25 Napoleon Dynamite Quotes to Keep You Laughing All Day

We’re sure your day will get a lot brighter once you’ve read all these Napoleon Dynamite quotes we’ve gathered for you.

Napoleon Dynamite is the title character of this unique coming-of-age movie. Because he’s socially awkward, many kids in his school bully him.

The movie’s central theme might make people think that Napoleon Dynamite glorifies bullying. However, instead of that, it celebrates all the misfits, nerds, and outcasts.

The movie anchors itself on comedy, and it worked in their favor as Napoleon Dynamite is a cult classic we’ll keep going back to for years to come.

We have the best quotes from the movie in this list. So, make sure you don’t miss the most iconic Napoleon Dynamite quotes!

Let’s start!

And make sure to read these Uncle Rico quotes and Office Space quotes.

Best Napoleon Dynamite Quotes 

1. Grandma Carlinda Dynamite: “How was school?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “The worst day of my life, what do you think?”

2. Kid on the Bus: “What are you going to do today, Napoleon?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!”

3. Pedro Sánchez: “Do you think people will vote for me?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Heck yes! I’d vote for you.”

Pedro Sánchez: “Like, what are my skills?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Well, you have a sweet bike. And you’re really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you’re like the only guy at school who has a mustache.”

4. Deborah Bradshaw: “What are you drawing?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “A liger.”

Deborah Bradshaw: “What’s a liger?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed—bred for its skills in magic.”

5. Napoleon Dynamite: “Stay home and eat all the freaking chips, Kip.”

Kip Dynamite: “Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I’m training to become a cage fighter.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.”

Kip Dynamite: “Try and hit me, Napoleon.”

6. “I don’t even have any good skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!” – Napoleon Dynamite

7. “I see you’re drinking one percent. Is that ’cause you think you’re fat? ‘Cause you’re not. You could totally be drinking whole if you wanted to.” – Napoleon Dynamite

8. “You think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.” – Kip Dynamite

9. Uncle Rico Dynamite: “I wish you wouldn’t look at me like that, Napoleon.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “I wish you’d get out of my life and shut up!”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “Let me tell you about something. While you’re out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is making 120 bucks.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “I could make that much money in five seconds!”

Kip Dynamite: “Geez, yeah right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today.”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “Napoleon, it looks like you don’t have a job. So why don’t you go out there and feed Tina?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Why don’t you go eat a decroded piece of crap!”

Funny Napoleon Dynamite Quotes to Make You Smile

10. Napoleon Dynamite: “Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my ChapStick?”

Kip Dynamite: “No, Napoleon.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “But my lips hurt real bad!”

Kip Dynamite: “Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “I’m not gonna use hers, you sicko!”

11. Don: “Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!”

Don: “Did you shoot any?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Yes, like 50 of ’em! They kept trying to attack my cousins; what the heck would you do in a situation like that?!”

Don: “What kind of gun did you use?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “A freaking’ 12-gauge, what do you think?!”

12. “Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner! Tina, eat. Food. Eat the food.” – Napoleon Dynamite

13. Don: “Hey, Napoleon. Did you wet the bed last night?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Hey, Don. Did you take a dump in your bed last night?”

Don: “I could kick your butt, Napoleon, so I’d shut up.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Why don’t you go tell your mom to shut up?”

Don: “What did you just say?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Whatever I feel like I wanna say!”

Don: “Did you just say something about my mom?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t!”

Don: “Do you wanna die, Napoleon?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Yeah, right. Who’s the only one here who knows illegal ninja moves from the government?”

14. Uncle Rico Dynamite: “What about your girlfriend?”

Kip Dynamite: “Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day, so I guess you could say things are gettin’ pretty serious.”

15. “Sure, the world wide web is great, but you, you make me salivate.” – Kip Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite Quotes That’ll Make You Giggle

16. Napoleon Dynamite: “Who are you?”

LaFawnduh Lucas: “I’m Lafawnduh.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “What are you doing here?”

LaFawnduh Lucas: “I’m waiting for Kip. Why are you so sweaty?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Been practicing.”

