40 Dr. Zoidberg Quotes That Are Out of This World Hilarious

If you find yourself in need of a good laugh, then these Dr. Zoidberg quotes will surely do the trick!

Dr. Zoidberg is a fictional character from Matt Groening’s animated TV series, Futurama. He is a lobster-like alien who claims to be a brilliant physician specializing in human physiology.

This absurd doctor is one of the most quotable characters in the Futurama TV series. He has many witty comebacks and hilarious lines that we’re sure you’ll love! If you want to know more about his character and his role in Futurama, then make sure you read through the complete list below.

Start reading here.

And don’t forget to check out these Futurama quotes and Zapp Brannigan quotes.

Best Dr. Zoidberg Quotes

1. “My name isn’t slick, it’s Dr. Zoidberg. John F*cking Dr. Zoidberg!”

2. “Yes you can! The music was in your heart, not your hands!”

3. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Fry. You lost the woman of your dreams but you still have Zoidberg. You all still have Zoidberg!”

4. “Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor.”

5. “Is it possible that all this slavery and oppression is smutzing up our freedom lesson?”

6. “I’m looking for something beautiful and cheap for a lady who is one of those things!”

7. “There you are, good as new; except for your dorsal fin, I’m afraid I couldn’t find it after the crash.”

8. “I’m confused, Fry. I’m feeling a strange new emotion. Is it love when you care about a female for reasons beyond mating?”

9. “You? The successor? Over my empty shell! The Professor will pick me. Only I have his lobster-like tenacity.”

10. “It’s all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies.”

Famous Dr. Zoidberg Quotes

11. “Your music’s bad and you should feel bad.”

12. “There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like!”

13. “What?! My mother was a saint! Get out!”

14. “Hooray, people are paying attention to me.”

15. “Yes, fellow patriots, I ate your flag. And I did it with pride.”

16. “I’m swelling with patriotic mucus!”

17. “Hooray! A happy ending for the rich people.”

18. “If rich people think it’s good, I’ll buy it. One art, please!”

19. “The hell with your spoiled baby! I need those shoes.”

20. “Ladies love a decapod with clothes made of cash!”

21. “Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me, disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?”

22. “By the way, I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.”

23. “Ain’t got no cash, ain’t got no style. Ladies vomit when I smile. But does Zoidberg worry? Feh! You wish.”

24. Military Official: “What the general means is, why did you come to Earth?”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Not a day goes by that I don’t ask myself the same question.”

Also read: Bender Quotes

Dr. Zoidberg Quotes That Zoom in on His Profession

25. “I’m Dr. Zoidberg. I’m very important.”

26. “I don’t like the looks of this doctor. I bet I’ve lost more patients than he’s cured.”

27. “Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it and say ‘brglgrglgrrr!’”

28. “Don’t look into it, but I’m a respected internal medicine doctor.”

29. “You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from internal parasites?”

30. “I’ll have a look, but I remind you, I’m an expert on humans, not robots.”

31. “Nice try, little boy. You may have your textbook knowledge and your real diploma but I have more skill in my little claw than you have in your whole carapace!”

Interesting Dr. Zoidberg Quotes to Illustrate His Appetite

32. “They’re tastier than an unguarded penguin nest.”

33. “I ate garbage yesterday, and it didn’t cost me 300 dollars!”

34. “Ah, there’s nothing like the first cup of dumpster juice in the morning!”

35. “I saw a frilly cake in here you’d remember all your life. I know I will. Every night it haunts me with its frosted beauty. Order the cake, dammit!”

36. “Earth, what a planet! On Earth, you enjoy eating a tasty clam. On my planet, clams enjoy eating a tasty you!”

More Dr. Zoidberg Quotes for All Futurama Fans

37. “Sure, who’s brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere?”

38. “You don’t understand, he was the only one who cared enough to insult me! I’ll never see Hermes again!”

39. “We may not be perfect, but do we really want some new guy? I’ll stick with the evil maniac I know, thank you!”

40. “Okay, okay! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying one more couldn’t hurt, and then they were gone! We’re sorry!”

Did Dr. Zoidberg’s Unique Personality Pique Your Interest?

Dr. Zoidberg is a mumbling and clumsy doctor. Because of his unique traits, many of his colleagues avoid him and don’t entertain his ideas. However, regardless of how he is treated, he remains friendly and accommodating.

He was a very competent doctor for aliens, not humans. But, he was proud and wanted to prove others wrong. With his many attempts of getting close to others and proving himself, we’re able to see many great lines that make us think and laugh at the same time! 

This resulted in his fair share of valuable quotes and wisdom that remind us of Futurama’s best scenes. So, if you know someone who needs a pick-me-up, don’t forget to share these quotes with them to make their day brighter. 

Which of these Dr. Zoidberg quotes made you want to binge-watch Futurama? Do you have any quotes from him that you’d like to share? Please, share your thoughts in the comments section below!

Read Next:

Karen Danao

Hi, I’m Karen, a content curator and writer for Quote Ambition; I’m also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, I’m someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics I love writing about! However, my true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.

With the many places I’ve been to, I found that love, inspiration, and happiness are some things that bring people together. No matter how different we are on the outside, I’m a true believer that our emotions don’t lie; if you dig deep into our psyche, we’re all the same inside.

This belief was further amplified when I joined Quote Ambition. Through the quotes I’ve read, collected, organized, and written about, I found that humans are resilient, creative, and compassionate.

We take from each others’ hearts and courage, and it’s through our individual experiences that we learn how to rise above our challenges and pain. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere!

You can find me on MuckRack and LinkedIn.