This Redditor’s father and his wife are adulterers who couldn’t even admit they were wrong. They expect everything to go their way, but this user would absolutely not stand down!
Shameful Adultery
Sixteen-year-old OP’s (Original Poster) father and his wife cannot have children together. OP’s dad had him from his first marriage to his mom, which ended because he cheated and had an affair with his now-wife.
OP was only seven when they found out about the affair, and his mom left his dad right after.
A Cheater’s Efforts
Unfortunately, OP had to split time with both his parents, which meant he was often around his father and wife.
OP wrote, “She tried to be a second mom to me, which I think was s***** after she knowingly slept with a married man. She was dating his best friend at the time, too.”
Goodbye, Mama
Then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, OP’s mother passed away when he was 12 years old.
She got into an accident and was on life support for over a month before OP’s grandparents decided they needed to let her go.
What Hell Must Feel Like
Because of his mother’s death, he had to live with his father and his wife, and he “had no escape from them.” Given their tense dynamics, they tried to make him forgive them and just let go of their betrayal.
Over and Done With
They did a lot of therapy with OP. But he had always told his dad that he would cut off contact with him as soon as he turned 18.
Another Way
Then, three years before sharing this story, OP’s dad and his spouse discovered they couldn’t have kids together. A year later, they started processing to adopt a child from foster care.
Barely His Parents
In February of 2023, during the adoption process, OP was interviewed and asked about his relationship with “his parents.” He corrected them and told them his dad’s wife wasn’t his parent, and his father was only because of blood.
When asked how he would feel about having a sibling, he said, “I would have nothing to do with one and be planning to move and never speak to my father again once I turn 18.”
No One on His Side
With OP’s statement, the social worker looked alarmed. She then asked OP about his dad’s family, and OP admitted that they disowned him after the affair, and the same goes for all of his friends.
Unfit to Adopt
After the interviews, OP’s dad and his wife were rejected, stating they could not provide a suitable environment for a child.
A Superstition
OP’s father’s wife broke down, saying his mom was cursing her from beyond the grave.
He wrote, “She’s really religious and does believe people can send good or bad luck from beyond the grave.”
Growing Indifferent
Several weeks after the news has broken out, OP’s dad’s wife still hasn’t moved on. So, OP’s dad told him he should “take pity” on her and “at least be friendly” to her.
But to OP, it wasn’t something she deserved. His dad countered his argument, and OP wrote, “He said her dream of motherhood is over. I told him I didn’t care. He asked me if I had something to do with that. I shrugged.”
Crushing Their Dreams
OP’s dad took it as OP agreeing, and he got furious and went off on him, saying he was “cruel to punish them this long.” He said they could have given a child lots of love, and it was wrong that OP said things that “got in the way of that.”
“She sobbed for a week when he told her. Am I the a**hole?,” OP asked.
The Community’s Reactions
For the community, OP was only being honest, so he didn’t do anything wrong. His father and his wife broke their family, so it’s reasonable that he can’t forgive them so easily.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. You were asked questions, and you answered them honestly. As long as there were no lies, then you did nothing wrong. It amazes me the number of people that break up a home, move in, or marry an affair partner, and then are all shocked that their kids aren’t happy about it and resent the parent for it. Also, sorry about your mother.”
Getting What They Deserve
Some people also say kids should review their parents before having any more children as it prevents a child from suffering from being in a horrible family. Aside from that, people had no difficulty thinking one or the other might cheat again.
A Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. You gave honest answers to the social worker. Good on you. I wish crappy parents were required to get input from their current children before breeding more children. In all seriousness, I do not believe your interview is why their application was denied, given the high rate of children that need homes.”
The same person added, “Regarding the cheating, they say you lose them the way you got them. Your biological father’s current wife is in for a big surprise when he cheats again. And it has nothing to do with beyond the grave.”
It’s Inevitable
Then, other Redditors pointed out that people like OP’s father and his wife can’t live the life they desire, given what they did.
One commenter wrote, “They could have provided a child with love? Maybe. Could they have raised it with respect and responsibility instilled? Nope. They won’t even hold themselves accountable for their actions. No need to let them ruin a child and raise another person who doesn’t believe in honesty or integrity. Screw them. Tell them you are your mother’s karma, and they can both be childless the minute you can move out. Not the a**hole.”
Another said, “Did the cheaters really think they would have happily ever after?”
What are your opinions on the matter? Do you think OP’s at fault?
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This post first appeared as He Sabotaged His Dad and His Affair Partner’s Chances of Ever Adopting a Baby. Now His Father’s Blaming Him, Saying It’s “Cruel” of Him to “Punish” Them for This Long! on Quote Ambition.
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