55 Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes to Escape Your Boredom

These Beavis and Butt-Head quotes will give you many lessons about society and will make you laugh so hard that you won’t be able to sit still.

Beavis and Butt-Head is an MTV animated series about two dimwitted teenagers who find solace in each other’s company. They occasionally act foolishly just because they’re bored, which puts them in absurd situations.

Society may consider these two individuals ignorant because they lack social skills and do not always pick up on social cues. But, sometimes, being oblivious is what we need to be happy.

It’s fine to be naive at times if that will make you enjoy even the littlest things, just like Beavis and Butt-head.

The humor of these two characters resulted in countless hilarious scenes that’ll complete your day. So, read these quotes we’ve collected to know more about Beavis and Butt-head’s journey.

Start here.

And don’t forget to check out these The Boondocks quotes and Archer quotes.

Best Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes

1. “If you love something, and you set it free, and it doesn’t come back—you’re a dumbass.” – Butt-head

2. “The more things change, the more they suck.” – Butt-head

3. “I may be cool, Beavis, but I can’t change the future.” – Butt-head

4. “If everything was like, cool, then how would you know what sucked?” – Butt-head

5. “If they did this chart long enough, they would find out where Herpes began.” – Butt-head

6. “I will fight for you until your heart stops beating. Can I have some of your popcorn?” – Butt-head

7. “Settle down, Beavis. This is only gonna hurt for like a minute or something.” – Butt-head

8. Beavis: “Thinking sucks.”

Butt-head: “Work sucks; let’s go break something.”

9. “I don’t understand what the big deal is about breaking up. I’d just be like, ‘Hey baby, get lost.’ We can still do it and stuff, but I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.” – Butt-head

10. “Everybody thinks babies are cute. Well, they’re not so cute when they are yours, I’ll tell you that right now! Cramping and puking all over you! They cost a damn fortune to feed, and all they do is make your life a misery, just like what you’re doing to your parents right now!” – Coach Bradley Buzzcut

Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes That’ll Forever Be Iconic

11. “I am the Great Cornholio, I need T.P. for my bunghole.” – Beavis

12. “These dudes are pretty cool for a bunch of mimes.” – Butt-head

13. “Hey Butt-head, I dreamed I was at school last night. Do you think that counts for attendance?” – Beavis

14. “Thank you, oh great master, for your wisdom. But we were wondering if you could, like, bite us?” – Butt-head

15. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I simply cannot have students roaming the halls, disrupting other classes, and giving prophecies of a great plague!” – Principal McVicker

16. “And what about your patent disregard for Beavis? Do you not care a rat’s ass for the safety of your closest companion!?” – Coach Bradley Buzzcut

17. “Breaking the law. Breaking the law. Breaking the law.” – Beavis and Butt-head

18. “I’ve got a rock formation in my pants.” – Butt-head

Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes That You Should Read Today

19. “This bowling ball isn’t human! It doesn’t feel pain! It can’t be reasoned with!” – Butt-head

20. “A bed shouldn’t have instructions. Except for, like, ‘Sleep.’” – Beavis

21. “Hello. Yeah, I’d like to order one of those pubic zirconiums.” – Butt-head

22. “Yeah, I know. They’re medical marvels and all, but I really don’t want to change their catheters again.” – Nurse

Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes for a Day Full of Laughter

23. “I hope you have insurance, Beavis, because I’m about to kick your ass.” – Butt-head

24. Butt-head: “My list includes any girl with at least one boob.”

Beavis: “My list is like your list, but it also includes your Mom.”

25. “Dammit, Beavis. You just sent my boner to the ground.” – Butt-head

26. “Beavis, you dumbass! There always has been TV! There are just more channels now!” – Butt-head

27. “I bet they put all the stuff that sucks on in the morning, just so, like, get us to go to school.” – Butt-head

28. Sergeant Dick Leakey: “Has anybody in your family been in the service?”

Butt-head: “Uh, Beavis’s dad was in the Navy.”

Sergeant Dick Leakey: “Is that so?”

Butt-head: “Yeah. He was a seaman.”

29. Burger World Manager: “You don’t get workers’ compensation for fighting; it has to be an accident.”

Beavis: “You mean we, like, need to poop in our pants?”

Bite-Sized Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes to Relive Your Favorite Scenes

30. “That’s the biggest, fattest, hairiest, wart-coveredest butt I ever saw!” – Butt-head

31. “This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before.” – Butt-head

32. “Beavis, you’re one miserable son of a bitch.” – Butt-head

33. “Kick them in the nads, Beavis.” – Butt-head

34. “Get off the ground and stop whining, you wuss!” – Butt-head

35. “Come to Butt-head.” – Butt-head

36. “Beavis, you’re one pathetic piece of crap.” – Butt-head

37. “This guy does everything by himself.” – Beavis

Humorous Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes That Highlight Great Scenes From the Series

38. Beavis: “Hey, Butt-head. You know how sometimes we get a ride home from school, and there’s all those dudes crammed together in the backseat?”