LaFawnduh Lucas: “Practicing what?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “My dance moves.”

17. Deborah Bradshaw: “And here we have some boondoggle keychains, a must-have for the season’s fashion.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “I’ve already made like an infinity of those at Scout camp.”

Deborah Bradshaw: “Well, is anyone else here? I’m trying to earn money for college.”

Kip Dynamite: “Your mom goes to college!”

18. Napoleon Dynamite: “Well, what is there to eat?”

Grandma Carlinda Dynamite: “Knock it off, Napoleon! Make yourself a dang quesadilla.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Fine!”

19. Uncle Rico Dynamite: “Back in ’82, I used to be able to toss a pigskin a quarter of a mile.”

Kip Dynamite: “Are you serious?”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “I’m dead serious.”

20. Teacher: “Your current event, Napoleon.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Last week, Japanese scientists explaced—placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland’s local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its residents, and all those who seek a peaceful existence with our underwater ally.”

More Napoleon Dynamite Quotes for a Day Full of Fun

21. Napoleon Dynamite: “How long did it take you to grow that mustache?”

Pedro Sánchez: “A couple of days.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “I wish I could grow one.”

22. Kip Dynamite: “So how long are we talking about working?”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “What, are you already losing your steam?”

Kip Dynamite: “No, I just—I have a chat room meeting at four. I gotta be back here by then.”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “Alright, you just start a little earlier, that’s all. Or else work afterward. How long is the chat room?”

Kip Dynamite: “Geez, sometimes up to three or four hours maybe, maybe not.”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “You pay the bills for that? Does that cost money every time you’re on, like for minutes on the phone?”

Kip Dynamite: “Yeah, Grandma’s still paying per minute. She gets kinda pissed at me sometimes ’cause I’m on there so long.”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “I bet she does. I’ll tell you something, I’d be throwing you out the window.”

23. Napoleon Dynamite: “So me and you are pretty much friends by now, right?”

Pedro Sánchez: “Yes.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “So you got my back and everything?”

Pedro Sánchez: “What?”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Never mind.”

24. Randy: “Napoleon, give me some of your tots.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “No, go find your own.”

Randy: “Come on. Give me some of your tots.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “No. I’m freakin’ starved. I didn’t get to eat anything today. Ugh. Gross. Freakin’ idiot!”

25. Napoleon Dynamite: “Grandma just called and said you’re supposed to go home.”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “She didn’t tell me anything.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Too bad. She said she doesn’t want you here when she gets back because you’ve been ruining everybody’s lives and eating all our steak.”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “I’m not goin’ anywhere, Napoleon.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Get off my property!”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “It’s a free country. I can do whatever I want.”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Get off my property, or I’ll call the cops on you.”

Uncle Rico Dynamite: “Well then do it! Go on!”

Napoleon Dynamite: “Maybe I will, gosh!”

What’s Your First Impression of Napoleon Dynamite?

Though many love Napoleon Dynamite, there are a lot of people who get confused about its storyline. For example, a character might be introduced at one point, but you won’t see that character again for a long time. Because of this, viewers can’t really get a grasp of where the plot is going.

However, though that’s the case, let’s remember the movie’s main anchor. In Napoleon Dynamite, we see a depiction of how outcasts are treated in American high schools. Bullying is everywhere in the world, and the movie allows us to understand misfits’ feelings a bit more.

The humanness of Napoleon also shines through. In one of the scenes, we see himself trying to stand up to one of his bullies—Don. Whether or not he succeeded is not that important; we should be praising him for trying to defend himself.

Another point worth mentioning is that Napoleon found friends in school, too. There’s nothing wrong with being a nerd; we just have to find people who will accept us for who we are. So, through Napoleon Dynamite, we also learn that we shouldn’t change who we are just to be accepted by society; no matter what we do, not everyone will like us 100% anyway.

Napoleon Dynamite is truly a gem! It’ll make you laugh out loud, but you’ll be surprised by the meaningful messages you can learn from. Keep this list in your bookmarks for when you need another dose of these lessons!