Find some relatable advice on love from these Wedding Crashers quotes we’ve gathered.
Love, marriage, and divorce are all different topics, but they are all related to each other in some way. In Wedding Crashers, we see these three topics intertwine as two divorce mediators try to crash weddings and seduce women. However, in a twist of fate, they also learn about true love!
They make up a bunch of rules that are no doubt hilarious. Although funny, some of them hold some truth we can all relate to and learn from.
What’s more, they have many quotes you can say under just about any circumstance! So, if you want to know more about these two friends’ adventures or if you want to get some meaningful words of wisdom on love, this list is perfect.
And make sure to check out these Tommy Boy quotes and Mean Girls quotes.
Best Wedding Crashers Quotes
1. “True love is the soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.” – Claire Cleary
2. “You know how they say we only use 10% of our brains? I think we only use 10 % of our hearts.” – John Beckwith
3. “Love doesn’t exist; that’s what I’m trying to tell you guys. And I’m not picking on love, ’cause I don’t think friendship exists either.” – John Beckwith
4. Jeremy Grey: “How many times you gonna do this sh*t? Rule #32: You don’t commit to a relative unless you’re absolutely positive they have a pulse.”
John Beckwith: “Rule #16: Give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot.”
Jeremy Grey: “Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!”
5. Gloria Cleary: “My father warned me about people like you, Jeremy. I’m just another notch on your belt.”
Jeremy Grey: “What are you talking about? It’s not like that.”
Gloria Cleary: “Then what’s it like, Jeremy?”
Jeremy Grey: “No, wait! I just feel very strongly that we’re starting only to express ourselves in a physically sexual specifically way, and I just want to play some catch-up on finding who’s inside here.”
Gloria Cleary: “Jeremy, you’re amazing.”
Jeremy Grey: “I think you’re amazing.”
Gloria Cleary: “Don’t ever leave me.”
Jeremy Grey: “Ever.”
Gloria Cleary: “Good. Because I’d find you.”
6. John Beckwith: “Sorry I’m late.”
Jeremy Grey: “No problem.”
John Beckwith: “I’m sorry I called you white trash.”
Jeremy Grey: “Apology accepted.”
John Beckwith: “And I’m sorry I called you hillbilly. I don’t even know what that means.”
Jeremy Grey: “John, it’s okay. Do you mind if I get married now?”
Funny Wedding Crashers Quotes for a Good Laugh
7. “Mom! The meatloaf! F*ck!” – Chazz Reinhold
8. “Share that with the Dalai Lama, jackass!” – Jeremy Grey
9. “Well, the guy wants to run for president; he thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease.” – William Cleary
10. Jeremy Grey: “I’ve been looking all over for you. I got to get outta here, pronto. I got a stage five clinger.”
John Beckwith: “No, no, I need more time.”
Jeremy Grey: “Did you hear what I just said to you? Stage five, virgin, clinger. Let’s go, I’m gonna start the car. I’m serious; let’s go. I don’t think you’re appreciating the urgency here. Not only is she a virgin, she’s totally off the reservation. I’m terrified of this broad.”
11. Jeremy Grey: “Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That’s got to be an interesting combination.”
Sack Lodge: “I hunt quail, Jeremy. They’re overpopulated in this region, and they’re decimating the grubworm population. You got a f*cking problem with that?”
Jeremy Grey: “Not nearly as much as I do with the attire that you have on, or just your general point of view towards everybody. But let’s go kill some birds. I’m psyched.”
12. John Beckwith: “Don’t waste your time on girls with hats. They tend to be very proper.”
Jeremy Grey: “Yeah? Well, the proper girl in the hat just eye-f*cked the sh*t out of me.”
John Beckwith: “Why don’t you say it a little louder? I don’t think the priest heard you.”
13. “I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You selfish son of a b*tch! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!” – Jeremy Grey
14. “I made you a painting. I call it ‘Celebration.’ It’s sexual and violent. I thought you might like it.” – Todd Cleary
15. John Beckwith: “What are you doing? It’s a game of touch; every time I look over, you’re on your *ss again.”
Jeremy Grey: “If I had air in my lungs, I’d scream at you.”
John Beckwith: “Oh, now you’re going to blame me because you’re not athletic enough to stay on your own two feet?”
Jeremy Grey: “I hate you.”
Wedding Crashers Quotes That’ll Forever Be Iconic
16. Todd Cleary: “Jeremy tried to seduce me! I want my painting back!”
Jeremy Grey: “The painting was a gift, Todd. I’m taking it with me.”
17. Jeremy Grey: “Completely different situation. She was a very, very family-oriented girl. And very into her grandmother.”
John Beckwith: “Yeah.”
Jeremy Grey: “That was my first Asian!”
18. John Beckwith: “How long have you and the Secretary been married?”
Kathleen Cleary: “Thirty years next April.”
John Beckwith: “That’s beautiful.”
Kathleen Cleary: “Yeah. And we were faithful for two of them.”
19. “I’m not perfect, but who are we kidding? Neither are you. And you want to know what? I dig it.” – Jeremy Grey
20. “So damn beautiful! With every death, there comes rebirth; it’s the circle of life. We’re gonna be alright.” – Chazz Reinhold
Wedding Crashers Quotes to Keep In Your Heart Forever
21. “A friend in need is a pest.” – Jeremy Grey
22. “Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal.” – Jeremy Grey
23. “You’re like that crazy guest who thinks he’s part of the family already.” – Claire Cleary
24. “Wow, getting a nice preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner here.” – Jeremy Grey
25. “Well, snap out of it! What, a hot older woman made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.” – Jeremy Grey
More Wedding Crashers Quotes for a Glimpse Into Their Hilarious Rules
26. Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something.
27. Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own.
28. Rule #6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention to you in a negative way.
29. Rule #39: The way to a woman’s bed is through the dance floor.
30. Rule #13: Bridesmaids are desperate: console them.
What’s Your Favorite Rule From Wedding Crashers?
John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey have a lot of things to say about life and love. Although mostly funny, if you try to understand their deeper meaning, you’ll be amazed by their relevance and applicability.
For one, Jeremy says, “I’m not perfect, but who are we kidding? Neither are you.” This is such a timeless and profound quote we should remember every day in our lives.
Often, we try to find perfection in everything—especially in our romantic partners. However, we are all human, and being human means you have flaws and imperfections. Does that mean you’re not perfect?
Perfection is relative, and if someone makes your heart feel warm and bubbly, then who’s to say you’re not meant to be together? Life and love are about giving and taking. They’re about two people complementing each other to compensate for the other’s flaws.
So, don’t strive for perfection. Just look for the person who will complete you in all senses of the word. With that, we hope this list of Wedding Crashers quotes was able to inspire you to find a love that will make your life worthwhile!