This Redditor always had an abrasive relationship with her mother but let her move in with her years later as an adult. When her mom tried to kick her sister out, she booted her instead!
Difficult Childhood
OP (Original Poster) is a 35-year-old woman who has lived on her own since she was 18 years old. Her mother started “counting down the years” to OP’s 18th birthday as soon as she turned 10 years old.
Many unfortunate things happened between OP and her mom when she was between the ages of 10 and 18 that made their relationship horribly strained. Her mother mainly dealt with disagreements with OP by “looking through” her or “refusing to speak” to her for days or weeks at a time.
You’re an Adult Now
On OP’s 18th birthday, her mother called and told her to get her things. She’d been kicked out of her home—just like that!
After that, OP only ever lived with her mother when it became absolutely necessary, such as when she was saving money to try and go back to school. When she did live with her mother, she always made sure to pay rent.
Doing Well for Herself
Years later, OP found a large house for her mom and her sibling to move into in the city she currently lives in. That way, they could all live together.
OP wanted to help her sister because she understood how challenging life can be. Her younger sister, 19, is an artist who attended language classes while also working on their portfolio for university admission.
Past Repeating Itself
OP’s mother had recently begun to treat her sister the same way she had treated OP when she was younger. When OP tried to interfere, she was told to “stay out of it.”
Different and Alike at Once
She respected that request because she knew she was “very different” from her sister, and she had hoped her mother would treat her sibling “more kindly.” After all, her mother and sister were “very much alike.”
Avoiding Drama
At some point, OP noted that her being in the house was starting to cause conflict, so she began to spend most of her time at her boyfriend’s house. He only lived down the street from her house, so she’d be able to help whenever they needed assistance.
Skewed Judgment
Then, out of nowhere, OP’s mother texted her and demanded that her sister move in with her and her boyfriend. She ended the text by stating she “trusted she’d be willing to have her come live with her.”
Where’s the Cinnamon?
OP was obviously dumbstruck and had to dig into the cause behind this sudden explosion of family drama. Apparently, her sister hadn’t managed to answer a text message or phone call “in under nine minutes,” and their mother had banned her sister from using any kitchen spices without permission.
It seemed OP’s sister had accidentally misplaced some cinnamon, so their mother had a meltdown over this.
Trying to Speak Up
OP’s sister tried to stick up for herself by pointing out that to cook the daily dinners she was in charge of, she’d have to ask for permission to use anything in the kitchen. In response, their mother had tried to kick her out of OP’s house, which infuriated and “triggered” OP.
Lease Arrangements
Truth be told, OP couldn’t believe her mother had tried to kick her sister out of the house that was leased to her name. The house in question had three bedrooms and two bathrooms, and her mother was currently residing in the fully furnished basement.
While her mother had been paying rent, her name was not on the lease. There also had never been any formal agreement between them.
The Final Straw
At this point, OP had finally had enough of her mother’s shenanigans. She told her she could “move back home” to where they were from and that she wasn’t allowed to kick her sibling out of her own home.
Bring up Rent
Both OP and her mom were high in their emotions at this point. OP shared, “She made a point that she would leave ‘my’ house where she pays rent.”
OP couldn’t care less, though. She’d lived in the house by herself before her mother or sister moved in, and she’d be able to pay the rent all on her own if need be.
Past Trauma
OP noted that she was “clearly furious” because she’d dealt with being kicked out of a home at her sister’s age but had far fewer resources than her sister now had.
When OP had suffered through being kicked out at 18, she’d only had one friend willing to take her in at the time. Unfortunately, her friend’s parent was an alcoholic, so she had a lot of “housing instability” as she’d often have to leave during the worst nights when her friend’s parent indulged in their alcoholism.
Final Revenge
She has since struggled with whether she was in the wrong for kicking her mother out since she did contribute to the rent. However, she also wanted to protect her sibling’s “mental and emotional health.”
To end it all, OP noted she texted her mother on her birthday, asking her when she’d be leaving—it was the very same thing her mother had done to her all those years ago on her 18th birthday. She wrote, “Am I the a**hole for kicking her out even though she pays rent and telling her to leave on her birthday, same as she did me?”
The Community’s Take on the Matter
The community immediately leaped to OP’s defense. However, they also questioned her decision to let her mother move in with her after their turbulent past.
One user said, “Of course not the a**hole, but I question the decision ever to allow her to move in with you after the way you were treated. You owe her nothing more than the same notice that you would give any other tenant, but be prepared to take legal action.”
“Not the a**hole. Being forced to protect your sibling from your own parents sucks, and good on you for doing it,” said another Redditor.
Too Good for Your Own Benefit
Redditors commented that OP was too good to even offer a space for her mom. If it were them in OP’s shoes, they’d go as far as they could from OP’s mom!
A woman shared, “What the f*** is wrong with you? Of course, you’re not the a**hole. I don’t understand how you would let your mother live with you in the first place. Your sibling could live with you without your mother.”
“Not the a**hole. After being able to get away with treating your sister badly recently and you staying out of it, your mother became overconfident and overplayed her hand, thinking that she could push you all out, with no concern for your sister or you, believing you’d all just take it as you had been. She was wrong. She upset the already delicate balance and ended up tipping herself out of the house through her own behavior. She would have only gotten worse if you hadn’t,” said one user.
What do you think? Was OP the jerk for kicking her mother out, or was it the mother who was in the wrong?
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This Redditor always had an abrasive relationship with her mother but let her move in with her years later as an adult. When her mom tried to kick her sister out, she booted her instead!
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This post first appeared as She Kicked Her Emotionally Abusive Mom Out After She Tried to Boot Her Sister Out of a House That Wasn’t Even Hers. She Paid Rent, but It’s Not Enough to Justify Her Horrible Actions! on Quote Ambition.
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