This Redditor’s half-sister is a special child, and she’s unwilling to help her dad and stepmom financially cover her medical expenses and care. She adamantly refuses to do so, but they keep on pushing!
A New Family
When OP (Original Poster) was only 14, her parents divorced. Three years later, her father married a woman named Josie, and later on, her half-sister, Melody, was born.
A Dreadful Condition
Melody has several “severe special needs,” physically and mentally. Even though she’s still a child, medical specialists working with her and their parents agreed that she will likely need around-the-clock care her entire life.
In Need of Help
For obvious reasons, Melody’s situation became a lot for OP’s dad and Josie to take on. It worsened to the point that they have persistently asked OP to take over and care for her half-sister occasionally.
However, OP refused to do so. According to OP, “The reason I have chosen to be child-free is because I don’t want to be responsible for another human to that extent, especially not one with special needs like Melody. I have to work full-time to keep a roof over my own head. Either I can provide for myself or leave my job and be unable to provide for anyone.”
Substantial Amount in Savings
OP then explained how her mom saved a considerable amount for her college fund. But since OP went to a local college, she was able to spend a lot less money compared to any average college tuition nowadays.
Her mother let her keep the rest of the fund since it was saved for her in the first place. Then, she told OP she could put the money toward whatever she wanted.
It’s the Least She Could Do
OP’s dad and Josie knew about her college fund, but they couldn’t access it. However, they are asking OP to share some of the money with them to contribute to Melody’s care and hire a personal nurse since Josie misses working full-time.
She added, “They said since I am refusing to physically take care of Melody, I should at least help financially since I am able to.”
Your Child, Your Responsibility!
OP, again, refused to give what they asked for. She reminded them that she had chosen to be child-free for this very reason.
Melody isn’t her daughter, and her father and Josie chose to have Melody, making them the only people responsible for her half-sister.
We’ll Never Forget This!
Having had enough of things, they started threatening OP. Her dad and Josie accepted her decision but told her they would “remember this” if ever there came a time that she needed help.
No Other Helping Hands
Unfortunately, OP’s father has no blood relatives and only had her grandmother, who recently passed away. On the other hand, Josie has a huge family, and everyone has full-time jobs.
However, they also have children of their own they have to look after.
All up in Her Business
Additionally, none of Josie’s family are well-off, and they have contacted OP to explain their situation to her. They told her that it “disappoints” them and “breaks their hearts” that she’s too “cold” to help her sister, even if she can financially.
Still, OP doesn’t understand how she is “cold” for refusing to take on a responsibility that isn’t hers anyway. Melody isn’t her child, and it’s not a sibling’s job to care for their brother or sister—especially financially.
The Community’s Take on the Matter
People said that since Josie’s family is so concerned with the situation, they can take action themselves and contribute so they could help out financially.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Tell the ‘many family members’ who contacted you that they can pool their money together to help Melody since they are so concerned. They want to tell you how to spend your money, so feel free to tell them how to spend theirs.”
It’s 100% Yours
Others also pointed out that OP’s dad and stepmother have absolutely no right to take her money.
A Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. I feel like I’m a broken record. Parents should never take money from a child in any way, shape, or form. There are very few exceptions—you are not an exception based on this story. It’s also not your father’s business that you have any money left over, and it’s not at all appropriate that your stepmother’s family call you to discuss this matter. It’s absolutely none of their business.”
You’re Free to Do What You Want
Redditors clarified that since OP’s mother saved the money for her college education and eventually gave the rest to her, it’s entirely in her jurisdiction where she would decide to use the money. Aside from that, she is also not obligated to care for someone who isn’t her daughter.
A commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Your mother saved to provide for you, not someone else’s child. It’s your money; you have every right not to give it away and use it for yourself or save it. She is your half-sister but in no way your responsibility. You are not her nurse or parent; you have no obligation to look after her.”
The same person added, “You can volunteer to look after her occasionally if you want, but that should 1000% be your choice, not an obligation imposed by your dad and stepmom. You chose not to have children. No reason to be forced to look after someone else’s.”
Many people also questioned the possibilities if OP decided to give them money, saying that it would still be the same situation once the money was already spent.
“What happens if you do help after the money gets spent? Josie can’t earn enough to pay for a nurse, so even if you did help financially, it’s a short-term solution with nothing to show for it, except you no longer have your emergency fund. It’s a terrible idea financially and won’t make any difference long term,” a commenter said.
“Not the a**hole because it’s your money and not your responsibility, but also, it’s a waste of money. They could spend it all and be right back where they are now in a year or two,” the same Redditor added.
Was OP wrong? If you were OP, would you share your money to pay for your half-sister’s needs?
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This post first appeared as Her Dad and Stepmom Demanded She Fund Her Half-Sister’s Medical Expenses and Become Her Caregiver, but She Refused, Saying She’s Not Her Responsibility. Now Her Relatives Say She’s a “Disappointment!” on Quote Ambition.