30 Spaceballs Quotes From This Iconic & Hilarious Parody

Buckle up for Spaceballs quotes that’ll make you laugh at ludicrous speed!

Parodies are tricky to make because there’s a fine line between being funny and offensive. However, Spaceballs did a perfect job of mixing and matching different elements from our favorite movie franchises.

Spaceballs was directed, produced, and co-written by Mel Brooks, which already speaks volumes about the kind of masterpiece it is. But, it’s even more memorable and relatable because it’s a parody of Star Wars, Star Trek, The Wizard of Oz, Transformers, Planet of the Apes, and more!

These are all movies that have embedded themselves in our hearts. So, having glimpses of them and their characters in Spaceballs really hit the spot!

Spaceballs and its way of echoing our favorite movies rope us into watching it over and over again. It also brings out our sense of humor in almost every scene and line!

So, if you need something to boost your energy for the day, you’ve come to the right place. Read the funniest Spaceballs quotes from Dark Helmet, Yogurt, and more below!

And don’t forget to check out these Young Frankenstein quotes and Blazing Saddles quotes.

Best Spaceballs Quotes

1. “So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.” – Dark Helmet

2. “May the Schwartz be with you!” – Yogurt

3. Colonel Sandurz: “Prepare ship for light speed.”

Dark Helmet: “No, no, no, light speed is too slow.”

Colonel Sandurz: “Light speed, too slow?”

Dark Helmet: “Yes, we’re gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed.”

4. “Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs the T-shirt, Spaceballs the Coloring Book, Spaceballs the Lunch box, Spaceballs the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs the Flame Thrower. The kids love this one. And last but not least, Spaceballs the Doll—me.” – Yogurt

5. “Helmet. So, at last, we meet for the first time for the last time.” – Lone Starr

6. “I’ve lost the bleeps, I’ve lost the sweeps, and I’ve lost the creeps.” – Michael Winslow

7. “So the combination is one, two, three, four, five? That’s the stupidest combination I ever heard in my life! That’s the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!” – Dark Helmet

8. Princess Vespa: “Now listen to you—.”

Lone Starr: “You listen. On this ship, you’re to refer to me as ‘Idiot’, not, ‘You captain’. I mean—you know what I mean.”

Princess Vespa: “And you will not call me, ‘You’. You will never address me as, ‘You’. You will call me, ‘Your Royal Highness.’”

Lone Starr: “You are a royal pain in the—.”

Barf: “Whoa, hold it, time.”

9. “Look, Your Highness, it’s not that we’re afraid. Far from it. It’s just that we got this thing about death. It’s not us.” – Barf

Famous Quotes From Spaceballs

10. Lone Starr: “I wonder, will we ever see each other again?”

Yogurt: “Who knows? God willing, we’ll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.”

11. “Spaceballs? Forget it; too dangerous. Besides, I’m already numero uno on Dark Helmet’s hit list.” – Lone Starr

12. “You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let’s see how well you handle it.” – Dark Helmet

13. Colonel Sandurz: “But, sir, your ring! Don’t you have the Schwartz too?”

Dark Helmet: “Nah, he got the upside, I got the downside. See there’s two sides to every Schwartz.”

14. “What’s the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?” – Dark Helmet

15. Barf: “I know we need the money, but—.”

Lone Starr: “Listen! We’re not just doing this for money! We’re doing it for a shit-load of money!”

Funny Spaceballs Quotes to Make You Laugh

16. Dot Matrix: “How far did he get? What did he touch? What did he touch?”

Princess Vespa: “Nothing happened.”

Lone Starr: “What the hell was that noise?”

Dot Matrix: “That was my Virgin Alarm. It’s programmed to go off before you do.”

17. “There’s only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: Lone Starr!” – Dark Helmet

18. Lone Starr: “Who hasn’t heard of Yogurt?”

Princess Vespa: “Yogurt the Wise!”

Dot Matrix: “Yogurt the All-Powerful!”

Barf: “Yogurt the Magnificent!”

Yogurt: “Please, please, don’t make a fuss. I’m just plain Yogurt.”

19. “What have I done?! My brains are going into my feet!” – Dark Helmet

20. Dark Helmet: “Knock on my door! Knock next time!”

Colonel Sandurz: “Yes, sir!”

Dark Helmet: “Did you see anything?”

Colonel Sandurz: “No, sir! I didn’t see you playing with your dolls again.”

Dark Helmet: “Good!”

Spaceballs Quotes and Lines That Are Stuck in Our Heads

21. Dark Helmet: “What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?”

Colonel Sandurz: “Now. You’re looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.”

Dark Helmet: “What happened to then?”

Colonel Sandurz: “We passed then.”

Dark Helmet: “When?”

Colonel Sandurz: “Just now. We’re at now, now.”

22. “I knew it! I’m surrounded by *ssholes.” – Dark Helmet

23. “I’m a Mawg: half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.” – Barf

24. “Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don’t mean your pals in the Winnebago.” – Dark Helmet

25. “Buckle up back there; we’re going into Hyperactive!” – Lone Starr

Spaceballs Quotes That’ll up Your Energy

26. Dark Helmet: “Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.”

Lone Starr: “What?”

Dark Helmet: “I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.”

Lone Starr: “What’s that make us?”

Dark Helmet: “Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.”

27. “Excuse me, I’m trying to conduct a wedding here, which has nothing to do with love! Please be quiet!” – The Minister

28. “Out of order? F*ck! Even in the future, nothing works!” – Dark Helmet

29. “Now we’ll show her who is in charge of this galaxy.” – Dark Helmet

30. “No, no, no. Go past this. Pass this part. In fact, never play this again.” – Dark Helmet

Which Spaceballs Quotes Made You Laugh the Most?

Parodies hold a special place in our hearts because they make light of otherwise boring or serious situations. If we’re watching a parody, then there’s almost no way we won’t laugh at least once throughout the movie.

However, out of all parodies out there, Spaceballs might just take the number one spot! This is because they incorporate elements from our favorite movies with wit, comedy, and humor that we can’t get anywhere else.

Spaceballs is primarily a parody of the Star Wars trilogy, but there’s no doubt you can relive your other favorites through it, too! Even when you feel down, just reading a line from this collection will no doubt fill you with energy!

With that, we hope this list we’ve created was able to help you boost your mood for the day. Dark Helmet, Yogurt, and the other characters will have no problems making you smile at ludicrous speed!

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Karen Danao

Hi, I’m Karen, a content curator and writer for Quote Ambition; I’m also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, I’m someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics I love writing about! However, my true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.

With the many places I’ve been to, I found that love, inspiration, and happiness are some things that bring people together. No matter how different we are on the outside, I’m a true believer that our emotions don’t lie; if you dig deep into our psyche, we’re all the same inside.

This belief was further amplified when I joined Quote Ambition. Through the quotes I’ve read, collected, organized, and written about, I found that humans are resilient, creative, and compassionate.

We take from each others’ hearts and courage, and it’s through our individual experiences that we learn how to rise above our challenges and pain. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere!

You can find me on MuckRack and LinkedIn.