Sarcastic quotes are good to keep in your arsenal whenever you need a smart and sharp comeback!
In life, we’re thrown various scenarios that just make us tick.
We get annoyed, bored, or in extreme situations, even angry about idiocy or lack of common sense. Having sarcasm and a bunch of sarcastic quotes would be extremely helpful during these times.
Sarcasm is defined to be the use of irony to convey your contempt or dislike of something.
Plainly speaking, it’s saying the opposite of what you want to say to mock something, insult someone, or even just be funny.
Sarcastic people usually have sharp minds that can tweak even the simplest words into the snidest or mocking comment.
So, if you’re curious about sarcasm or need a list of sarcastic quotes to keep in your pocket, you’ve come to the right place.
Scroll through to the end and list down your favorite quotes!
Continue to the collection below.
And don’t forget to check out these funny quotes and positive quotes.
Best Sarcastic Quotes
1. “I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.” – Anonymous
2. “I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.” – Anonymous
3. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
4. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.” – Anonymous
5. “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.” – Anonymous
6. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.” – Anonymous
7. “I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.” – Anonymous
8. “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
9. “They say each day is a gift! Well, I want to know where customer service is so I can return this one!” – Anonymous
Famous Sarcastic Quotes
10. “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.” – Anonymous
11. “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Anonymous
12. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.” – Anonymous
13. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” – Anonymous
14. “If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.” – Anonymous
15. “My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I am kidding anymore.” – Anonymous
Sarcastic Quotes to Highlight What It Is
16. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.” – Anonymous
17. “Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars, and makes people smile.” – Mahmoud Darwish
18. “Sarcasm—the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.” – Anonymous
19. “Sarcasm—because arguing with stupid people just wouldn’t be as much fun.” – Anonymous
20. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.” – Anonymous
21. “Sarcasm—helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.” – Anonymous
22. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.” – Oscar Wilde
Sarcastic Quotes About Life
23. “Life’s good, you should get one.” – Anonymous
24. “When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in people’s eyes.” – Anonymous
25. “If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.” – Anonymous
26. “Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up.” – Anonymous
27. “If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember!” – Anonymous
28. “When something goes wrong in your life, just yell, ‘Plot twist’ and move on.” – Anonymous
29. “If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.” – Anonymous
30. “Instead of, ‘Have a nice day,’ I think I’ll start saying, ‘Have the day you deserve.’ You know, let karma sort things out.” – Anonymous
31. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” – John Wayne
32. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Anonymous
33. “Have some fun with your life. Call in sick to places you don’t even work at.” – Anonymous
34. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” – Katharine Hepburn
Sarcastic Quotes on People and Their Characteristics
35. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright
36. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.” – Anonymous
37. “Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.” – Anonymous
38. “Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.” – Anonymous
39. “Tell me. Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?” – Anonymous
40. “Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.” – Anonymous
41. “You know what I like about people? Their dogs.” – Anonymous
42. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” – Fred Allen
Short Sarcastic Quotes
43. “If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’ll be poor.” – Anonymous
44. “Find your patience before I lose mine.” – Anonymous
45. “Apparently rock bottom has a basement.” – Anonymous
46. “Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.” – Anonymous
47. “Sure I’ll help you out—the same way you came in.” – Anonymous
48. “Marriage is a bliss for people who aren’t in it.” – Anonymous
49. “We are all born crazy. Some of us remain that way.” – Samuel Beckett
Epic Sarcastic Quotes That Will Burn
50. “You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes are closed.” – Anonymous
51. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.” – Anonymous
52. “I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.” – Anonymous
53. “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.” – Anonymous
54. “Someday, you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.” – Anonymous
55. “Please cancel my subscription to your issues.” – Anonymous
56. “People say that laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world!” – Anonymous
Deep Sarcastic Quotes
57. “I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended yet. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.” – Anonymous
58. “What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.” – Anonymous
59. “My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously, there is a new strain out there.” – Anonymous
60. “Marriage. Because your crappy day doesn’t have to end at work.” – Anonymous
61. “Sometimes the amount of self-control it takes to not say what’s on my mind is so immense, I need a nap afterward.” – Anonymous
62. “The whiskey tastes like I’m about to tell you how I really feel.” – Anonymous
63. “What doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.” – Anonymous
64. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx
65. “If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married, you can’t even change the TV channel.” – Anonymous
Sarcastic Quotes for When You Need a Witty Comeback
66. “That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.” – Anonymous
67. “Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?” – Anonymous
68. “I lost your number. I lost it when I hit ‘delete.’” – Anonymous
69. “I’m sorry. While you were talking, I was trying to figure out where the hell you got the idea I cared.” – Anonymous
70. “I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.” – Anonymous
71. “Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.” – Anonymous
72. “My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you. It’s just that your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless.” – Anonymous
73. “No, no, no. I’m not insulting you. I’m just describing you.” – Anonymous
74. “Oh. I didn’t tell you. Then it must be none of your business.” – Anonymous
Funny Sarcastic Quotes That Will Make You Laugh
75. “Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.” – Anonymous
76. “I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.” – Anonymous
77. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? – Anonymous
78. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.” – Anonymous
79. “Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.” – Anonymous
80. “I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.” – Anonymous
81. “Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap eight people at once.” – Anonymous
82. “You’re giving me the silent treatment? Finally.” – Anonymous
83. “I’m sorry. I was listening until, out of nowhere, I became distracted by this loud, obnoxious noise that turned out to be your voice.” – Anonymous
84. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work.” – Anonymous
More Sarcastic Quotes
85. “Tell me how I have upset you because I want to know how to do it again.” – Anonymous
86. “Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day.” – Anonymous
87. “I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Anonymous
88. “You’d be in good shape if you ran as much as your mouth.” – Anonymous
89. “If you wrote down every single thought you ever had, you would get an award for the shortest story ever .” – Anonymous
90. “Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.” – Anonymous
Do You Know Someone Who’s Just Great at Witty and Sarcastic Remarks?
As Oscar Wilde said, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.” To use sarcasm correctly, you’d have to have a sharp mind. It takes tremendous wit to use words as your armor and defense, after all.
However, one must be cautious when using sarcasm while interacting with others. While these remarks are laced with humor, there might be times when one can go overboard. Keep in mind that sarcasm can easily be misunderstood; if we aren’t careful, we might permanently destroy our relationship with others.
So, try to strike a good balance between what you actually want to convey and the humor you’re trying to mix in. With that, we hope these sarcastic quotes were able to give you a line or two to use when you need a witty comeback.
Do you consider yourself to be a sarcastic person? Which quotes would you use next? Comment below.
“Sarcasm, which derives from the Greek and Latin word ‘to tear flesh’ or ‘bite the lip’, requires the brain to process thoughts differently.” So says a study…but I suspect they might have been speaking sarcastically.
I wanted to accurately define Sarcasm, so I looked in the dictionary. Immediately I wondered if what they said was true.
So, next I wrote to the online dictionary publisher with my doubt.
They replied, “Now, don’t you be sarcastic!”
To which I probably shouldn’t have replied,
“HOW DO I KNOW THAT YOU DIDN”T START IT?”