Butt-head: “Yeah, why?”

Beavis: “Um, heh heh, is it normal to get wood?”

Butt-head: “Beavis, you boner-popping pervert—it’s not even normal to ask.”

39. Butt-head: “Uh, I’m like, angry at numbers.”

Beavis: “Yeah, there’s like, too many of them and stuff.”

40. Butt-head: “This video needs, like, more explosions and close-ups of butts.”

Beavis: “Yeah. They should have somebody come out and start kicking these guys. That would be cool.”

41. Butt-head: “Beavis, you monkey spank.” 

Beavis: “Shut up, fart knocker!”

Silly Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes for Your Enjoyment

42. “Did you know, when you eat rump roast, you’re eating a cow’s butt?” – Beavis

43. “Check it out, Butt-head. This chicken has three boobs. How many butts does she have?” – Beavis

44. “What are you all doing? Choking your chicken? Come on, let’s get to pruning.” – Tom

45. “Hey Beavis, I hear that if you fill a room with gas and light a match, all the oxygen, like, disappears, and we’ll get a killer buzz!” – Butt-head

46. “Shut up, Beavis, before I kick your ass so hard it’ll turn inside-out and come out your mouth.” – Butt-head

Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes for Fans of the Show

47. “Shut up, Butt-head. We’re never gonna score; everyone here has probably scored. This old lady probably scores.” – Beavis

48. “When I almost scored with four chicks seven years ago, this one chick’s father brought forth upon me a prostitute. Huh-huh. Because some dudes just weren’t created equal. Huh-huh.” – Butt-head

49. “We’re never gonna score! We’ll get cars and like, we’ll get jobs, and we’ll have to like, mow lawns and scrub the grill, but we’re never gonna score ever! It’s gonna suck!” – Beavis

More Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes That You Will Never Forget

50. “Say one more bad thing about Metallica, and I’ll kick your ass!” – Beavis

51. “I see your spacesuit, like, saved you from the apocalypse. So do you wanna, like, repopulate the earth?” – Butt-head

52. “Beavis, you’re gonna keep talking about loogies, and I’m gonna be too busy swinging around my gigantic schlong.” – Butt-head

53. “They all have this complicated stuff, and it makes the TV do things that look weird. It’s cool. It’s called ‘special.’” – Butt-head

54. Mr. Van Driessen: “Now, I’m sure you have a fantastic concept. I’m going to close my eyes, and I want you to wow me.”

Butt-head: “Uh, is that allowed on school property?”

55. “Agent Hurley, I want you to give this scumbag a cavity search! I’m talking Roto-Rooter! Don’t stop until you reach the back of his teeth!” – Agent Flemming

Did These Quotes Make You Realize That Happiness Can Be Found Even In The Simple Things?

Beavis and Butt-Head is a show full of happiness, humor, and lessons on society. No wonder it became wildly successful during its many seasons! This series is a must-watch as it will motivate us to enjoy every moment of our life.

As humans, we always seek validation and appreciation from society, even if it means draining ourselves. We are risking all our time doing the things that will make other people proud of us. But, we should remember that their satisfaction has nothing to do with us, so we must not depend our happiness on their reaction.

Beavis and Butt-head make us realize that our happiness is dependent on our own choices. These teenagers might be judged and do many dumb things in their journey, but at least they are satisfied with the joy they feel.

So, stop minding other people’s words and start being true to yourself—to what you want. Sometimes, you don’t need to meet society’s standards just to fit in. It’s okay to give yourself some time to breathe; you don’t need to be serious all the time!

We hope these quotes were able to change the way you approach life. Feel free to check this collection again whenever you need some encouragement. Don’t forget to smile and do the things that’ll satisfy you without worrying about society’s reaction!

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Karen Danao

Hi, I’m Karen, a content curator and writer for Quote Ambition; I’m also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, I’m someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics I love writing about! However, my true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.

With the many places I’ve been to, I found that love, inspiration, and happiness are some things that bring people together. No matter how different we are on the outside, I’m a true believer that our emotions don’t lie; if you dig deep into our psyche, we’re all the same inside.

This belief was further amplified when I joined Quote Ambition. Through the quotes I’ve read, collected, organized, and written about, I found that humans are resilient, creative, and compassionate.

We take from each others’ hearts and courage, and it’s through our individual experiences that we learn how to rise above our challenges and pain. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere!

You can find me on MuckRack and LinkedIn.