This Redditor was excited to go on a vacation with his husband and his family. However, everything turned sour because of his mother-in-law’s biased views and opinions!
A Week-Long Family Vacation
OP’s (Original Poster) father-in-law’s birthday was fast approaching, and his mother-in-law planned a week-long trip with all four of their kids and respective partners.
They rented a lovely house near the beach, and the couples split the total cost.
The day OP and his husband drove to the house, they were surprised to see their “pre-assigned room.” They had two single beds, and at first, they thought it wasn’t a big deal since they could push the beds together.
Soon they realized that the headboards were attached to both the wall and the frame, and they couldn’t move them an inch!
Stop Making a Fuss!
So, OP immediately asked his mother-in-law why she chose a house with insufficient double beds for the couples invited. However, she only told him to “stop making a fuss” because “it wasn’t that big of a deal.”
Why Didn’t You Tell Us?
When OP asked her why they weren’t informed beforehand, she rolled her eyes at OP.
He wrote, “She rolled her eyes at me, saying that I was overdramatic, a ‘walking stereotype,’ and that me not clinging to her son for a little while might be for the best.”
I Know Your True Intentions
However, OP believed the issue was deeper.
He shared, “Considering she has made some borderline h***phobic comments in the past—she claims they’re jokes—I was quite uncomfortable, and based on her remarks, I felt like she had given the room with the single beds to the only gay couple on purpose.”
Then Let’s Switch
Given this, OP didn’t back down. Instead, he told his mother-in-law that if it weren’t a big deal, she and his father-in-law could switch rooms with them.
But once again, his mother-in-law told him to “quit making a fuss.” Then, she walked away from the conversation.
OP’s husband tried talking to his mom but was unsuccessful. He mentioned that, at this point, he was already at his breaking point.
So, OP asked his husband if he’d be okay spending their vacation at a hotel instead. They had both taken the week off work anyway, so they could just have their own holiday and break.
His husband agreed, and they booked a room a few towns away.
A Furious Mother-In-Law
OP’s mother-in-law accused them of “ruining” her husband’s birthday and “dividing the family.” It turns out that two of OP’s husband’s siblings supported their decision and thought what their mom did was wrong.
The same could not be said for OP’s husband’s one other sibling, his mom, and his dad. They’ve all been texting and calling OP, saying he’s an “a**hole for turning his husband against his family.”
They also said he “egotistically manipulated” the vacation!
Redditors’ Two Cents
For the community, it seemed like OP’s on the right track.
A top commenter said, “Not the a**hole, based on her behavior. From what you’ve said, it does sound like she intentionally gave ‘the gay couple’ separate beds. You didn’t ruin the vacation. Her h***phobia did.”
She Meant It
Others noted that OP’s mother-in-law was anything but joking.
“The mother-in-law called OP a ‘walking stereotype’ and said he was ‘clinging’ to his own husband. I don’t understand some of the other comments playing dumb like this wasn’t h***phobia when it obviously was,” said one user. Another said, “There is a somewhat common stereotype that gay people are just all over each other all the time. It also feeds into the bulls***, that is, assuming gay people are trying to groom children constantly. It basically boils down to the h***phobic assumption that if you are gay, you are automatically a deviant with no control.”
Her Biased Opinions Are Old School
For Redditors, it was time for OP’s mother-in-law to wake up.
One said, “Time for you both to be the most flamboyant walking rainbows on Earth whenever she’s in the vicinity. F*** her and her bulls*** antiquated hatreds.”
Another noted, “I think there’s also an element of s**ual condemnation—if that’s the right term? Many people see daily life as lived by queer people as inherently s**ual and often kinky at that. A peck on the lips isn’t just a sweet gesture between sweethearts; it’s ‘shoving your s** life down our throats.’ So maybe this mother-in-law is like, ‘Can’t you go five nights without annoying my son, and within hearing distance of his entire family, you’re such an over-s**** stereotype?’”
She Ruined the Trip!
Some also comforted OP, showing him that his mother-in-law could have taken a completely different approach.
One noted, “There’s a way that this could have been a non-issue. The mother-in-law could say, ‘Yes, we didn’t realize until we got here that this room only had single beds, and they couldn’t be moved. I’m sorry you have to be stuck in that room. I hope you don’t mind,’ or whatever. Then it would probably feel a bit more like a tantrum if OP was all, ‘No, I hate it.’ because sometimes s*** like this happens. Or even like they said—contact everybody beforehand, ‘Hey, this is the house we want to rent, but there’s one room with only twin beds. Is there anybody who doesn’t mind taking that one?’ And then they can all work it out among themselves. The fact that the mother-in-law was being snarky and clearly had an agenda definitely makes it ‘not the a**hole.’”
Who do you think was wrong? Could OP’s mother-in-law have handled things better?
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This post first appeared as He and His Husband Left Their Family Vacation After His Mother-In-Law Forced Them to Sleep in Separate Beds. Now He’s Called a Jerk for “Egotistically Manipulating” and Ruining the Trip! on Quote Ambition.