This Redditor’s wedding was almost perfect. However, everything turned sour when they realized that her mother-in-law had invited her husband’s ex-wife to their big day!
The Love of His Life?
OP (Original Poster) met her husband four years after he got divorced. The twist was that everyone in his family referred to his ex-wife as “the love of his life.”
However, OP never thought much about it and didn’t care if that’s what others thought. After all, her husband had assured her that he never considered her as such.
Contrary to what others believed, OP’s husband and his ex-wife’s relationship was “pretty toxic.”
OP wrote, “The relationship grew so bad that the best for both of them was to let go, even when his first wife, Mindy, didn’t believe it.”
Complicated Family Matters
OP admitted that because of what others thought of Mindy, it was hard for her to get accepted into her husband’s family. She said it was especially tough for her mother-in-law to accept her because “she was so, so, so in love with Mindy and adored her as her daughter-in-law.”
Growing Attached to Her
Her mother-in-law and Mindy were so close that she even got depressed when Mindy moved to another state. She didn’t want to be close to her ex-husband, so she had no other choice but to leave their state.
Bonding Over Their Grief
Two years before this story was posted, OP’s father-in-law passed away. Their shared grief allowed OP and her mother-in-law to bond; OP wrote, “His passing crushed her horribly, and my husband and I tried to be there for her as much as we could since he’s their only child.”
Slowly, the joy returned to her mother-in-law’s eyes when OP gave birth to their first son. She shared, “She found a new push to live thanks to him, and even though we didn’t become the perfect family, we are close enough to let my mother-in-law know that she’ll never be alone again.”
When the pandemic began, money became tight for OP’s family. After having their baby, they decided to prioritize their needs instead of wants and other extravagances.
So, they used her husband’s inheritance from his dad and some of their savings to buy a house and have a small celebration when they got legally married. However, her mother-in-law didn’t want a small celebration.
I’ll Cover the Expenses!
Her mother-in-law offered to pay for it since “she was proud of her husband for doing what was best for their son.”
Initially, OP and her husband declined the offer because it didn’t feel right. However, her mother-in-law convinced them by saying that “she didn’t want to miss the wedding just as her husband did if we ended up taking too long.”
Even if her mother-in-law offered to pay, OP and her husband didn’t want to take advantage of her offer. So, they made the ceremony small and even let her mother-in-law have a say in some things.
Sabotaging Her Big Day
However, when the big day came around, OP was shocked to see her mother-in-law walking with Mindy by her side.
OP wrote, “She approached us, and we asked her what was happening. She said she’d invited her to the wedding because it was a special day.”
It Really Was a Special Day
Her husband agreed with what his mom said, saying that it was a special day for him and OP and that “Mindy had no business being there.” He also told his mom that he’d appreciate it if she left.
Her mother-in-law looked at her, but OP agreed with her husband.
After this, her mother-in-law started to get mad. She told the couple that she had paid for the wedding and, therefore, “she could invite anyone she wanted!”
OP and her husband agreed with that statement. However, they both said that Mindy wasn’t “just anyone,” and the fact that she didn’t tell the couple beforehand about this made things even worse.
A Failed Ultimatum
Her mother-in-law then threatened them that if they asked Mindy to go, then she’d leave as well. However, she didn’t expect her son to let her.
So, she ended up saying that she would stay. However, she told the couple they had to tell Mindy about their decision, which OP’s husband “gladly did.”
Can’t Calm Her Down
The rest of the night continued, and OP’s mother-in-law remained in a bad mood.
After the ceremony, OP and her husband offered to pay for half of the expenses or even everything if she wanted. However, her mother-in-law said that “the damage was already done.”
What the Community Has to Say
Redditors think OP’s mother-in-law deliberately tried to aggravate her.
One said, “Not the a**hole. The fact that she quickly pointed out that she is the one who paid for the wedding makes me believe that this was her plan all along.”
Another said, “She absolutely planned to be sneaky about this, or she would’ve told them who she was bringing ahead of time. It sounds like Mindy lives out of state now, so this required planning. It was not a spur-of-the-moment decision.”
For others, OP and her husband shouldn’t have accepted a cent from her mother-in-law.
“This is a reason why I never accept money from others for anything. Most people think they are entitled to make decisions or special treatment if they voluntarily contribute money for something,” wrote one user.
What Were They Thinking?
Redditors couldn’t grasp what OP’s mother-in-law and Mindy were thinking.
One said, “It sounds like OP and her husband were already married; this was just a small reception, which makes it more bizarre. Perhaps the mother-in-law was hoping her son would see Mindy and be swept away with nostalgia and leave his wife and baby.” Another user wrote, “Not the a**hole and really weird that the ex would even want to be there.”
Do you think this whole situation is bizarre? What should OP tell her mother-in-law?
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This post first appeared as She Asked Her Mother-In-Law to Leave Her Wedding When She Brought Her Husband’s Ex-wife as Her Plus One. She’s Furious, but Her Mom-In-Law Insists It Was Right to Invite Her! on Quote Ambition.