This Redditor received a share of his grandmother’s estate when she passed. But all of a sudden, his brothers want a cut! What should he do now?
Seventeen years before this story was posted, when OP was just seven, he and his younger siblings lost their mom. He is now 24, while his younger brothers are 20 and 18.
Then, just three years after his mom died, OP’s dad married his second wife. Unlike him, his brothers quickly accepted their stepmom into the family; OP wrote, “I couldn’t. I had a mom, and she was gone.”
Brothers’ Adoption Process
When OP’s brothers were 9 and 11, their stepmom expressed her desire to adopt the three of them as her own kids.
However, he was 100% against the idea, and so were his maternal grandparents.
Always the Odd One Out
Unfortunately, because his brothers had already accepted their stepmom as their mother, they wanted to push through with the adoption.
OP wrote, “I felt so removed from anyone in the house. I was the only one with my mother’s last name.”
Strong Maternal Bonds
Because of the changes in their family dynamics, OP’s grandparents, aunt, and uncle were his only connections to his late mom. This led him to spend much time with them—perhaps even more so than his immediate family.
OP also had “a lot of fights” with his dad because he wanted to go to his grandparents whenever his family went somewhere for an extended period of time, like vacations.
Fragile Bond and Relationship
His brothers had a bond with her grandparents, but it was nothing compared to the relationship he had with them.
OP wrote, “I guess some distance was created after adoption.”
Goodbye to the Last Connection
Sadly, in early 2023, OP’s grandmother passed away. He had no living maternal grandparents left since his grandfather passed away in 2020.
OP’s fortunate to still have his aunt and uncle, but he’s still “very much grieving” the loss of his grandparents.
When OP’s grandmother died, though, she had a will in which all her estate was divided into three: OP, his aunt, and his uncle.
OP’s uncle is currently helping him with everything and “warned” him not to tell anyone about the inheritance.
Court Documents and Dad’s Demands
Unexpectedly, though, OP got a court mail delivered to his house. Since he still lived at his dad’s place, someone from the family found out about it, and “all hell broke loose.”
Now, OP’s dad is forcing him to explain why he kept the inheritance a secret in the first place. OP retorted, saying, “It’s nobody’s business but mine.”
Greed Working Its Way In
Then, OP’s brothers started asking him to share the money with them. But instead of agreeing, OP immediately refused.
He said they “don’t belong” to his maternal family anymore and would instead inherit from OP’s stepmom.
This angered OP’s brothers, who eventually called him an “a**hole.” But in turn, OP asked them when was the last time they even visited their mom’s grave or even their grandparents—to which they had no answer.
Dissatisfied Family Members
OP’s siblings having no answer to his question further strengthened his argument that they, indeed, aren’t entitled to anything.
After this, OP’s dad got “very angry” and kicked him out. He then told OP that he could only return if he apologizes and shares the inheritance.
His brothers are bombarding him with messages, telling OP how “devastated” they were. But OP’s uncle is telling him to hold his ground because they’re “emotionally blackmailing” him when he didn’t do anything wrong.
So, as a piece of advice, he told OP to “just stand his ground.” But OP’s “conflicted,” asking, “Am I the a**hole?”
The Community’s Take on the Matter
Redditors reminded OP that if his grandmother wanted his brothers to have something, she’d leave them something in her will.
One said, “Not the a**hole. If your grandmother wanted them to have the money, she would’ve included them in the will. She didn’t. She wanted you to have the money. Your uncle is 100% correct. This is emotional blackmail. Stay with him; you’re better off.”
Punishment or Not?
Others argued that OP seemed to be basing his decisions on his brothers’ choices, which they made as kids. But for the rest of the community, no matter what, they aren’t entitled to the inheritance.
One user argued, “A bit of me feels that OP is blaming decisions a 9-year-old and 11-year-old made. Decisions to potentially have a mother figure following their biological mother’s death.”
But another replied, saying, “Not necessarily. There’s also the continually reinforcing decisions they’ve made as they got older and older, including into adulthood. They have repeatedly chosen their ‘new’ family over their old one, continually chosen stepmother over sibling, grandparents, uncle, aunt, etc., etc. Even when they became adults, they still didn’t visit their mother’s grave—or their grandparents’ graves—until they learned about the inheritance.”
Should the OP give in and share? What advice would you give her?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Give His Siblings a Cut of His Inheritance, Saying They’re “Not Family” Anymore. Now He’s Been Kicked Out by His Dad, and His Brothers Are Guilt-Tripping Him! on Quote Ambition.