100 Trailer Park Boys Quotes That Will Crack You Up

If you want nonstop skits to ease your stress, then these Trailer Park Boys quotes will surely fit the bill!

Trailer Park Boys is a series that portrays life under substance abuse, violence, theft, and poverty. The story follows Julian, Bubbles, Ricky, and their dirty schemes in the trailer park hood in Nova Scotia, Canada. 

In the plot, the team of misfits plans illegal ways to make money. But, you can never assume plans to be executed perfectly. Because of Jim Lahey, an ex-cop officer, the trio has to do their best to hide their guns, scams, and illegal substances from the public eye.

Despite featuring explicit topics, it is a go-to show if you want to de-stress alone or with your friends. Laugh while you watch, but we’re positive you’ll leave with some life-changing realizations when the show is over.

So, if you want to have a sneak peek of the show, make sure to check the list below. Don’t miss out on this list we’ve created just for you!

Start reading here. 

And don’t forget to check out these Schitt’s Creek quotes and Shameless quotes.

Best Trailer Park Boys Quotes

1. “Once a trailer park boy, always a trailer park boy.” – Ricky 

2. “I try to be a role model for kids around the park. If some kid wants to grow dope, they can come talk to me, instead of growing dope six or seven times through denial and error, they’re going to get it right the first time and have some good dope.” – Ricky 

3. “Let’s cut to the chase, Rick. There will be no jeopardization of the people in this park. Do you understand that?” – Jim

4. “Here’s what I know, Rick. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, you own it. If it doesn’t, you don’t own it and if it doesn’t you’re an *sshole, just like you.” – Bubbles

5. “I learned a very valuable lesson lately, Randy. You can’t change people.” – Randy 

6. “Who in this park, or even in the whole world, doesn’t have problems? Who doesn’t have a drink too many times once in a while and maybe even winds up passed out in their own driveway, pissing themselves? Who doesn’t drink too much sometimes or who doesn’t have a puff from time to time? And who doesn’t have problems with the people they love? This is our home. This is our community. I am Jim Lahey, and I am your trailer park supervisor.” – Jim

7. “I don’t want to be known as the guy who walks up and slaps dadonkadonks.” – Bubbles

8. “You know, ever since you guys have been around with your TV cameras, Julian’s changed. You know, he’s getting all frustrated and he’s taking his problems out on me and other people in the park—it’s crazy! He lives in there, in a palace and he’s all stressed out! I live out here in a car and I’ve got everything I need and I’m happy! I mean, this is my home. So I don’t know what his problem is.” – Ricky 

9. “He who looks into the abyss realizes that there’s nothin’ lookin’ back at him and the only thing he sees is his own character, Ricky. You understand, Bud. The abyss. The Sh*t-Abyss.” – Jim

Trailer Park Boys Rickyisms

10. “It’s all water under the fridge.” – Ricky 

11. “Save me some of those sweet empowered chicken things.” – Ricky 

12. “Beauty is in the eye when you hold her.” – Ricky

13. “Don’t judge a cover of a book by its look.” – Ricky 

14. “Lucy, I will make you have an eternity test if I have to.” – Ricky 

15. “Do you have a search warranty?” – Ricky 

16. “Survival of the fitness, boys.” – Ricky 

17. “Good things come to those at the gate.” – Ricky 

18. “Worst case Ontario.” – Ricky 

19. “A link is only as long as your longest strong chain.” – Ricky 

20. “Get two birds stoned at once.” – Ricky 

21. “Just remember Lahey, what comes around is all around.” – Ricky 

22. “It doesn’t take rocket appliances to know that—.” – Ricky 

23. “I’ve always believed do unto others as you would do unto you.” – Ricky

24. “It’s better to have a gun and need it than to not have a gun and not need it.” – Ricky 

Also read: Fleabag Quotes, American Horror Story Quotes

Trailer Park Boys Ricky Quotes

25. “What are you doin’ using your big school words; just use normal people words and I’ll understand what you’re talkin’ about.” – Ricky 

26. “The thing is, in order to stop breakin’ the law, we gotta break the law just for a couple of minutes, and then we’re gonna be done, retired.” – Ricky 

27. “When you’re growing up, you gotta do illegal things once in a while, have a bit of fun, and maturinate into a better person.” – Ricky 

28. “I’d like to make a request under the People’s Freedom of Choices and Voices Act to be able to smoke an’ swear in your courtroom.” – Ricky 

29. “A lot of people might say I’m stupid; I don’t know; I don’t think I am. I’m probably smarter than that, I mean. This thing here’s smarter than me, I guess, but it has a battery.” – Ricky 

30. “The thing with me is that I am smart and I’m smelf, I’m self smarted, basically, by myself, basically from nature and smoking drugs and doing different things I’ve self—like self-learned myself. And that’s the whole difference I guess is that I don’t need the books or the schooling-type things. I just get everything on my own and because of that, I’m alive right now. I mean, if I had read more books or tried to go on to college and different things like that I’d be dead right now because people say books and college are for to make you smarter, but they can also be for to make you dead, which is what could have happened to me.” – Ricky 

