This teenager was happy to connect with someone who understood and loved him. The only problem is she’s 27 and pregnant with his baby!
In Cloud Nine
OP (Original Poster), 19, and his 27-year-old girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years. Though some might find it odd, for him, “those have been the happiest years” of his life.
Experience the Field
They met when he was an intern at his local nursery home. In his country, students must intern in a social field to study medicine.
Trainer and Trainee Connection
His girlfriend administers human resources and oversees the interns in that nursing home. The two of them were fond of each other, as they had a lot of mutual interests.
OP initially didn’t think much of it because he usually receives negative feedback for being socially awkward.
Sadly, one of the residents he took care of and grew to like passed away when he was off duty. OP didn’t take it well and was quite depressed for a while.
He wrote, “I was told by my colleagues that this is normal and part of the job. They also told me that I should talk to my instructor about this as she has a decent amount of work experience and could provide me some closure and comfort.”
A Budding Relationship Outside of Work
Without going into details of what they talked about, he and his instructor became much closer over the next few weeks and connected over shared experiences and trauma. When OP’s internship was about to end, he wanted to keep in touch with the instructor, so he asked for her phone number.
An Adventurous Night
She happily granted his request, and since then, they’ve been texting each other regularly. Eventually, she asked him to come to her place, and he ended up staying the night.
He wrote, “It was my first time. Although she had lots of experience, she put in effort to make it special for the both of us.”
This kind of relationship continued for the next two months until OP finally asked her to be his girlfriend. She said yes but asked him to keep things private as she doesn’t like hearing about others’ relationships and would certainly hate for others to learn about hers.
He said, “I would agree to anything if I could be with her.”
A year later, although OP’s parents were deeply against it, he and his girlfriend moved in together and had a “very healthy” relationship. Everything was good until his parents forced him to move back in with them because his father was involved in an accident and needed medical care.
Additionally, OP and his family grew apart over that year because they opposed his relationship.
He wrote, “I think it was a good opportunity for us to reconnect and for them to get to know my girlfriend, but they refused even to acknowledge her.”
A Teenage Father
OP’s parents live a 30-minute drive away, which made it difficult to see his girlfriend every day. At first, she seemed okay with the setup—until one day, she told him she was pregnant.
He said, “I was shocked and didn’t know how to feel about it. I always wanted to build a family and have children, but I didn’t feel ready to be a father yet.”
Neglecting His Troubles
At that point, she was extremely persistent in asking OP to move back in with her. OP didn’t want to be alone in this, but she never listened to his concerns about being a “young dad.”
How Did That Even Happen?
Aside from that, she also never explained how she got pregnant since, as far as OP knows, she was taking the pill, and they didn’t see each other that much. When OP refused to move back in with her and pushed her to consider abortion, she started giving him the silent treatment.
Take Your Pick
Not long after, she gave OP an ultimatum: his parents or her and their child. OP never liked the fact that his parents and his girlfriend never got along, but this was “pushing it too far.”
He wrote, “I love her, but I also love my parents, and I’m not ready to be a dad. I was honest with her and chose to stay with my parents for now, at least, and she hasn’t responded to my texts in a few days. Am I the a**hole?”
The Community’s Reactions
For users, OP’s priority should be to ensure the child is his because, as he explained, he also doesn’t know how the pregnancy occurred.
“Dude, your parents don’t like your girlfriend because she groomed you. You’re not the a**hole, but you need a DNA test and a lawyer. Good luck,” the top commenter wrote.
Another person replied to the previous comment, saying, “Emphasis on the DNA test! OP says his girlfriend got pregnant when she was on the pill during a period when they weren’t seeing each other as often. That seems extremely sketchy.”
Go On With Your Life!
According to Redditors, it’s clear that OP was groomed by his girlfriend and is using pregnancy to cage him with her. They suggested he should listen to his parents and graduate college.
Someone said, “Not the a**hole, but your age difference says a lot about your relationship. I think she used her pregnancy to get you to move in with her. You need to finish college and live your life.”
Another wrote, “A grown-a** woman preyed on a teenager and tried to baby-trap him. You’re 19 and have your whole life ahead of you. Listen to your parents because they have your best interests at heart; the predator does not. Not the a**hole.”
What to Do?
One commenter suggested several things OP should consider doing and how he should decide.
A Redditor commented, “Get a paternity test before making any decisions. Also, make sure she’s 100% pregnant because it sounds like a predatory trap, which would make sense because regardless of how much you care about her or how much you have in common, I can tell you as a 29-year-old woman myself, she is a predator. You were a child, and she was an adult and in a position of power.”
The same person wrote, “This was wrong in so many ways. Stay with your parents. If it does turn out to be your child, you can pay child support or get partial custody if you want it. Do not move back in with her. It’s a trap, and you’ll regret it.”
Was OP wrong for choosing his parents over his adult girlfriend? Do you think she’s really carrying his child?
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This post first appeared as A 19-Year-Old Ditched His 27-Year-Old Pregnant Girlfriend for His Parents. He Was “Not Ready” to Be a “Young Dad,” and She’s Just a Sketchy “Predator” Who Wants to “Trap” Him! on Quote Ambition.