Finding ways to kill time with these top Anchorman quotes will surely leave you with a laugh.
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is an American black comedy movie released in 2004. Famous actors Will Ferrel and Steve Carell played the film’s protagonists as Ron Burgundy and Brick Tamland.
The movie earned over 90 million dollars and an average grade of B from the audience.
Its positive reviews called for a release of a second film called Anchorman: The Legend Continues. Both films were directed by Adam Mckay, who started his career in the 90s.
The sarcastic depiction of characters with mocking seriousness made the film a hit.
So, if you want to know more or revisit the wonders of this film, read the full collection below.
Let’s get started.
And don’t forget to check out these Cool Hand Luke quotes and Joe Dirt quotes.
Best Anchorman Quotes
1. “Okay, before we start, let’s go over the ground rules. No touching of the hair or face, and that’s it. Now fight!” – Ron Burgundy
2. “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.” – Ron Burgundy
3. “It’s so hot. Milk was a bad choice.” – Ron Burgundy
4. “I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?” – Ron Burgundy
5. “I’m kind of a big deal. People know me.” – Ron Burgundy
6. “Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.” – Ron Burgundy
7. “I’m in a glass case of emotion.” – Ron Burgundy
8. “You stay classy, San Diego. I’m Ron Burgundy.” – Ron Burgundy
9. “They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works every time.” – Brian Fantana
10. “Brick, are you saying that there is a party in your pants and that I’m invited?” – Veronica Corningstone
11. “I immediately regret this decision.” – Ron Burgundy
12. “Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.” – Ron Burgundy
13. “I wanna say something. I’m gonna put this out there. If you like it, you can take it. If you don’t, send it right back. I want to be on you.” – Ron Burgundy
14. “Hey, where’d you get those clothes, the toilet store?” – Brick Tamland
15. “The human torch was denied a bank loan.” – Ron Burgundy
Memorable Anchorman Quotes
16. “She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart, and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.” – Brian Fantana
17. “I am gonna straight-up murder your *ss!” – Frank Vitchard
18. “You’re watching Channel 4 News with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and T*ts McGee.” – Announcer
19. “I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.” – Ron Burgundy
20. “We need you. Hell, I need you. I’m a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you. I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent. I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.” – Champ Kind
21. “You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? Maybe don’t wear a bra next time. No, I was talking to you. No, not her. I don’t know her name. What is it? Lanolin. La—Lanolin? Like, like sheep’s wool?” – Ron Burgundy
22. “It is anchorman, not anchorlady! And that is a scientific fact!” – Champ Kind
23. “Mmmm, I look good. I mean really good. Hey, everyone, come and see how good I look.” – Ron Burgundy
24. “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary. That’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the baby maker.” – Ron Burgundy
25. “The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show and see if she likes the goods.” – Ron Burgundy
26. “You know how to cut the core of me, Baxter. You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.” – Ron Burgundy
27. “Yeah. There were horses and a man on fire. And I killed a guy with a trident.” – Brick Tamland
28. “Oh Ron, there are literally thousands of other men that I should be with instead, but I am 72% sure that I love you.” – Veronica Corningstone
29. “Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.” – Ron Burgundy
30. Brick Tamland: “I love, carpet. I love, desk.”
Ron Burgundy: “Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying you love them?”
Also read: Borat Quotes, The Other Guys Quotes
Funny Anchorman Quotes to Cheer Up Your Day
31. “Hello? Who’s there? I’m talking? Hello? Who is this? Baxter, is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee. Is this Wilt Chamberlain? Have the courage to say something! Hello?” – Ron Burgundy
32. “Hey, you’re making me look stupid. Get out of here, Panda Jerk!” – Brian Fantana
33. “Who the hell is Julius Caesar? You know I don’t follow the NBA.” – Ron Burgundy
34. “I’m sorry, Veronica. We’ve had this discussion before. I’m not going to let you be the anchor.” – Ed Harken
35. “Listen, there’s three things I’m good at—fighting, screwing, and reading the news. I’ve already done one of those things today, and I’m about to do one more. Which is it gonna be?” – Veronica Corningstone
36. “Oh Audrey, I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What’s that? Well, if you were a man, I’d punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That’s bush. Bush league, you hear me? Audrey!” – Ron Burgundy
37. “I’m going to do the thing that God put Ron Burgundy on this Earth to do. Have salon-quality hair and read the news.” – Ron Burgundy
38. “Oh my God, he’s absolutely magnificent. I bet his poop smells like sandalwood.” – Ron Burgundy
39. “I’m not a baby! I’m a man! An anchorman!” – Ron Burgundy
40. “Can you please give me your name Mr. Head, and please don’t tell me it’s Dick!” – Dr. Rydell
Short and Iconic Anchorman Quotes
41. “Cannon ball!” – Ron Burgundy
42. “Great Odin’s raven!” – Ron Burgundy
43. “By the Hammer of Thor!” – Ron Burgundy
