This user had a sister who held her wedding on her birthday and then didn’t invite her. Now, she wonders if she’d be a jerk if she did the same thing back to her sister!
Estranged Sisters
OP (Original Poster) is a 26-year-old woman with a 44-year-old sister.
She came to Reddit with a moral dilemma: should she do to her sister what her sister had done to her many years ago?
In the Beginning
Because of how much older OP’s sister is and the fact that her sister moved out at the age of 17, they never lived in the same house growing up. So, they never talked much, apart from “few and far between phone calls and texts.”
Simply put, they didn’t have much of a sisterly relationship.
Attempt at Mending the Distance
The growing distance between OP and her sister bothered both of them.
They did what they could to try and deepen their relationship, but OP noted that “life is life, and it is what it is.” Their trying to get closer to each other never panned out how they wanted it to.
Wedding Bells
Later, her sister got engaged and decided to have her wedding on OP’s birthday.
Her sister chose OP’s birthday because she claimed it was a special day for her, as she’d gained a new sister that day.
Touching but Not
OP noted it’s a “sweet idea and all,” except for the fact that her sister didn’t invite her to the wedding! Worse yet, even after all these years, OP still has no clue why.
Everyone else in OP’s family was invited, so it was both “incredibly odd” and “hurtful” to be left out. OP went on to say that since she’s her only sister, she also feels regret that she was forced to miss such a special event that will likely never happen again.
Obsessing Over Why
It’s an injustice that has unendingly bothered OP. She loves her sister and dearly wishes she had been there to see their “beautiful wedding,” watch her sister walk down the aisle, and see her stand at the altar beside her husband.
Yet, for some “unknown reason,” her sister didn’t want her at the wedding that was scheduled on the same day as her birthday.
Spoken Dissatisfaction
OP did express her “dejection” over being left out. Yet her sister seemed unperturbed by the comment and merely changed the subject and refused to answer any of OP’s questions.
Dazed and Confused
She thought she had a decent, if not very close, relationship with her sister. They had never argued or fought.
At some point, OP even asked her sister once if she’d done something wrong to deserve not being invited, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
Tarnished Birthday
Now, every year on OP’s birthday, she’s stuck with the reminder of her sister’s “beautiful wedding” via Facebook posts and texts and how she wasn’t allowed to attend.
To put it simply, it’s ruined her birthday for her.
Building a New Life
Then, the year before this story was posted, OP eloped with her husband. Their initial plan was to handle the paperwork first and then hold a celebration later on.
OP felt it’d be “less stressful” that way, so they followed through and got married. She noted it was a “win-win.”
Spiteful Planning
Now, OP is looking at planning her wedding celebration. She’s considering having her wedding celebration on her sister’s birthday and not inviting her, just as her sister had done to her many years ago.
OP noted that she knows this plan is made “mostly out of spite.”
Inside Joke
However, OP doesn’t see this as “revenge.” Instead, she feels doing this will help her move past the hurt she feels about not being invited to her sister’s wedding.
She also thinks it might be “kinda funny” if they’d both “married on each other’s birthdays and didn’t invite each other.”
Taking It in Stride
OP believes that her sister would “see the humor” in it and wouldn’t have her feelings hurt. However, she did admit there was some uncertainty on this, as you can never truly know how a person will react to something.
A Carefree Husband
She’s asked her husband for his opinion on the matter, and he “doesn’t care” about the dates. He’s also fully aware of the history between OP and her sister.
In fact, her husband didn’t really want to invite OP’s sister, no matter what day they held it on.
Questioning Perceptions
She’s dead set on her plans. However, she can’t escape the doubts plaguing her mind.
OP ended by stating, “Now, every time I think about it, I’m wondering if I am simply being too petty here.”
Redditors’ Two Cents
Redditors quickly flocked to the comments section to assure OP that she wasn’t being petty enough and that her sister definitely didn’t have good intentions by not inviting her to the wedding.
One user said, “Not the a**hole. She had the intention to hurt you and chose your birthday so your family couldn’t celebrate with you. Every year, she gets to overshadow your birthday. She can screw off. Don’t invite her to your wedding.”
“Be petty for us all, lol. No way in hell she didn’t deliberately pick your birthday and omit inviting you. What a b****,” said another Redditor.
What a Brilliant Mind!
Others flocked to the comments section to show OP how amazed they were by her idea.
One user wrote, “I think your idea is brilliant and is a perfect tit-for-tat petty revenge—so on her birthday, you post pictures and celebrate your marriage! Not the a**hole. I love a good revenge plot. Do it because you know it will give her intestinal distress!”
Someone else said, “Not the a**hole. Payback’s a b**** sometimes. You are not being too petty, and I hope you have a wonderful celebration with great pictures that can show up on your sister’s feed every year!”
Should OP do it? Would OP be an a**hole if she didn’t invite her sister to her wedding, or does she have every right to exact her revenge?
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This post first appeared as Her Sister Scheduled Her Wedding on Her Birthday and Refused to Invite Her. So, Years Later, She’s Doing the Same to Return the Favor! Was She Being a Petty Jerk? on Quote Ambition.
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