50 Old Gregg Quotes on How Life Is Like Living in a Cave

If you’re looking for one-of-a-kind and memorable Old Gregg quotes, you’ve come to the right place.

Old Gregg is a well-known character from the British television series, The Mighty Boosh.

The anatomy and species classification of Old Gregg could be a point of controversy. He has green skin, seaweed hair, webbed hands, and female genitalia.

Examine his personality and learn about his sub-aquatic cave lifestyle.

Fill your mind with exciting and intriguing fantasies through this collection.

Read the full collection here. 

Best Old Gregg Quotes

1. “I like you. What do you think of me?” – Old Gregg 

2. “Maybe I should ask you the same question—what you doing in my waters?” – Old Gregg 

3. “Gregg’s place. You’ve been asleep. Do you want a little drinky? I’ll get you a drink. You like Bailey’s? Mmmm—creamy. Soft, creamy beige.” – Old Gregg 

4. “It’s attached to your rod, mother licker!” – Old Gregg 

5. “Thank you, sir. I got some more. I got these too. That one’s Bailey’s a bit bigger. And that one’s as close as you can get to Bailey’s without your eyes getting wet.” – Old Gregg 

6. “Easy now, fuzzy little man-peach, hmm? You ever drunk Bailey’s from a shoe?” – Old Gregg 

7. “I’m Old Gregg. Pleased to meet you.” – Old Gregg 

8. “Wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?” – Old Gregg 

9. “Why are you going? We got everything we need here. We got Bailey’s cream. And everything we need. I’ll get you another Bailey’s.” – Old Gregg 

10. “Come on, don’t make me beg now, ‘cause I’m not your regular guy! Don’t be shy! Do you love me?” – Old Gregg 

11. “Don’t lie to me, boy.” – Old Gregg 

12. “I know what you’re thinking, ‘Here comes Old Gregg. He’s a scaly man-fish.’ You don’t know me. You don’t know what I got. I got something to show you. You know what that is? That’s Old Gregg’s v*g*n*. I’ve got a mangina! I’m Old Gregg!” – Old Gregg 

13. “We could do some watercolors together, you and I.” – Old Gregg 

14. “Do you like Old Gregg’s place? I’ve got all things that are good.” – Old Gregg 

15. “I’ve got this. This is good.” – Old Gregg 

Amusing Old Gregg Quotes

16. “Maybe I’ll deal with it the way I dealt with Curly Jefferson.” – Old Gregg 

17. “Then he realized it was a funky ball of t*ts from outer space!” – Old Gregg 

18. “You’re like a breadstick, ya got no rhythm!” – Old Gregg 

19. “It’s about the size of a medicine ball, but covered in t*ts.” – Old Gregg 

20. “I took Home Economics, I got an A+. I did a crumble. Teacher said mine was the best one.” – Old Gregg 

21. “You know me, hmm? What about the boat times?” – Old Gregg 

22. “I’m gonna hurt you.” – Old Gregg 

23. “That was our first date, hmm? You pulled me up with your strong arms!” – Old Gregg 

24. “I do watercolors.” – Old Gregg 

25. “Then how come this hook’s in my head, fool?” – Old Gregg 

26. “Let me show you something. I call that one Old Gregg. And then that one I call Old Gregg. And this one, you know what I call that one?” – Old Gregg 

27. “Oh, you know me. You’ve seen my downstairs mix-up.” – Old Gregg 

28. “Some say Old Gregg is like a big fish finger. But big, like, as in a garage. Imagine a fish finger as big as a garage!” – Old Gregg 

29. “Do you love me? Are you playin’ your love games with me? I just want to know what to do, because I need your love a lot. Oh, come on now.” – Old Gregg 

30. “Make an assessment.” – Old Gregg 

Passionate Old Gregg Quotes

31. “Could you learn to love me?” – Old Gregg 

32. “What did it mean to you to see that? Did it mean you love me?” – Old Gregg 

33. “You think you could ever love me?” – Old Gregg 

34. “You love me, and you’ve seen me, and you know me. I’m Old Gregg!” – Old Gregg 

35. “You must love me exactly as I love you.” – Old Gregg 

More Old Gregg Quotes From the Show You’ll Love

36. “Who are you?” – Howard Moon

37. “You do love me.” – Old Gregg 

38. “Don’t kill me. I’ve got so much to give.” – Howard Moon

39. “Why can’t we do it now?” – Old Gregg

40. “You’ve done some nice things with it.” – Howard Moon

41. “What do you mean?” – Old Gregg

42. “Mmm, that is quite a portfolio you’ve got going on there. But I really should be heading off, so it’s been good.” – Howard Moon

43. “Well, you know, I’m a busy man, Gregg. You know, I got things to do. Howard Moon—man about town.” – Howard Moon

44. “Umm, gonna have to pretend I didn’t hear that, Gregg.” – Howard Moon

45. “Well, you get to know someone, you hang out, you see where that goes. This, that, the other, eventually—you know. I don’t know you!” – Howard Moon

46. “How does it work? Tell me how it works.” – Old Gregg

47. “Just taking the air, you know. Not fishing!” – Howard Moon

48. “Yes, sir.” – Old Gregg

49. “Well, is this the way out? Uhm, I better be scootin’. Got meetings and a friend of mine is waiting, so perhaps I should be—.” – Howard Moon

50. “I think you’re a nice, modern gentleman.” – Howard Moon

Which of These Old Gregg Quotes Made Your Day?

Some say Old Gregg is half man and half fish, while others say it’s more of a 70/30 split. He can walk upright, but occasionally reverts to a frog-like crouch. In the story, Old Gregg eventually found himself in a deep chamber beneath Black Lake.

Howard Moon is kidnapped by the local terror and legend, Old Gregg—a cave-dwelling part-fish, part-man merged. Gregg’s mangina, which can emit a blinding light with neurally disruptive properties, knocks Howard out.

Old Gregg’s character and story are really unconventional. However, you’ll surely find some entertainment by watching the show and reading his best lines. 

Have you watched the show before? Do you have any Old Gregg quotes to share? Comment down below!


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Amy Finn

Hi. I'm Amy, the founder of this blog. I love quotes and enjoy sharing the best ones with you.

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