This user’s boyfriend has a child she is not allowed anything to do with. Now, the ex-wife wants to make a deal and have her pay for her son’s health insurance.
OP (Original Poster) has been with her boyfriend for four years, and they have now been living together for two years since the date of the story’s posting. He was already divorced when they met, and his ex-wife had always been a problem.
Not Quite Right
The ex-wife in question had some issues that made it difficult for her to maintain relationships. She had tried to sabotage OP’s relationship, but OP and her boyfriend had managed to weather the storm.
The strength of OP’s relationship with her boyfriend didn’t make the ex-wife very happy, and she used her son as a weapon. OP’s boyfriend has a 12-year-old son, and his ex-wife has made it clear OP is not to speak to him or have anything to do with him.
Due to his mom’s strange behavior, OP didn’t try to force the issue with the kid. She was worried that his mom would take it out on him or convince him that he didn’t love his mom by talking to OP.
When OP’s boyfriend and his ex-wife got divorced, their divorce decree stipulated that she had to maintain health insurance over her son to get the total amount of child support owed to her. If OP’s boyfriend carries the health insurance, there would be a reduction in the amount of child support.
If You Put It That Way
Once they finalized the agreement, they always stuck to it, and OP’s boyfriend had always paid the whole amount while his ex-wife carried their son on her health insurance. When OP entered the situation, things changed because her work let her put a partner on her health insurance, her boyfriend, and it was better and more affordable.
The Hope in the Future
OP put her boyfriend on her health insurance to help him save money because they were discussing getting married. She didn’t put his son on her health insurance because that would cost a lot more, and she’s not allowed to have anything to do with the boy.
They did speak to his ex-wife because of how good OP’s insurance was, but she refused to let them reduce the child support without going back to court. In the end, OP didn’t care much because her boyfriend’s ex-wife hated her anyway.
OP’s boyfriend supported her decision fully and said his ex-wife would have to take them to court and lower the child support before they should consider it. One of the big reasons is that it would cost OP over $425 out of each paycheck to add her boyfriend’s son.
Offering a Deal
Her boyfriend’s ex-wife has clarified that she wants them to add her son to their health insurance. She had even offered to return some child support money each month because it would save her money.
Lack of Trust
OP didn’t think taking the deal was a good idea because she doesn’t trust her boyfriend’s ex-wife. They also spoke to the judge about it, and neither she nor her boyfriend were about to break the court order.
Are You Serious?
The ex-wife has now gone off about the situation and told OP she was an “a**hole” for not putting her son on the health insurance. OP didn’t think she did anything wrong; the child was rude, and she wasn’t supposed to have anything to do with him.
What the Community Has to Say
Redditors couldn’t believe what the ex-wife was trying to do. Support for OP was high, and many warned her about getting further involved with her boyfriend because of the situation.
One comment revealed a lot of the mood, saying, “Not the a**hole. Don’t trust her, and don’t get too interwoven with that weird ex of his.”
Another broke it down further and pointed out some strange behaviors, saying, “Not the a**hole. You are not married. The child is not your responsibility. Why would you pay $425 each pay period so your boyfriend can pay less child support? That’s equivalent to you paying his child support for him. Let him handle his own business and keep your money separate from his. Don’t take on a responsibility that’s not yours. What makes you think she will give you any money back? Why would you trust her word? She has been clear you’re not to be involved, so don’t place yourself in the middle.”
That’s Not All
It wasn’t just the ex-wife that took heat from Reddit. OP’s boyfriend got his fair share.
One of the commenters brought up an important point, saying, “The health insurance is not the issue here. Why are you with this man? You’re not ‘allowed’ to talk to his son after four years together? And he hasn’t challenged that at all? What a mess. Don’t get involved with his ex, don’t make a side deal on monetary support, and seriously reconsider whether you want to be in this situation for much longer.”
Do you think OP has found herself in a terrible situation? What could she do to make the situation less stressful?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Add Her Boyfriend’s Son to Her Health Insurance Because His Mother Doesn’t Let Her Speak to Him! Now His Mother Wants Her Too, but She Said No! on Quote Ambition.