This Redditor would not let anyone treat her less than she deserves. So, when her boyfriend acted like he was ashamed of her, she immediately upped and left!
Two Different Worlds
OP (Original Poster) has a job in an elementary school, while her boyfriend of nine months, Donnie, works as a pediatrician.
She said he’s “sweet” and “made her feel happy” whenever they were together. However, they recently encountered a hiccup or a “minor conflict.”
Given OP and her boyfriend’s schedules, they hardly saw each other. He said he had been missing OP lately and asked her to visit.
Since her schedule was packed, she only got to visit her boyfriend the day before this story was posted.
Interrupted Date Night
When OP arrived, they sat in his living room and planned to have dinner together. Donnie stood up to make coffee when his doorbell rang around 13 minutes after she arrived.
Donnie peeked through the hole, returned, and asked OP to get up and follow him to the kitchen.
She asked why he was asking her to do so, but he didn’t reply.
When they got to the kitchen, OP’s boyfriend said his two friends from work, who are also doctors, had come to visit. He then asked OP to “sit tight” for a few minutes until his guests left.
OP couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just meet them.
She wrote, “I was confused. I asked why not let me just meet them, and he said, ‘No, not like this,’ and asked me not to come out of the kitchen until they left, then went to welcome them.”
One Hour In
OP “sat still waiting” as an hour passed by. After waiting an hour, she called Donnie, but he didn’t answer.
I Don’t Deserve This!
She started feeling uncomfortable and said she couldn’t wait anymore after she was “ignored like that.” OP immediately grabbed her purse, walked out of Donnie’s kitchen, and told him she got “bored” of waiting for his friends to leave.
OP turned around, walked out the door, and immediately felt upset.
Donnie was stunned at what OP just did, and so were his friends. Later, he called OP and said she was “disrespectful and rude.”
OP wrote, “He said he asked me this one favor, and I didn’t do it.”
However, OP told her boyfriend that what he did was upsetting.
She shared, “I left because of the treatment I received. No matter how much he told me to make myself at home, I was still a guest, and I was made to feel like I was less than his doctor friends.”
OP shared that she and Donnie met publicly and had already met Donnie’s family, as well as other people he knew. However, none of those she met were in the same field he was in; this made her feel like he was ashamed of her.
Donnie, however, had some excuses. She shared, “He claimed that they were talking about stuff I wouldn’t understand, and I’d feel awkward sitting there not knowing what they were talking about.”
You’re Not a Guest
Donnie then tried to deny OP’s pain and “swore it wasn’t like that.” He said that he “considered himself lucky” to have known OP but remained firm in his belief that what she did was “not cool,” and leaving the way she did and saying what she said in front of his friends was “wrong of her.”
OP wrote, “He said I should’ve made myself busy making dinner in the kitchen instead of waiting until his friends leave since we agreed to eat dinner together, but I ruined our plans.”
What Redditors Think of the Issue
For the community, OP didn’t deserve to be treated this way by her boyfriend.
One said, “He’s either ashamed of you, or he’s got a girlfriend at work. This isn’t a minor issue; it’s a deal breaker. I hope he’s your ex now. Not the a**hole.” One woman commented, “Not the a**hole. He is waving all the red flags, and you’d be stupid to ignore them.”
You Need to Leave That Relationship
Users also couldn’t understand how disgusting Donnie acted, especially when he expected her to make them dinner while hiding her away.
This Redditor wrote, “She was supposed to be making him dinner too while hiding out of sight? What the f***! Anybody with an ounce of pride in themselves needs to dump that a**hole!”
Another person said, “He didn’t even say anything about dinner when he was hiding her away. He made it sound like they’d be gone soon. Is she supposed to be psychic? And what if the coworkers heard her working in the kitchen and started smelling delicious food? Wouldn’t that make them curious about who’s in there? Oh, is the dinner for us too? It turns out she only made enough for two—now he’s mad she didn’t psychically know to make enough for four! She can’t win in this situation. He didn’t want her heard or seen, and he was trying to cover by blaming her for not starting dinner. What an a**.”
You’re Better off Without Him!
People reassured OP that leaving the relationship might be her best decision.
“I came here to point out the fact that he expected her to ‘busy herself’ in service of him while he ‘talked about things she wouldn’t understand’ with a bunch of doctors. That’s stepping way out of line. The audacity is through the ceiling, and I hope she doesn’t come back to his kitchen again,” wrote one woman.
Another commented, “If hiding her away like some shameful secret wasn’t enough of a deal breaker on its own, him suggesting she should have just played housewife and cooked him dinner while he’s busy pretending like she doesn’t even exist is enough to dump this man on his sorry a** this very second and never speak to him again. He doesn’t respect you, OP. At all. You deserve better.”
Should OP break up with Donnie? How would you comfort her?
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This post first appeared as Her Boyfriend Made Her Sit in the Kitchen by Herself for an Hour When His Friends Came Over. She’s Had Enough and Left. Now He Calls Her “Disrespectful and Rude!” on Quote Ambition.