Her sister always excluded her, but she still tried to make her feel welcome. However, enough’s enough, and it’s time for her to draw the line—starting with her daughter’s first birthday party!
A Delicate Relationship
OP (Original Poster) is 22, while her older sister is 24. Even if they’re sisters who are close in age, in OP’s story, it’s clear that they didn’t have a good relationship—and it was not without OP trying to mend their relationship.
Her sister had always had excuses so she could exclude OP from important events in her life. The sad part is she’s also keeping OP away from her nieces.
In fact, she did not invite OP to her first child’s first or second birthday since they “were not on good terms then.” OP also wasn’t invited to her sister’s first child’s third birthday because OP’s ex-boyfriend was invited!
Not Part of Their Milestones
OP was also not invited to her sister’s second child’s birthday. Now her sister’s pregnant with her third child, and she will be having a baby shower.
OP wrote, “My sister told me about her baby shower and what she was doing for a theme but didn’t invite me, and when I asked about it, she said I was not invited.”
Not Giving up on Their Bond
Her sister constantly tried to cut OP out of her nieces’ lives for so long. Despite this, OP always tried her hardest to involve her sister in her daughter’s life.
OP explained that she had had four miscarriages before she had her daughter; there was even a point when she thought she’d never have kids. Her daughter’s dad cheated on her when she was nine weeks pregnant, and since then, she said, “I have had a lot of people think it’s okay to walk in and out of her life,” so this time, she wants to draw the line.
Her sister was with her the night her daughter was born; OP wrote, “It was really the only time she has ever been there for me.” So, she wanted to make an effort to still include her, despite how she had been treated.
First Birthday Party
OP’s daughter is currently eight-months-old, but she’s turning one on December 12, 2023. So, OP’s planning to have an indoor pool party on December 9 to celebrate her.
Sending Out the Invitation
When OP finished organizing the venue, date, and other details, OP sent her sister the information. She told her she’d need to know if she and her kids would be there by the end of September.
She said she was only renting the space when she got paid from her new job by the end of that month.
Not a No, but Not a Yes
Her sister immediately texted her, saying, “I don’t know because I’ll be seven months pregnant by then, and I don’t know how I’ll be feeling.”
OP wasn’t in a rush, but she reminded her sister that she just had to know by the end of September. She wanted to ensure she had enough food for her and the kids.
So Many Restrictions
OP’s sister then said that if she and her kids came, she would “probably just stop by.” She also said the kids wouldn’t be allowed to swim.
Her sister said she didn’t feel like chasing her kids around and didn’t want to get sick from the food.
Offering a Solution
OP understood where her sister was coming from. So, she suggested a solution.
OP said, “I told her I understood, but if that was the case, why doesn’t she stop by and see if someone can babysit for a few while she comes by, but she said she didn’t want to.”
There’s No Point
OP noted that it was “obviously an issue” for her sister and her kids to attend the party, so she told her she “didn’t see a point in her coming.” She told her sister she was removing her and her kids from the guest list, and she could see her niece on her actual birthday.
An Upset Pregnant Woman
After this, OP’s sister got upset and sent all her emotions through a text message.
OP wrote, “She sent a long message telling me she wasn’t going to be treated like crap because she doesn’t want to be around the food and doesn’t want to chase her kids around. Plus, no one was even going to be paying attention to her kids, so what was the point of them being there?”
I Just Want a Drama-Free Day!
At this point, OP was also starting to get agitated. She told her sister it was her daughter’s birthday party; therefore, it wasn’t about her or her kids.
She reiterated that no one at the party could babysit her kids since they have their own kids to take care of. In the end, OP told her sister not to come because she “doesn’t want any drama” at her daughter’s party.
Selfish and Spoiled!
OP’s sister blew up in anger, accusing OP of being a “selfish a**hole.” She said it’s “not always about her kid, and other kids matter, too.”
She wrote, “She told me she doesn’t want her kids around my ‘spoiled brat.’ My daughter is eight months old. She’s the sweetest little girl. My sister’s kids get away with murder, though.”
No One on Her Side
Unfortunately, OP’s relatives had nothing positive to say; they just wanted to “keep the peace.”
So, they, too, have been labeling OP as an “a**hole.” They also told her that she should just let her sister “do anything she wants,” even if she ruined her daughter’s birthday.
Redditors’ Thoughts and Suggestions
For people in the community, OP’s sister was very obvious in the fact that she didn’t want to build a relationship with her. So, OP should never have invited her in the first place.
A top commenter said, “What I don’t understand is why the hell you invited your sister in the first place. She has deliberately excluded and ignored you in the past. Why put yourself through this torment and disrespect? Stop inviting her or reaching out to her. Family does not always come first—especially in your sister’s case.”
Not a Nice Person to Be Around
For others, OP’s sister seemed to be annoying. OP was clear with what she needed; her sister shouldn’t have had to be so lukewarm on her answer.
“Not the a**hole. You’re right; this party isn’t about her. You are nice enough to pay with your own money for the pool party and all of the food. The very least she can do is give you a straight answer,” said one Redditor.
Another person wrote, “Not the a**hole; your sister sounds kinda annoying. I wouldn’t want to be around her; don’t invite her to your daughter’s birthday. It will be better without her.”
Do you think OP should have never invited her sister? What would you do if you were in her shoes?
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This post first appeared as Her Sister Complained and Called Her Eight-Month-Old a “Spoiled Brat,” So She Uninvited Her From Her Daughter’s Birthday Party. Now She’s Labeled a “Selfish Jerk” Who Treats People Like Trash! on Quote Ambition.