31. “Instead of breaking the law big time for a big payday, you gotta break the law a lot but little tiny crimes.” – Ricky 

32. “We got this plutonium kind of love sh*t going and I don’t wanna f*ck that up, all right.” – Ricky 

33. “After today we’re gonna be a legal family. It’s gonna be pretty cool, right, it’s gonna be on paper and everything.” – Ricky 

34. “I mean, nobody wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli, but I did. I’m ashamed of myself. The first can doesn’t count, then you get to the second and third, fourth and fifth I think I burnt with the blowtorch, and then I just kept eatin’.” – Ricky 

35. “The thing with kids and growings and getting learnings and stuff are that—you can’t lie to them. Basically, if you wanna tell the children they can’t do something they’re gonna want to do it more. When I was young I did all kinds of crazy sh*t and I turned out wicked. That’s because my dad was f*ckin’ cool, he let me do sh*t. I was allowed to drive his car around the park, basically took my dirt bike to school, let me grow dope in his shed in grade seven. You know, that’s what good parenting is all about. You gotta let them have a bit of freedom.” – Ricky 

36. “Well, I think somebody has been talking to Trinity and they’ve misled her around and basically they said that you know, I’m drunk and stupid all the time, which isn’t the case. Once in a while I get drunk, once in a while something comes out of my mouth that may not be the smartest thing in the world, but she shouldn’t be worried about growing up drunk and stupid like me. That’s not gonna happen. She’s already smarter than me, you know, and she’s only like nine years old.” – Ricky

37. “F*ck, I missed jail this year. Was it awesome?” – Ricky 

38. “Well I was plannin’ on takin’ the blame, cuz I mean there is a pretty good chance that I did it. Well, I mean I did do it. But Bubbles took the blame, so once someone takes the blame, whaddya do? I couldn’t take it then, he had already taken it.” – Ricky

39. “I don’t do as much coke as you do. We’re not on the same wavelength.” – Ricky

Also read: Letterkenny Quotes

Trailer Park Boys Bubbles Quotes

40. “Boys, when the cops get here, tell them I won’t resist. I’ll be in my shed hyperventilating.” – Bubbles

41. “This here’s my shed, right here. I’ve been living in these most of my life. A lot cheaper than a f*cking trailer.” – Bubbles

42. “Ricky, those laws are there to protect kids, not so goofballs like you can put them in the car with no door on it, and drive around the f*ckin’ neighborhood stealin’ barbecues!” – Bubbles

43. “Used furniture store is not a bad idea, Julian. Keep Lahey and Randy distracted, make a few bucks.” – Bubbles

44. “Jesus, I hope I don’t get pulled over. No license, registration, insurance, not a f*ckin’ thing.” – Bubbles

45. “Ricky, can’t we just have one day of no yelling and just play some hockey?” – Bubbles

46. “Well, that’s a little harsh. He’s not a punk. He might be a bit of a goof, but he’s not a punk.” – Bubbles

47. “Yeah, no kidding. I’m calling the cops then, right now. The real cop’s Randy, not the crazy, fake trailer park, drunk, fat gut crazy cops.” – Bubbles

48. “I’m down with Plato and Socrates and I like to get busy with all the ladies.” – Bubbles

49. “Take a guess! What are sirens usually bolted to the roof of?” – Bubbles

50. “One time I was making a model, and I glued the wing of a B-17 bomber to my bird by accident.” – Bubbles

51. “On special occasions, I always pound the liquor into me, Julian.” – Bubbles

52. “Oh, for f*ck’s sakes! Look at that! That’s my f*cking bubble maker! That was the only thing I had, that my parents gave me before they f*cking deserted me in this shed, which I don’t have anymore! Now it’s just a big melted, f*ckin’ blob of sh*t!” – Bubbles

Trailer Park Boys Jim Lahey Quotes

53. “When you plant sh*t-seeds, you get sh*t-weeds.” – Jim

54. “I beg your pardon; I was only a real cop. I was never an important Mall-Cop like you, Rick.” – Jim

55. “I’m sober enough to know what I’m doing and drunk enough to really enjoy it.” – Jim

56. “The liquor feels like a familiar pair of slippers that you put on and sit in front of the fire.” – Jim

57. “Nice disguise, Bubs. You might be able to fool the FBI, but you can’t fool the FB-me.” – Jim

58. “These things have a way of working themselves out. I’m gonna let the liquor do the thinking.” – Jim

59. “Why don’t you get a life, Rick? Why don’t you go to community college like Julian here? Hey! I got a good idea! You could teach living in a car and growing dope 101!” – Jim

60. “The only difference between me and you is a couple of drinks.” – Jim

61. “Randy, I am the liquor.” – Jim

62. “I might shoot you, and then I might shoot myself. Tell you what, you guess Ricky. Guess who I’m gonna shoot first. Will it be you, Rick?” – Jim

63. “The liquor will do the driving, then we’ll just kick back on booze control.” – Jim

64. “You know what a sh*t barometer is, Bubs? It measures the sh*t pressure in the air. You can feel it. Listen, Bubs. Hear that? Sounds of the whispering winds of sh*t.” – Jim

