When her mom was diagnosed with cancer, she was the only one who cared for her. Unsurprisingly, she received most of her mother’s estate when she died, but now her brother wants more!
Losing the Battle
OP’s (Original Poster) mom passed away before she posted this story. She had been struggling after a long battle with cancer, and it was time for her to rest in peace.
While her mother’s health was failing, she was the one who took care of her for years; she cooked her meals, fed her, bathed her, and took her to every appointment. OP spent all her time with her mom—all while working full-time and caring for their house.
Always by Her Side
She didn’t mind doing those things even though she was never asked to do so. OP just wanted to because of everything her mother had done for her.
Her mom was also admitted to the hospital several times, and she slept there to be near her and help when the nurses were busy.
The Boy Who Never Grew Up
On the other hand, her 30-year-old older brother never did anything to look after their mother, even though they lived in the same house. He might be older, but he has always been “coddled” and “babied” by their parents.
OP added, “He never had to take any responsibility for anything and bailed out of every situation he gets himself into.” It was quite obvious that OP was the more responsible one, as evidenced by the house’s lease being in her name.
Mom’s Last Wishes
When her mother passed away, she appointed OP as the executor of the will and left her some money and land back in their country. So, everything that wasn’t mentioned in her mom’s will, she decided to split down the middle.
OP noted, “There also happened to be a larger life insurance policy that she left only to me.”
Not Wholly Left Out
Feeling bad, OP decided to gift her brother a portion of that, just under $20,000, along with the split amount and the equal parts of 2 smaller insurance policies. However, this wasn’t enough for her sibling.
Unequal Distribution
When OP went over what was being dispersed and showed her brother the will, he became upset as he wasn’t getting as much as she was. But never once did he help her with any of the estate proceedings—having the will probated, final taxes, finding a lawyer, and other things.
A Quick Shift
In an update, after thinking about things and her history with her brother, OP decided she would be rescinding the gift offer and would be splitting everything as stated in the will. From then on, there would be no gift offers of any kind and anything that isn’t covered in the will shall be split equally.
OP added, “I have had to get a lawyer involved, which will come out of my pocket, but it is what it is.”
Goodbye, Brother!
She also made her brother move out of the house. OP added, “I’m changing the locks, so he has no reason to return to my home.”
Frightening Behavior
This, however, wasn’t only because of the issue with the inheritance. Aside from problems with the money, OP’s brother had a “meltdown” about his finances.
He started “damaging” the basement, leading to OP’s pets getting “terrified.” When she asked him to calm down and keep things down, he just cursed at her!
Heated Conversations
OP was shaken up by her brother’s response that she took several days to send him a message saying he could no longer use her car. For context, she explained that her brother was using it to get to work after he crashed his own vehicle when he drove under the influence of alcohol.
She added, “My message also said that rent was no longer accepted after the first, that the probate was taking longer due to a delay with the court, and that a loan he had given me would be repaid in March. Lastly, if he disrespected me again, he could find somewhere else to live.”
What a Comeback!
When he wrote back, he basically told OP that he and their mother “subsidized” her adult life and accused her of being “dishonest” and “robbing him” of her car and the estate.
OP added, “He demanded back a TV he had given me and demanded the entire loan back without paying for February rent. He said he was moving out at the end of the month and that he wanted the entire loan of $1,200 back.”
Dangerous Tendencies
So, OP responded with a lengthy email covering all the “disrespect” he has shown her throughout the years, such as “threatening to kill” her multiple times, nearly “stabbing her to death” over a transit card, and much more.
OP added, “I outlined that his contribution was not equal to half the cost of the expenses in the house and that when he wasn’t living here, he had no clue who was paying the rent or who paid for the car my mom had as she wasn’t working which was me.”
A Sister’s Affinity for Her Brother
Then, OP told him about the loans she sent him through their mother so that he wouldn’t know it was her and reminded him that he received a benefit from living at her home. If it weren’t for her approval, he wouldn’t even be living there.
She wrote, “I told him I accepted his notice and that since he hadn’t paid for rent for February, I was withholding February rent and scraped together to send back the difference in the loan. I told him the probate was now being handled by a lawyer.”
No Means No
Looking back, OP believed she accepted many things, which she shouldn’t have, from her brother only because her mom asked her to. OP knew that her mom just wanted her kids to be together and to get along, so she’d never put the blame on her.
She’s also tried to honor her mom even in her absence, but now that she’s truly gone, OP no longer has that obligation. She has felt happier than she’s been in years and is excited about this new chapter of her life.
Redditors’ Thoughts and Suggestions
For Redditors, it’s clear that there’s a reason why OP was left with most of the inheritance, and the will should only be executed the way her mother wanted it.
A commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Respect your mother’s last wishes. If she wanted to give more to your brother, she would have. Your brother is being greedy. Don’t let him. In fact, if it’s not too late, don’t give him extra. It’s okay to change your mind.”
Another person added, “Not the a**hole. He’s lucky he’s getting anything. Your mom clearly left things to you for a reason, and you’re being very generous.”
A Good Daughter
Others also noted that it was only fair and just that OP gets more since she’s the one who’s been with her mother all the way.
A Redditor wrote, “Not the a**hole in the least. It is very fair that you spent more time and more effort to be with your mom in her dying days and took full care of her, so you should get the largest share of the inheritance. You are being more than fair to him. It would not be unfair if you kept everything that wasn’t specifically willed to him.”
The same person added, “And you are a good person to have taken care of your mom. It can be very difficult work, draining both mentally and physically. The fact that you did it gladly shows how much you loved her.”
What would you do if you were OP? Do you think she made the right decision?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Equally Split the Hefty Inheritance She Received From Her Mom With Her Toxic and Abusive Brother. He’s Threatening Her, but She’s Sticking To Her Mother’s Last Wishes! on Quote Ambition.
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