Inch Nails, so I really shouldn’t torment my mom anymore, huh?” – Travis

50. Josh: “Just because my mom marries some guy does not mean he’s my stepfather.”

Cher: “Actually, Kato, that’s exactly what it means.”

51. “Okay, so you’re probably going, ‘Is this, like, a Noxzema commercial or what?’ But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.” – Cher

52. Cher: “Would you call me selfish?”

Dionne: “No, not to your face.”

Short Clueless Quotes to Think About

53. “That was way harsh, Tai.” – Cher

54. “I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies.” – Cher

55. “She could be a farmer in those clothes.” – Amber

56. “Ladies generally hang on the grassy knoll over there.” – Cher

57. “Oh my god, I am totally buggin’.” – Cher

58. “I so need lessons from you on how to be cool.” – Josh

Also read: Short Quotes

Funny Clueless Quotes

59. Mr. Horowitz: “You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C plus to an A-minus?”

Cher: “Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud?”

Mr. Horowitz: “Honey, I couldn’t be happier than if they were based on real grades.”

60. “My plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls are flying at my nose.” – Amber

61. “Daddy is so good, he gets $500 an hour to fight with people, but he fights with me for free because I’m his daughter.” – Cher

62. “This is California, not Kentucky?” – Cher

63. “Girlie, as far as you’re concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV.” – Lucy

64. “Suddenly a dark cloud settled over first period—I got a C in debate?” – Cher

65. Cher: “If it’s a concussion, you have to keep her conscious, okay? Ask her questions.”

Elton: “What’s seven times seven?”

Cher: “Stuff she knows!”

66. Cher: “I like this boy, and he likes somebody else.”

Mr. Horowitz: “Well, obviously this boy is a complete moron.”

Also read: Funny Quotes

More Clueless Quotes That You Will Enjoy

67. Josh: “You want to practice parking?”

Cher: “What’s the point? Everywhere you go has valet.”

68. “Where’s my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal? It’s my most capable looking outfit!” – Cher

69. “No cruising around with Dionne, alright? Two permits do not equal a license.” – Mr. Horowitz

70. “Isn’t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.” – Cher

What Memories Have You Uncovered After Reading This Collection?

Clueless is a great movie that takes us back to the years when we were still learning about ourselves. It’s fun, light, and, most importantly, very relatable. 

Our teenage years are when we’re free to make mistakes, discover our preferences, and find true friends. This journey is perfectly portrayed by our main character, Cher. However, more than this journey, the message that the movie is really trying to put out is how clueless we can be.

Because of Cher’s personality, she’s absorbed in herself and doesn’t really take the time to stop and think about the world and how her actions might affect others. But, true to Clueless being a classic, in the end, she also learns to be more open and accepting of others’ situations.

However, it’s not just Cher. We can all be clueless at one point, whether it’s about how we respond to others, how we spend our time and money, or even as simple as what we say. So, let’s all be more mindful about our environment; after all, the world doesn’t revolve around us.

We hope you learned a thing or two from this collection of Clueless quotes. Feel free to reread and share this list whenever you want to reminisce about this classic movie or if you want to be inspired.

What other lessons did you learn from Clueless? Who’s your favorite character? Join the discussion below!