Make your day a thousand times brighter by reading these Ace Ventura quotes we’ve rounded up!
There’s nothing more absurd than having a private detective just for missing animals. But, this is the hook that Ace Ventura went with. This, coupled with Jim Carrey’s portrayal of our favorite pet detective, made this movie a timeless classic that we’ll never stop loving.
In the 1994 movie, Ace Ventura was tasked to find the mascot of the Miami Dolphins football team, which was abducted. The bottlenose dolphin, Snowflake, suddenly went missing before the Super Bowl.
Ace Ventura went through countless ups and downs in his investigation. He even poses as a potential patient of a mental institution! Truly, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is a comedic masterpiece none could ever top!
So, read on if you want to laugh out loud or make your day brighter. We’ve gathered the best Ace Ventura quotes you can repeat over and over again!
Best Ace Ventura Quotes
1. “Lovely party. Pity I wasn’t invited.” – Ace Ventura
2. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” – Ace Ventura
3. Dan Marino: “Hey, Ace?”
Ace Ventura: “Yeah, Dan?”
Dan Marino: “You got any more of that gum?”
Ace Ventura: “That’s none of your damn business, and I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs,”
Dan Marino: “You’re a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy.”
4. “Be careful with that phone, Lieutenant. In time, you could develop a tumor.” – Ace Ventura
5. “I gotta go, guys! I got a date with your mothers!” – Ace Ventura
6. Ace Ventura: “Holy t*sticle Tuesday.”
Lt. Lois Einhorn: “What the hell is he doing here?”
Ace Ventura: “I came to confess. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.”
7. Mr. Shickadance: “Ventura.”
Ace Ventura: “Yes, Satan? Oh, I’m sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else.”
8. Lt. Lois Einhorn: “Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you better be gone.”
Ace Ventura: “Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.”
Classic Ace Ventura Quotes You Must Not Miss Out On
9. “Alrighty then!” – Ace Ventura
10. “Do not go in there! Phew!” – Ace Ventura
11. “It’s alive. It’s alive.” – Ace Ventura
12. Melissa Robinson: “You know, you’re just mad because your stupid little pebble theory didn’t work out and you don’t know how to express your anger.”
Ace Ventura: “Oh yeah? And you’re ugly.”
13. Ace Ventura: “Excuse me. I’d like to *ss you a few questions.”
Emilio: “Ace, this is not the time. If Einhorn comes down here and sees me talking to you or your *ss, I’m history.”
14. “Hi, I’m looking for Ray Finkle, and a clean pair of shorts.” – Ace Ventura
15. “That was a close one, ladies and gentlemen. Of course, in every contest, there must be a loser. Lew-Who, Za-Her!” – Ace Ventura
16. “Einhorn is Finkle. Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a man! Oh my God! Einhorn is a man!?” – Ace Ventura
17. “Tom Ace. Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Camp, and congratulations on all your success. You smell terrific. I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at Stanford Law was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy private homeowners. In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice with little else. How is everyone feeling tonight?” – Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura Quotes to Revisit
18. Lt. Lois Einhorn: “Listen, Pet Dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell?”
Ace Ventura: “Well, I’m not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I’ll give you a call sometime. Your number’s still 911?”
19. “Of course. How selfish of me. Let’s do all the things you want to do.” – Ace Ventura
20. “Gee, Chuck, the date started out good. Just before we got to the party, she seemed to tense up.” – Ace Ventura
21. Melissa Robinson: “Ace, get out of the tank.”
Ace Ventura: “I just can’t do it, Captain. I don’t have the power!”
Melissa Robinson: “I said, get out of the tank now!”
Ace Ventura: “For God’s sake, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a pool man!”
22. Mr. Finkle: “What do you know about Ray Finkle?”
Ace Ventura: “Soccer style kicker graduated from Collier High June 1976, Stetson University honors graduate class of 1980, holds two NCAA Division One records, one for most points in a season, one for distance, former nickname, ‘The Mule,’ the first and only pro-athlete ever to come out of Collier County and one hell of a model American.”
Mr. Finkle: “Are you another one of those ‘Hard Copy’ guys?”
Ace Ventura: “No sir, I’m just a very big Finkle fan. This is my Graceland.”
More Ace Ventura Quotes for a Day Full of Laughter
23. Ronald Camp: “I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Ace. I’ll have the plumbing checked immediately.”
Ace Ventura: “Be sure that you do! If I’d been drinking out of the toilet, I might’ve been killed!”
24. Melissa Robinson: “Hi, I’m Melissa Robinson.”
Ace Ventura: “Pleasure to meet you.”
Melissa Robinson: “Did you have any trouble getting in?”
Ace Ventura: “No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.”
25. Ace Ventura: “Good to see someone who doesn’t buckle under the pressure.”
Lt. Lois Einhorn: “And what would you know about pressure?”
Ace Ventura: “Well, I have kissed a man.”
What’s Your Favorite Scene From Ace Ventura?
If the first movie hadn’t hooked the audience, there wouldn’t be any sequels. As we all know, humor is subjective, so movies like this are sometimes a hit or a miss. Some will love and become fans of the movie, and some can hate it to the core.
Fortunately, there were a lot more people who found Ace Ventura timelessly funny. Some critics say that Jim Carrey acted very weirdly in Ace Ventura. However, for us fans, we understand that it was his way of getting us to understand his character’s perspective better.
Ace Ventura was a detective for animals, not humans. His weirdness and unique antics made him more successful in his tasks! His personality was beneficial for his job, but it was also a way for his character to get lodged in our brains.
Read this list of Ace Ventura quotes again whenever you need a good laugh. Remember his weirdly funny words and quips on life, and make your day instantly brighter!