This mom couldn’t have been more proud of her son when he shaved his head to support his friend. So, you could imagine her fury when her son’s teacher said he was disrupting their class!
Too Heavy a Burden for a Child
OP’s (Original Poster) 13-year-old son, Theo, is best friends with a girl in his class. Sadly, she was diagnosed with brain cancer almost a year before this story was posted.
Fighting for Her Life
Theo’s best friend is currently undergoing chemo to fight for her life. However, expectedly, she ended up losing her hair.
It was obviously very difficult for her to go through something like this, especially considering her age.
Obsessed With Aesthetics
Sadly, Theo’s peers are at the point in their lives where they believe appearance is what matters most. OP noted, “They have decided that everyone needs to fit into a norm.”
The Bullying
Because of this, a couple of kids in Theo’s class made some “less than kind” comments about his friend and how she looks without hair.
As her friend, Theo couldn’t take it.
We’re in This Together!
So, the week before this story was posted, Theo came home from school and told OP he wanted to shave his head.
She wrote, “I made him think it over a bit to make sure it’s what he wanted because he’d been pretty attached to it over the past several months and had been growing it out.”
My Decision Is Final
However, Theo was adamant that he was certain it was what he wanted. So, OP’s husband shaved his head for him the night before this story was posted.
You Could See It in His Eyes
After shaving his head, OP noted it was “possibly the happiest” she’d ever seen her son. She asked Theo if he’d miss his hair, but he told her, while still grinning ear to ear, that he didn’t care what his hair looked like.
He said it was okay since it would grow back, and shaving his head would make his friend happy.
What a Sweet, Sweet Boy
After everything, Theo called his friend through FaceTime to show her his new look. OP noted that everything about it was just so “incredibly sweet.”
Unexpected Phone Call
However, the day this story was posted, OP got a call from Theo’s teacher about his hair. Theo had already explained why he did what he did, but the teacher wouldn’t have it.
A Distraction
Even with Theo’s explanation, his teacher claimed that some students had been bugging him about his hair. The bottom line is that her son’s teacher accused him of “distracting the other students.”
Unwanted Permission
Theo’s teacher then said she was giving Theo permission to wear hats to school, which was usually against the dress code, to “reinstate the order he’d disrupted.”
OP didn’t understand why her son’s teacher was doing this. For her, Theo was not in the wrong.
Well, That’s Messed Up!
OP told her son’s teacher that Theo would not wear a hat, especially since it would “diminish the sentiment” behind his actions. She also doesn’t condone her son’s classmates’ bullying; in no way is bullying acceptable, but it’s worse because they’re making Theo feel bad for a decision he made out of kindness.
She added, “I told her she was being insensitive to not just Theo, but to his friend—who really is the only one who matters at the moment.”
You Went Too Far
OP’s confident she did the right thing. However, for her husband, though what she did was justified, how she reacted was “rude,” and it might cause negative consequences for Theo.
So, now, OP’s thinking if she was a jerk for responding to Theo’s teacher in the heat of the moment in a way that “wasn’t the kindest nor the most professional.”
Redditors’ Points of View
For Redditors, OP was right to defend Theo. More than that, bullying should never ever be condoned, and Theo’s teacher was wrong to put the blame on him.
A top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. I’d be having a meeting with the school board, asking them why school faculty was allowing kids to bully a cancer patient. You keep defending your son. I promise you; he’ll remember it.”
Another zoomed in on the school, calling them out for not doing their job properly and saying, “Zero tolerance has fallen out of favor and been replaced with full tolerance. Getting the s******** to stop acting like s******** is too hard, so now the nice kids have to walk on eggshells and accommodate the s***** kids’ behavior.”
What Kind of Teacher Is She?
Some teachers on the thread couldn’t understand why Theo’s teacher acted the way she did. For them, she should be defending Theo and his friend, not the bullies.
A woman said, “Fellow teacher here. The teacher should be doing everything in her power to stop bullies, especially for a cancer patient. Your son shaving his hair could have been a ‘teachable moment’ about solidarity and empathy, but instead, she wants to act like he’s the problem?”
Another said, “Hopping on the top comment to add that OP is raising an amazing kid. A+ parenting! And yes, escalate this. It’s a teachable moment for the class bullies, including the teacher.”
How would you deal with this situation? Is there anything you would’ve done differently?
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This post first appeared as Her 13-Year-Old Son’s Teacher Said He “Disrupted” the Class’s Order When He Shaved His Head to Support His Friend Diagnosed With Brain Cancer. She’s Furious and Said She’s Being “Insensitive!” on Quote Ambition.
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