60 Wedding Crashers Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

Here are our favorite Wedding Crashers quotes that’ll brighten your day and teach you about life at the same time!

More than a decade after its release, Wedding Crashers is still the ultimate romantic comedy movie that we can all relate to. People of all ages still quote this film and share some great memes with their friends. Well, it’s no surprise since John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey’s characters were so relatable and hilarious.

But, the movie isn’t just something we turn to for amusement. It also contains some valuable life lessons which we can all apply in our day-to-day lives. So, if you want to find out what you can learn from it, keep on reading!

Continue to the full list below.

And make sure to check out these Tommy Boy quotes and Mean Girls quotes.

Best Wedding Crashers Quotes

1. “Grief is nature’s most powerful aphrodisiac.” – Chazz Reinhold

2. “So damn beautiful! With every death there comes rebirth, it’s the circle of life. We’re gonna be alright.” – Chazz Reinhold

3. “You know how they say we only use 10% of our brains? I think we only use 10% of our hearts.” – John Beckwith

4. “True love is your soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.” – John Beckwith

5. “Don’t waste your time on girls with hats. They tend to be very proper.” – John Beckwith

Wedding Crashers Quotes That Are Full of Wisdom

6. “This is the real world, lady! You can’t just go shooting people on a whim!” – Jeremy Grey

7. “I’m not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you.” – Jeremy Grey

8. “Sack, I’ve always liked you. So I put up with your stories about scallops and otters, and it’s all good because you seem to make her happy and that’s what matters to me most. But this is her decision. I stand by my daughter.” – Secretary Cleary

9. “It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions?” – Jeremy Grey

10. “Do you know what that awareness is, Gloria? That we’re all one. That separateness is an illusion, and that I’m one with everyone—with the Prime Minister of England, and my cousin Harry, you and me, the fat kid from ‘What’s Happening,’ the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman, the guy who wrote ‘Catcher in the Rye,’ Nat King Cole, Carrot Top, Jay-Z, Weird Al Yankovic, Harry Potter—if he existed—the wh*re on the street corner, your mother—we’re all one. – Jeremy Grey

Funny Wedding Crashers Quotes

11. “A friend in need is a pest.” – Jeremy Grey

12. “Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That’s got to be an interesting combination.” – Jeremy Grey

13. “I’m sorry I called you a hillbilly. I don’t even know what that meant.” – John Beckwith

14. “You’re like that crazy guest who thinks he’s part of the family already.” – Claire Cleary

15. “I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You selfish son of a b*tch! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!” – Jeremy Grey

16. “I made you a painting. I call it ‘Celebration.’ It’s sexual and violent. I thought you might like it.” – Todd Cleary

17. “I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?” – Jeremy Grey

18. “Okay, meet me at the back of the room. I’ll be the guy waiting to say I told you so.” – John Beckwith

19. “I’d like to be pimps from Oakland or cowboys from Arizona but it’s not Halloween. Grow up, Peter Pan, Count Chocula.” – John Beckwith

20. “I just had my t*ts done. You like ’em?” – Kathleen Cleary

Also read: Funny Quotes

Wedding Crashers Quotes for Everyone Who Needs a Good Laugh

21. “Wow, getting a nice preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner here.” – John Beckwith

22. “I’m a little too traumatized to have a scone.” – Jeremy Grey

23. “I almost nunchucked you; you don’t even realize!” – Chazz Reinhold

24. “Oh, that’s terrific! Why don’t you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.” – Jeremy Grey

25. “Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bull’s eye.” – Jeremy Grey

26. John Beckwith: “Jeremy, believe it or not, is getting married!”

Chazz Reinhold: “What? What an idiot! What a loser! Good! Good! More for you and me.”

27. John Beckwith: “What are you doing? It’s a game of touch, every time I look over you’re on your *ss again.”

Jeremy Grey: “If I had air in my lungs, I’d scream at you.”

John Beckwith: “Oh now you’re going to blame me because you’re not athletic enough to stay on your own two feet?”

Jeremy Grey: “I hate you.”

28. “I feel totally ridiculous. Like, why do I have to be in camouflage? So the big bad quail doesn’t see me?” – Jeremy Grey

29. Jeremy Grey: “That’s interesting John, that glass looks half full to me.”

John Beckwith: “Wow, now that you mention it, it is half full.”

Wedding Crashers Quotes That Will Tell You More About Love and Relationships

30. “Love doesn’t exist, that’s what I’m trying to tell you guys. And I’m not picking on love, ’cause I don’t think friendship exists either.” – John Beckwith

31. “I realized we’re all going to lose the people we love. That’s the way it is, but not me. Not right now. Because the person I love the most is standing right here and I’m not ready to lose you yet.” – John Beckwith

32. “But you know what? It also led me to you, so it’s hard for me to completely regret it. And that person that you met back at your folks’ place? That was really me. Maybe not my name—I’m John Beckwith, by the way. Or my job. But the feelings we felt—the jokes, the stupid laughs—that was all me. I’ve changed.” – John Beckwith

33. “She’s fit for a strait-jacket. This broad’s f*cked three ways towards the weekend. But you know what, Father? I dig it! It turns me on.” – Jeremy Grey

34. John Beckwith: “You can’t marry this guy.”

Claire Cleary: “Why?”

