This Redditor refused to change and resolve their prenup, just because his wife quit her job. She’s furious and thinks he’s selfish, but was he wrong?
Married for Over Two Years
OP (Original poster), 32, and his wife, 30, have been together for 6 years but have only been married for over 2 years. They also currently have one child together.
Affluent Background
To preface his story, OP shared that he comes from a wealthy background and has inherited and acquired assets in his name. On the other hand, OP’s wife comes from a “lower income background.”
He wrote, “When we started dating, the economic difference was very evident.”
I Do or I Don’t
OP planned to avoid the narrative of falling into the hands of gold diggers like some of his wealthy family members. Although he trusted her, he would only marry his wife if she signed a prenup.
The Agreement
Though this is the case, OP would still provide for her, sharing his privileges with her and providing “the best life” for them as long as they were together.
She had no problem with that and happily agreed to the prenup, claiming she loved him with or without his wealth.
Not a Fair Share
When they married, OP and his wife’s income difference was more apparent in their contribution to their household expenses. Despite both of them working, OP contributes to 70% of their expenses in the household.
A Different Course
Within a year of their marriage, OP’s wife got pregnant, and the couple was understandably “happy about it.” Five months into the pregnancy, OP’s wife also opted to quit her job, and he was okay with it since he made enough money to support his family single-handedly.
New Demands
All was going well until the baby was three months old, and OP’s wife demanded he revoke and resolve the prenup! Though she made the choice to stay home, she claimed that remaining to look after the baby justified revoking the prenup.
Besides, she argued that she was staying home raising their child and “putting her career on the line.” Hence, it was only fair that they didn’t have a prenup.
Duty to Serve
The battle for whether to revoke the prenup ensued, with OP standing his ground. He reminded his wife that he provided financially and cared for the baby whenever he was home.
She replied that it was his “duty as a father.” Using the same logic, OP told his wife that she was also doing her duty as a mother to look after the child and did not deserve compensation!
Tug of War
As OP continued to take his position on the prenup, his wife claimed her place in the family assets. She claimed that she at least “deserved to be on the title of the home.”
Nonetheless, OP insisted that it was a premarital property and that the only way to tag her name on a title deed was by returning to work. Then, they could buy a new property together.
Not Backing Down!
Seeing OP’s unrelenting spirit, his wife claimed that he didn’t care for her and that he was “ruining her life” by controlling the family’s assets. However, OP refused to bow to the pressure and thinks that that’s crazy logic, “not making sense.”
OP wrote, “She is not letting this go and keeps saying I am ruining her life by holding my purse strings so tight.”
Crying Foul?
Even though OP’s wife claimed he didn’t care, he demonstrated unsparing support for his family. Not only did he provide financial support to his family, but he also put money into his wife’s retirement fund.
He also puts his income into a joint account from which they spend. So, now, OP’s asking, “Am I the a**hole for not revoking the prenup?”
Redditors’ Two Cents
Reddit users had mixed reactions, with some on OP’s side asking him not to revoke the prenup as it was her choice to stay home.
One user said, “Don’t revoke the prenup, but if you’re not contributing to a savings account for her living expenses in case you guys separate, this prenup is basically null.”
Others think that OP is controlling, as one commented, “I don’t think OP is the a**hole for not wanting to revoke, but I do think whether consciously or unconsciously he is asserting a form of control over her.”
Don’t Revoke
Some Reddit users supported OP and said he’s been clear with what he wanted from the start.
One stated, “Not the a**hole. Your concerns about protecting your assets were discussed openly before marriage, and both parties agreed to the terms. The fact that she decided to quit her job and focus on raising your child was her choice, and it doesn’t invalidate the initial agreement.”
Another user advised OP, “No, you shouldn’t revoke the entire prenup but some prevision on allocating money because it is hard for a stay-at-home parent to go back to work. She is contributing to the building of your family.”
Postpartum Stress
Several Redditors were concerned that OP’s wife was experiencing postpartum stress, hence the sudden reactions to the prenup.
One said, “She is still in postpartum; it’s really hard. You are all over the place; hormones and needing to feel secure is scary, especially if she’s never had to rely on someone while not working before.”
Another Redditor noted, “OP, please keep in mind that a postpartum woman goes through tremendous hormonal changes for the first one to two years after birth. She’s probably scared of being left, doubting her self-worth, body, etc. It’s all very common, and please try to support her and reinforce how much she means to you and that you are there for her.”
It’s Just Not Right
Some other Redditors didn’t support OP and thought he might lose the battle should this be taken to court.
“The courts in most states will favor a stay-at-home mom who lost out on career earnings over the rich dude,” commented one user.
Sharing similar sentiments, another said, “OP is shooting himself in the foot. He is rich, but he wants his wife working and fund her escape plan instead of staying home with his kids.”
Do you think OP is right not to revoke the prenup? What would you do?
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This post first appeared as A Wealthy Man’s Wife Demanded They Resolve Their Prenup, Saying She’s Putting “Her Career on the Line” by Being a Stay-At-Home Mom. But He Refused, Saying It Was “Her Choice” to Quit Her Job! on Quote Ambition.
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