This woman raised her stepson like her own, even when she had already divorced his dad. Now she’s considering leaving him the same inheritance as her biological children. Would it be a selfish move?
A Child Born Out of Wedlock
A few weeks after OP (Original Poster) and her now ex-husband got married, they found out that he had a three-year-old son from an ex-girlfriend.
The boy’s mom only decided to share the information once the news of their marriage came out, so OP’s husband didn’t know about his son either.
Complicated Family Matters
OP didn’t shun her husband or the boy. They all moved on, and she and her husband went on to have two daughters.
However, her husband could never publicly acknowledge or accept his son. He also couldn’t give him his name because he was a “product of a pre-marital affair.”
Social and Political Downfall
Without going into too much detail, OP explained that her husband is a politician in a “conservative country.” So, if the public knew about his son, it would have been “political and social annihilation” for him.
The Boy’s Legal Guardian
Sadly, when her husband’s son turned 10, his mom was diagnosed with cancer. Around this time, OP and her husband also divorced amicably.
OP wrote, “Though he and I had only met the boy a few times, his mother decided to rewrite her will and make me her son’s legal guardian, despite knowing that I was getting divorced from her son’s father and would now be living in a different country since she had no other family.”
Taking on the Responsibility
The boy’s mom passed away soon after, and despite how unconventional it was, OP raised her ex-husband’s son and their two daughters.
She raised three children as a single mom for the next 15 years. OP shared, “My stepson hasn’t been able to see his father since, though my daughters visit him each summer.”
Money Talks
OP was currently thinking about arranging her estate and assets, and she explained that her husband is worth around $12,000,000. She, on the other hand, is worth around $300,000,000!
Her ex-husband planned to split his fortune evenly between his three kids, and this wasn’t the issue she needed to address. The real problem actually lies with OP’s estate.
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!
Normally, OP would only have to slit her estate into two and give each of her daughters half. However, since she raised her stepson longer than his biological mom did, she sees him as “her little boy and a brother to her daughters.”
Her stepson also has “almost no relationship” with his father, who is his only living biological parent. To make matters worse, he didn’t have a say in this, and it wasn’t his fault.
Am I Going Too Far?
She explained that her family had accepted her stepson as their nephew and grandson, and she’d never seen them treat him any differently than her biological daughters. However, her family now thinks she’s going too far in terms of planning her estate.
They argued that he’s not a blood relative and should only receive an inheritance from his dad, OP’s ex-husband.
An Unfair and Disrespectful Move
For OP’s relatives, giving her stepson an equal cut of her estate would be unfair to her daughters and disrespectful to her late father, whom the majority of the assets are from.
They said OP’s dad “valued their blood more than anything else.” OP wrote, “Dad died when I was a child, so this may very well be true. My siblings are only dividing their assets among their own children.”
Strangers’ Unsolicited Opinions
OP had suffered through years of subtle whispers about how she was a “bad wife.” There was also a lot of “pushback” to their divorce, as most of the people she knew, both friends and family, wanted her to keep her marriage with her “golden boy ex-husband.”
International media in her and her ex-husband’s country agreed with them, too. So, for OP, it was “safe to say” that their divorce had damaged her and her ex-husband’s reputation and public image.
A Mother’s Fears
So, aside from being labeled a “bad wife,” OP fears being branded as a “bad mother,” especially when it comes to the discussion of her assets.
She wants to ignore her family and evenly split her assets in three ways. However, she’s concerned that she might be labeled a jerk because of this.
A Grateful Heart Is Not Enough
Throughout all of this, OP’s ex-husband remains grateful that she selflessly took in his son. OP knows that it “eats him up inside” to not be the parent he wants to be.
However, he’s also still the “beloved son-in-law” in OP’s family, so he doesn’t want to ruin his relationship with them by giving OP any advice about how she should spend her money.