John Beckwith: “Because I’ve fallen for you.”

35. “Claire, I’m not standing here asking you to marry me, I’m just asking you not to marry him and maybe take a walk, take a chance.” – John Beckwith

36. “Gloria, I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching recently, and I think I’m ready to take this relationship—our relationship—to the next level.” – Jeremy Grey

37. “She’s all yours. I ain’t gonna fight you.” – John Beckwith

38. “Will you wait just a second? All I wanted was a second alone with you so I could explain things. But I’ve never gotten that chance. Maybe I don’t deserve it, so here goes. For longer than I care to remember, my business has been crashing weddings. I crashed weddings to meet girls. Business was good. I met a lot of girls. It was childish and it was juvenile.” – John Beckwith

39. “She hasn’t returned your phone calls, she hasn’t responded to any of your letters, she didn’t respond to the candygram. God knows what happened to the kitten you got for her. ‘Cause, she didn’t keep it, and I know you’re not raising the g*ddamn thing. I think it’s very obvious at this juncture that she just flat out does not wanna see you.” – Jeremy Grey

Memorable Wedding Crashers Quotes to Remind You of the Movie’s Greatest Scenes

40. “Death, you are my b*tch lover!” – Todd Cleary

41. “You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!” – Mrs. Kroeger

42. “Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal.” – Jeremy Grey

43. “Yeah! Crab cakes and football. That’s what Maryland does!” – Flip

44. “I’m just living the dream.” – Chazz Reinhold

45. “It’s a great band, it’s a bad band, it’s like pizza, baby.” – Jeremy Grey

46. “Hey, Ma! Can we get some meatloaf?” – Chazz Reinhold

47. “Buddy, for your own good, you gotta let this go.” – John Beckwith

48. “What are you going to do for an encore? Walk on water?” – John Beckwith

49. “Share that with the Dalai Lama, jackass!” – Jeremy Grey

Wedding Crashers Quotes and Rules to Better Understand the Plot

50. “Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket! Rule #115!” – Jeremy Grey

51. Jeremy Grey: “How many times you gonna do this sh*t? Rule #32: you don’t commit to a relative unless you’re absolutely positive they have a pulse.”

John Beckwith: “Rule #16: Give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot.”

Jeremy Grey: “Rule #76: no excuses. Play like a champion!”

52. “Wedding Crashers Rule #1: Never leave a fellow crasher behind.” – John Beckwith

53. “Wedding Crashers Rule #22: You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.” – Jeremy Grey 

54. “Wedding Crashers Rule #6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention to you in a negative way.” – Jeremy Grey

55. “Wedding Crashers Rule #115: Never walk away on a crasher in a funny jacket.” – Jeremy Grey

More Wedding Crashers Quotes for Your Enjoyment

56. “I’m just warming up. Last week, I did an exact balloon replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field. Honest to God. I don’t have anywhere to put it.” – Jeremy Grey

57. “Well, you know Gloria, she’s impetuous. Has to have what she wants, when she wants it. We had to give her a sweet 16 on her 13th birthday! – Secretary Cleary

58. “Oh, he says he believes in art, but all I’ve seen him do is dribble his own blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick!” – William Cleary

59. “All right I like my odds here. Let me give you a little warning, I’m going downtown. Look for me in the endzone after this play, I’ll be the guy holding the ball.” – John Beckwith

60. “All we’re trying to say is, put your swords away for a second. Let’s finish this and let’s move on.” – John Beckwith

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Are You Willing to Try Out Some Wedding Crashers Rules for the Next Gathering You’re Attending?

Let’s face it: weddings are an emotional roller coaster. When you’re in the middle of it, all your emotions seem to just go haywire. But, one thing remains true: weddings are fun because of the company, the food, the music, and of course, all the love in the air.

In the movie, the main characters perfectly encapsulated everything we love about weddings. But, aside from the usual things we look forward to, their primary goal was to find someone willing to have some fun. Of course, being gate crashers, they find themselves in some pretty sticky situations.

The series of events that followed was no doubt hilarious and exhilarating. But, more than that, John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey find themselves learning about life and love too!

Millions of people still love Wedding Crashers because of all the pearls of wisdom hidden behind the movie. It teaches us that to find genuine love, we have to be true to ourselves too. So, make sure you remember that nothing lasting and good will come to you if you live your life through lies and deception.

Have you watched Wedding Crashers before? Which quote reminded you of your favorite scenes? Join the discussion below!