What happens when one of two children gets nothing out of an inheritance? This is the same dilemma that this 70-year-old woman had. Should she leave everything to her children or split it?
A Millionaire
OP (Original Poster) never thought she would become a millionaire so late in life—she’s already 70! However, this is precisely what happened when her late aunt left her a $1.1 million inheritance!
The Dilemma
The money was completely unexpected. Per OP, she and her 68-year-old brother had always thought her late aunt would split her fortune between them and that it would be split evenly.
Affluent Lifestyle
OP’s brother is wealthy and has “always lived a very affluent lifestyle.” She shared that he had taken many trips around the world as well as to his multiple condos in Florida.
She shared, “He is a successful professional and has always been much wealthier than me.”
Kids or Lack Thereof
While OP has 2 kids of her own in their 30s, her brother was child-free. Both of her children “are happy and well, but neither of them is wealthy.”
She wrote, “Like me, they both are working ordinary middle-class jobs that pay far less than what my brother has been able to earn throughout his life.”
Adult Depression
What complicates everything is that her brother has suffered from depression for most of his adult life. So, learning about her late aunt’s will left him “extremely despondent.”
Second Thoughts
So, when OP received the money, her first reaction was to comfort her brother and tell him she would give him half of the inheritance—just like what they had always expected to happen. However, now that it’s been a couple of weeks, OP is beginning to have second thoughts.
She wrote, “I wonder why should I give my brother over a half million dollars when I could be giving it to my children who need it far more than him?”
Her Brother’s Complaints
OP mentioned that her brother has “loudly complained that life is unfair.” He even said that their late aunt must have hated him.
His Manipulative Tendencies
However, things have gotten worse since her brother started trying to manipulate her. She said he says or implies that OP “doesn’t deserve the money” because he did much more for their late aunt when she was alive than OP did.
Though OP can’t be 100% sure if her brother is saying these things because of his depression or if he’s trying to manipulate her, OP is certain of one thing. She said, “He seems to want me to feel guilty for having inherited all the money.”
I’m Content
Even with everything, OP said she loves her brother very much and sincerely wants him to be happy. She also shared that she was content with her current lifestyle.
OP wrote, “I am not rich, but I’m well enough off that I don’t need the money for myself.” However, OP is still not set on giving her brother half of what she inherited.
My Kids Would Be Better Off
OP was considering leaving the money to her children instead of her brother. She was sure this would help them improve their quality of life when she passed.
The Consequences
But if OP pushed through with this plan, she was sure she would destroy her relationship with her brother. She said she might even have to move away from the town they both lived in now.
OP wrote, “I enjoy my social life in this town, but my brother is central to it. If I give the money to my children, my brother may isolate me from his social circle, leaving me with a much poorer social life. Not to mention he will be very unhappy.”
Profound Thoughts to Consider
OP said she disliked being afraid of something like that. However, she isn’t as young as she used to be.
At the same time, she is thinking, “If I give the money to my brother to retain his affection and my social life, how will I be able to enjoy it?”
It’s a Speck of Dust to Him
Apart from giving him half or nothing, OP also contemplated whether giving her brother less than half would appease him. But it seemed like a worse idea.
She said, “It all seems even worse—$100,000 is nothing to him.” OP was confused and tired of everything and wished their late aunt had just left everything to her brother.
What the Community Thinks
For Redditors, OP’s late aunt might have known or seen something she wasn’t aware of when it came to her brother.
“Not the a**hole—for whatever reason, your aunt decided to leave all of her money to you. Maybe because, exactly as you pointed out, he’s more secure financially. However, this wasn’t your call and does not justify your brother manipulating you, using his depression as leverage into giving him ‘his’ half of the money. Do with it as you see fit, and if he does ice you out of your social circle, those people were never your friends anyway,” said a top commenter.
Another said, “Your aunt knew something you didn’t. I would trust her judgment. It’s possible he’s been having his share of his inheritance over the years while she was still alive.”
You Might Be Better off Without Them
Other users noted that OP should think about whether her so-called friends are really her friends if her brother could influence them to do something against her. Additionally, people asked OP to step back and see if she might not have been aware of a different side of her brother.
One wrote, “If you lose your ‘friends’ that easily, they were never your friends, to begin with.” Another Redditor said, “Money makes people do some very shady stuff. You’re not the a**hole, OP. If you decide to tell him to see his reaction, I would make sure that you have your wishes written down somewhere safe. I hate to say it but be careful.”
Should OP split the money? What advice would you give?
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This post first appeared as She Received a $1.1 Million Inheritance From Her Late Aunt, While Her Wealthy, Child-Free Brother Got Nothing. Now He’s Trying to Manipulate Her Into Feeling “Guilty” and “Undeserving” of It! on Quote Ambition.
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