65. “Don’t you mean, ‘What’s all around comes around,’ Ricky?” – Jim

66. “Randy, I’ve decided to lay off the food for a bit, and go on the booze.” – Jim

67. “I’m mowing the air Rand, I’m mowing the air!” – Jim

68. “Listen, I was unaware that I had an appointment with you, fine people, today. As it turns out I have another engagement: I plan to get drunk!” – Jim

Trailer Park Boys Julian Quotes

69. “Yes you are stupid, that’s why I have to tell you this.” – Julian

70. “You’re here for one reason and that’s to sell drugs, okay? Stay focused, man.” – Julian

71. “Ricky, all you can do is ask and all she can say is yes or no. She’s gonna marry you.” – Julian

72. “Did they just call me Patrick Swayze?” – Julian

73. “I want you outta that car in two days though, Ricky.” – Julian

74. “You’re prostituting yourself out for cheeseburgers again, aren’t you?” – Julian

75. “Listen, just pretend you’re on mushrooms, all right? Just go with it.” – Julian

76. “Randy, a lot of barbecues look alike. You’re probably on drugs or confused or something like you usually are.” – Julian

Trailer Park Boys Quotes From Other Characters

77. “Listen, boy, when you’re under my roof, it’s my rules, and burgers are all about them rules. Burgers were good to me and they’re good to you!” – Phil Collins

78. “I spin more rhymes than a lazy susan, and I’m innocent until my guilt is proven.” – J-Roc

79. “This man can’t represent anyone —your Honor! He’s a complete and total idiot!” – Prosecutor

80. “What happened to the guy I made love with in the bathroom of the Kentucky Fried Chicken? Huh? What happened to that guy?” – Lucy

81. “You know, you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat animals. One hour with Ricky and the dogs on drugs.” – Desiree

82. “Woohoo! Today’s getaway has been brought to you by, the letter F for f*cked in the head, which you are Ricky.” – Conky

83. “5200 bucks a year! Come on! Life’s good.” – Ray 

84. “It’s hard to admit it but, Mum, I’m white.” – J-Roc

85. “Jamie, how many 29-year-old record company presidents operate out of their mom’s trailers? Know what I’m sayin’?” – Linda

86. “In this park it’s one muthafucka for one and all muthafucka for all muthafuckas.” – J-Roc

87. “We ain’t down with killin’, we down with chillin’. Peace!” – J-roc

88. “Like, I’ll go to f*ckin’ jail, you know what I’m sayin’, ’cause I’m hard, right? I ain’t shook about goin’ to jail. But it’s like, I kinda like my freedom, too, at the same time, know what I mean?” – J-Roc

89. “I don’t want a pharmaceutical boner, I want a boner made from love.” – Randy

Sweet Trailer Park Boys Quotes 

90. “You think Lucy is gonna marry me or what?” – Ricky

91. “The thing is when you’re shopping for a ring you gotta take your time because you know it’s my wife we’re talking about. She’s not gonna be wearing one of those Cubic Zarcarbian things, she’s gotta have a nice ring.” – Ricky

92. “Lucy, I’ll be a better father than you will ever be.” – Ricky 

93. “I mean how many fathers can give a nine-year-old daughter a car? I’m just happy I’m in a position where I can do something like that.” – Ricky 

Trailer Park Boys Quotes on Bubble’s Love for Kittens

94. “No cat of mine’s gonna live in a car.” – Bubbles

95. “I’m not running over a kitty to save Ricky!” – Bubbles

96. “Ricky won’t give me my kitty.” – Bubbles

97. “I can’t go to jail. Who will look after my kitties?” – Bubbles

More Trailer Park Boys Quotes on Dreams and Aspirations

98. “I’m either gonna become an electrician, a meat cutter, or I’m gonna get into television and radio broadcasting.” – Julian

99. “Well, when I was a little guy, I always wanted to go up into space, be a spaceman. But you gotta be able to see really—good to do that job.” – Bubbles

100. “Believe it or not ma, some people think I’m gonna make it in this rap game, know what I’m sayin’.” – J-Roc

Do You Have an Addiction That You Badly Want to Overcome? 

While some seemingly have all the luck in the world and are presented with multiple opportunities to succeed, some are stuck beneath the poverty line. Some people in poverty make the most of what they have and garner the drive to rise above the challenges. Unfortunately, some become prisoners of that lifestyle and succumb to the temptation of alcohol and substance abuse.

In Trailer Park Boys, we see the characters struggle to have a fair and comfortable life. They needed to resort to the drug trade, theft, and more just to survive and feed their families. This leaves us with a question—when faced with a similar scenario, would you do the same?

Indeed, behind Trailer Park Boys’ funny remarks, puns, and witty lines about life and friendship, are scenarios that make us think deeply about critical social subjects. They’re indeed victims of poor living standards. But, instead of doing good and doing their best to rise above it, they chose a more problematic path.

Getting out of poverty and living a better life is hard, but making wiser choices will make things easier and more fruitful. With that, we hope these quotes from Trailer Park Boys were able to give you advice on how to live a better life.

Who is your favorite character? Are there any other quotes that you’d like us to add? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below!

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