Her Kids’ Sensitive Hearts
All three of OP’s children are adults, but she doesn’t want to ask for their opinion or put them on the spot. She feels like none of her kids would be “completely honest with her.”
She wrote, “My daughters will never want to come off greedy and ruin their relationship with their brother, even if in their hearts they think they do deserve a half share like my family has been telling them. My son won’t want to overstep, and even if he feels he is deserving of a share, he’ll say he doesn’t mind though it’ll hurt him inside.”
What Redditors Think of the Issue
For Redditors, OP should follow what her gut and heart are telling her to do.
“Not the a**hole. Only getting $100,000,000 rather than $150,000,000 will mean little to your daughters, whereas excluding your son from your will would mean your last act on earth was saying he wasn’t really your son,” commented a top commenter.
Many others agreed, and one said, “This comment is really the only one that matters! OP will be dead, so her family can be mad at her all they want. She won’t be around to deal with it. In exchange, she’s setting all of her children set up for life.”
It’s up to You
Other users chimed in with advice or comforting words toward OP to help her find and decide on her next step.
A woman suggested, “Not the a**hole. It’s your estate and your decision. Nobody has a right to it except you. Considering your net worth, I would run this by the best estate lawyer you can find as soon as possible. You need to lock this down in a way that is very clear and keeps the family from interfering.”
“Not the a**hole. You raised him as your child. He’s your child in all but blood. Give your money to whoever you want,” commented another Redditor.
What should OP do? Would splitting her estate into three even parts be alright?
More From Quote Ambition
This user had a sister who held her wedding on her birthday and then didn’t invite her. Now, she wonders if she’d be a jerk if she did the same thing back to her sister!
She Inherited $750,000 From Her Late Mom and Discovered Her Sister Had Stolen $1,300,000! Now She Wants to Keep the Money, Lawyer Up, and Sue Her Swindling Sister!
This Redditor thought she and her sister were hand in hand in taking care of their dying mom. Later, she found out that she was scheming and stealing millions!
She Refused to Give Her Freeloading, Money-Hungry, and Irresponsible Half-Sisters an Equal Cut of the Inheritance Her Mom Left. She’s Tired of Their Ungratefulness and Thinks She Deserves Much More!
She took in her half-sisters when their mom died, but in return, all they gave her was their irresponsibility and ungratefulness. So she now planned to take a bigger chunk of their inheritance!
She Kicked Her Emotionally Abusive Mom Out After She Tried to Boot Her Sister Out of a House That Wasn’t Even Hers. She Paid Rent, but It’s Not Enough to Justify Her Horrible Actions!
This Redditor always had an abrasive relationship with her mother but let her move in with her years later as an adult. When her mom tried to kick her sister out, she booted her instead!
She Refused to Give Her Estranged Relatives the Inheritance She Received From Her Parents After They Abandoned Them and Made Their Life “Hell.” They Don’t Deserve a Cent!
This Redditor grew up estranged from her relatives. But now that her parents and brother passed away, and she’s the sole inheritor of their estate, they’re worming themselves back into her life for money!
This post first appeared as She Plans to Equally Split Her $300,000,000 Estate Between Her Two Biological Daughters and Stepson. Her Family Thinks She’s Making a Grave and Unfair Mistake, but She’s Doing It Anyway! on Quote Ambition.
Read Next:
- She Refused to Give Her Stepson Her Grandmother’s Wedding Ring, Saying It’s Reserved for Her Niece. Now He’s Livid, Accusing Her of Abandoning Him and Not Treating Him Like “Family!”
- He Refused to Give Any of the Inheritance His Late Wife Left Him to Her Siblings. Now They’re Guilt-Tripping Him, Saying He’s “Throwing Away Family Money” Instead of Helping Them!
- She Refused to Quit Her Career “Just to Stay Home With an Infant,” So She Demanded Her 64-Year-Old Mom to Be Her “Free Nanny.” Now She’s Slammed by the Internet!
