This user has cared for her infant sibling since her dad’s girlfriend died. When she told him she’d be leaving for college, he got angry and tried to abandon them!
OP (Original Poster) is a 17-year-old girl whose mother died when she was just 12 years old. She was then raised solely by her father.
They had never shared much in common, and OP could tell even from a young age that her father didn’t enjoy trying to raise her as a widower. Luckily, OP was relatively self-sufficient by that age, so it wasn’t too big of a problem.
Later on, OP’s dad began a relationship with a woman, and they moved really fast. She moved in only a month after OP met her, and then a few months after, her dad’s girlfriend got pregnant.
OP admitted that she was initially upset when she heard about the baby, as she felt it was too sudden and that all the noise and stress that comes with a baby would interfere with her first year as a high schooler.
While she never voiced these concerns and frustrations to her father, OP believed he probably caught on through how she acted.
Tragedy Strikes Again
Sadly, the birth went “really awful, ” leaving OP’s father’s girlfriend in “bad shape.” The girlfriend ended up dying a mere month and a half after having her baby.
The pregnancy wasn’t the cause of her death per se, but it was undoubtedly a catalyst or a contributing factor.
Suddenly a Mom
OP’s father was unsurprisingly “hit really hard” by his girlfriend’s death, and OP was stuck caring for the baby constantly for the next six months. The stress of the situation had also been affecting OP, and at the six-month mark, she had a breakdown.
Lightening the Load
Her dad finally stepped up and began helping out with his infant. OP also moved into the basement so that she wouldn’t be woken up as often by the baby crying.
She still helped with caring for the baby, but her father was now taking a more active role.
A New Resurgence
Then, in her senior year of high school, her father succumbed to his grief once more and began shutting down again.
OP was forced to tell him that it was “getting too hard to juggle” her classes and assignments with the increasing responsibility of caring for the baby. She added that she planned to go to a university “provinces away” the following year, so he couldn’t rely on her like he was now.
Her father was enraged over what OP had said. It was the angriest OP had ever seen her father get.
He then started to pack up his things and go out to his car, intending to leave.
Threats Made Under Duress
In a panic, OP yelled out to her dad that if he left her with the baby, she’d call CPS.
In reply, her father yelled but didn’t leave. Instead, he shut himself up in his room with the baby.
For days, her dad refused to talk to her. When he finally did break his silence, it was to tell OP that what she had done was “a real b**** move” and that he didn’t understand why she saw him as an “abusive father.”
OP tried to explain herself and tell him she doesn’t think that way. But he starts yelling at her about the CPS incident whenever she brings it up.
She can tell that her father is very stressed out about the threat she made. He told her she “wanted his daughter taken away” and had “always hated her.”
However, in all honesty, OP clarified that she does genuinely love her little sister.
OP noted that now the situation feels very “weird and complicated,” and she feels horrible that her dad was made a single father twice. She went on to say, “But I really don’t want to risk my grades and future to care for a baby I never had a say in.”
On top of that, OP feels guilty that she’s made her father “paranoid” about CPS being called. She also feels terrible because she believes it wasn’t an empty threat; if her father had gone through with abandoning them, she really would have called CPS.
Redditors’ Opinions on the Matter
Redditors were quick to leap to OP’s defense. They even gave her many recommendations for dealing with his complicated situation.
One user said, “You need to talk to a professional. Is there a guidance counselor you could reach out to through your school? Your dad needs to see a therapist or find a way to work through his grief for the two of you. He isn’t being a good dad, and he is blinded by his grief. Remember this: it is not on you to be responsible for your sister. He is the parent. Don’t take on this feeling of obligation.”
“Not the a**hole. Sending condolences on your loss. Your father needs counseling to deal with his grief over losing two wives in such a short period of time. You need counseling to learn that what he has been doing is called ‘parentifying’ you. Making you into a parent for the household. That is considered abusive in some situations. His throwing your half-sister at you to raise is considered neglect. His trying to leave the house when he is throwing a tantrum is also considered abuse. He is neglecting both of his children. You and your sister,” commented another Redditor.
Was OP in the wrong for threatening to call CPS, or was her father in the wrong for mishandling his grief and stress? Do you have any advice for her?
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This post first appeared as A 17-Year-Old Threatened to Call CPS on Her Dad After He Attempted to Abandon Her and Her Infant Half-Sister. Now Her Father Claims She Just Wants the Baby “Taken Away!” on Quote Ambition.