44. “Son of a bee-sting!” – Ron Burgundy
45. “Great Knights of Columbus, that hurt!” – Ron Burgundy
46. “You’re a real hooker. I’m gonna slap you in public.” – Ron Burgundy
47. “By the beard of Zeus!” – Ron Burgundy
48. “Sweet Lincoln’s mullet!” – Ron Burgundy
49. “Brick, where’d you get a hand grenade?” – Ron Burgundy
50. “Why don’t you go back to your home on wh*re island?” – Ron Burgundy
51. “Um, no, no. Too many people died last year, so we’re not gonna.” – Brick Tamland
52. “Stop calling your arms guns.” – Veronica Corningstone
53. “You have an absolutely breathtaking hiney.” – Ron Burgundy
54. “A black man follows me when it’s sunny.” – Ron Burgundy
55. “Is that a minotaur?” – Brian Tamland
Cringey Anchorman Quotes That Will Make You Laugh
56. “When you’ve got an *ss like the North Star, wise men are going to follow it.” – Ron Burgundy
57. “Really? Yes, I do. It’s actually an optical illusion. It’s the pattern on the pants that is flattering for the crotchal region. I’m actually taking them back right now. Taking them back to the pants store. Well, this is awkward. I will see you later? Nothing to look at. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.” – Ron Burgundy
58. “Take me to Pleasure Town.” – Veronica Corningstone
59. “You are a smelly pirate hooker!” – Ron Burgundy
60. “I hear that their periods attract bears. The bears can smell the menstruation.” – Brick Tamland
61. “You realize you are talking to a man who just this morning tried to brush his teeth with a live lobster?” – Ron Burgundy
62. “Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.” – Veronica Corningstone
63. “No, she gets a special cologne. It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries. Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.” – Brain Fantana
64. “I’m very aroused.” – Ron Burgundy
65. “I know what you’re wondering, and the answer is yes, I do have a nickname for my p*n*s. It’s called ‘The Octogon’.” – Brian Fantana
66. “I’m proud of you, fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that’s what you gotta do when you find yourself thrust into the middle of a vicious cockfight.” – Ron Burgundy
67. “Go f*ck yourself, San Diego.” – Ron Burgundy
68. “This is embarrassing. I’m totally unprepared.” – Ron Burgundy
69. “I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.” – Ron Burgundy
70. “Come again? You know I don’t speak Spanish. In English, please. What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How’d you do that? I’m not even mad, that’s amazing.” – Ron Burgundy
Satirical Anchorman Quotes for People With Dark Humor
71. Ron Burgundy: “Garth, if I were to give you some money out of my wallet, would that ease the pain?”
Garth Holiday: “I hate you Ron Burgundy! I hate you!”
72. “I’m going to need you to r*t*rd your anger.” – Dr. Rydell
73. “Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48 and am what some people call mentally r*t*rd*d.” – Brick Tamland
74. “Yeah. I stabbed a man in the heart.” – Brick Tamland
75. “It is terrible. She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon.” – Ron Burgundy
76. Brick Tamland: “I love lamp. I love lamp.”
Ron Burgundy: “Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?”
77. “I will smash your face into a car windshield, then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a delicious seafood dinner and then never call her again!” – Champ Kind
78. “Well, now we know, guys—you can’t smoke crack on live television.” – Ron Burgundy
79. “Ohh, it’s the deep burn. Oh, it’s so deep. Oh, I can barely lift my right arm ’cause I did so many. I don’t know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.” – Ron Burgundy
80. “Brick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while because you’re probably wanted for murder.” – Ron Burgundy
Other Hilarious Anchorman Quotes
81. “Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.” – Ron Burgundy
82. “It’s a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils. In a good way. Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.” – Ron Burgundy
83. “Sorry Champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.” – Brick Tamland
84. “Who cares, that’s Stonewall Jackson’s ghost.” – Ron Burgundy
85. “If you want to throw down in fisticuffs, fine, I’ve got Jack Johnson and Tom O’Leary waitin’ for ya right here!” – Brick Tamland
86. “I woke up this morning, and I sh*t a squirrel. I mean, literally hell of it is damn things still alive, so I got this sh*t covered squirrel down there in the office. Don’t know what to name it.” – Champ Kid
87. “Ron, why did you say that? Why? Why Ron? Why? You were my hero Ron!” – Garth Holiday
88. “I don’t know what we’re yelling about.” – Brick Tamland
89. “Heh heh! He said hinney!” – Brick Tamland
90. “Hey aqualung!” – Ron Burgundy
What Other Satirical Films Are You a Fan Of?
If you are a fan of dark comedy movies, you might have watched The Office, Semi-Pro, or License to Wed. We often seek humor in our pain and struggles in our dull life because what better way to approach a problem, right?
People have different tastes in movies and on what makes them laugh. It is a means to get away from the hardships that we experience in the real world. Indeed, we can never get enough of these types of films when life has punched us real hard!
Anchorman has perfectly captured the funny and dark side of Action News culture. With its amazing actors and well-sketched characters, it will surely take you on a hilarious ride.
Who is your favorite character in Anchorman? Which quotes made you laugh out loud? Join the comment section below.
