A man and his wife had difficulty finding a baby name they liked. When they did, they made their families take an oath of silence not to judge the name, but it was broken!
A Secretive Post
OP (Original Poster) didn’t offer many details and posted using a secret account so his brother-in-law wouldn’t read it. He began by saying that he and his wife are opposites and that it’s their “greatest strength and weakness.”
Hard to Agree
He and his wife went through many baby names when they discovered they had a kid. It took them a lot of searching to find a name they both liked, but they finally did.
An Unusual Name
When they settled on the name, it was unique for their area. OP thought it sounded great, had a “deep meaning,” and was “empowering yet delicate.”
Dramatic Persona
OP didn’t even say the name because he said that it would make him cry if he did. He loved the name so much and was so upset about the situation.
Making an Oath
At their gender reveal, OP’s mom and his wife’s mom and dad promised not to suggest names or tell them what they disliked. He and his wife promised each other they would keep the name secret until the baby was born, when they would surprise their families with it.
Bleak Night
Then, OP was working late one night when his wife texted him and told him she was “in tears” because her mom had said she hated the name “out of the blue.”
She told OP, “One of her husband’s coworkers had a daughter they named a hideous name. Please don’t name your baby this name.”
Something Isn’t Right
There was no way that OP’s mother-in-law had come up with the name out of the blue.
Plus, he knew the colleague she spoke of because he trained with him, and their daughter had a version of the name he and his wife had picked, not the actual name. He said, “Like comparing Alex to Alexander or Donatello to Don.”
How Could You?
The fact that this happened made OP angry, and he told his wife, “Really? Do you expect me to believe she randomly pulls this uncommon name out of the blue to say she doesn’t like it? Breaking the oath both our families made in front of us?”
He told his wife that she should take her mother to get a lottery ticket if that was true because there was no way he could believe what had happened.
Trying to Be Innocent
OP’s wife dug in her heels at his comment and told him that she hadn’t told her mother the name and that he could ask her himself if he thought she had because he “never believed her.” That was when he called her bluff and said, “Okay, and I’ll ask her why she broke her oath, too.”
Once he said that, OP’s wife backed down and asked him not to talk to her mom.
A Stark Betrayal
The conversation left OP feeling like his wife had betrayed him. Her betrayal hurt him worse because they had been together for 15 years, and she had been his high school sweetheart.
It Gets Worse
Their relationship had changed since his mother-in-law found out they were expecting a child. If he isn’t around, she is very critical of OP, and he said that his wife doesn’t have the spirit or the spine to ever stand up to her mother.
A New Name
When OP is around his mother-in-law, she makes snide comments or little jabs toward him that his wife refuses to see. Despite this, he and his wife tried to devise a new, more acceptable name but had no luck.
A Lasting Impression
In OP’s mind, the name was a done deal, and he’d “imprinted” on it. He doesn’t think of his coming daughter as “the baby” or “it” but instead thinks of the name their mother-in-law doesn’t want them to use.
Rallying for a Last Stand
OP concluded that he was hurt and sad and wouldn’t take it. The baby was his and his wife’s, not his mother-in-law’s.
His mother-in-law had nothing to do with it, so he wouldn’t let her erase the name he loved so much.
A Hill to Die On
He had compromised too much, from the broken promises to the boundaries his mother-in-law crossed, and he wouldn’t give this one up.
He said he was ready to stand his ground and dig in. He chose his battles wisely, and this was one he had to take.
What Redditors Have to Say
Redditors were quick to defend OP, though some had trouble with the significance he placed on the situation.
One Redditor noted that it wasn’t just the name but about enforcing a limit to his mother-in-law’s interference, saying, “Not the a**hole. Die on that hill, my friend, because if you lose the battle over naming your child to your mother-in-law, she’s never going to stop coming for you.”
Other Redditors took note that his mother-in-law’s behavior around him was unacceptable, saying, “Not the a**hole. Nip it in the bud right now before the baby is born. ‘If you want this marriage to be successful, this has to change now. I would never let my child be around someone who talks disparagingly about you. Don’t you think you should do the same?’”
Good Luck!
Many Redditors wished OP luck, while others noted that a mother-in-law who interfered like this was a big problem.
One user encapsulated the mood by saying, “She has already named and raised her children. The baby is yours. Tell her to mind her own business and stay out of yours. Not the a**hole.”
Do you think that OP’s wife betrayed him and told her mother what the name was? What do you think OP could do to make the situation with his mother-in-law better?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Change Their Baby’s Name, Just Because His Mother-In-Law Said It’s “Hideous.” Now He Feels Betrayed Because His “Spineless” Wife Blabbed the Name That’s Supposed to Be Secret! on Quote Ambition.
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