This Redditor’s fiancé planned to let go of everything his grandparents worked so hard for, so she advised against it. But now her good intentions blew up in her face!
OP’s (Original Poster) 24-year-old fiancé came from a wealthy family. Due to some bad blood between his grandparents and parents and the latter’s history of addiction and poor choices, he became his grandparents’ direct heir.
Her fiancé’s grandmother has cancer, and his grandfather now requires around-the-clock care. OP noted it was “hard to tell” how much time they had left.
So, they ultimately decided to sign away everything to her fiancé before it was too late.
Hard Work Always Pays Off
Then, OP shared how her future grandparents-in-law are immigrants who worked “very hard” for what they have. None of what they had now would be theirs if it weren’t for their perseverance.
Offering a Stepping Stone
They’ve also constantly offered to buy OP’s fiancé a house and pay off his student loans. The couple has also tried to invest in a business for him.
This all started when her fiancé turned 18, but until now, he refused their offer.
Not “His Money”
OP’s fiancé consistently stated that their offers made him “uncomfortable.” After all, it wasn’t “his money,” even though his grandparents treated it as such.
Behind Your Back
Recently, OP’s fiancé had dabbled in the idea of starting a business, and she threw her full support behind him.
She said, “He’s financially very responsible, has a good brain for investments, and seems to have a real passion for his idea, so I love it.”
However, when OP’s fiancé’s mom heard about his plans, she immediately brought up the possibility of his grandparents passing away soon. She said he needed to “seriously think” about what he was going to do with his inheritance.
But to OP’s surprise, her fiancé said he didn’t want their money and would most likely donate it. Although shocked, she didn’t say anything until they got home.
When they got home, OP immediately said that she thought it was “disrespectful” that he planned to give their hard-earned money away.
She wrote, “They worked hard to be able to provide for their descendants, and if they didn’t want him to have it, they wouldn’t be giving it to him.”
Let the Hurtful Accusations Begin
OP’s fiancé immediately angrily accused her of “only wanting money.” For OP, however, this was ridiculous as she had already agreed to sign a prenup.
She added, “Now he’s giving me the silent treatment.”
Two Sides of Every Coin
She shared that she understood that the money made her fiancé uncomfortable, especially since he repeatedly stated that he didn’t want to gain wealth because of the death of his grandparents.
Because of this, part of OP believes she’s an “a**hole” for accusing him of being disrespectful. She thinks it made her fiancé feel she didn’t account for his emotions and thoughts.
Clearing the Air
In an edit, OP also clarified that though people think she’s a “gold digger,” she wasn’t.
She said, “I can now see how my post made it seem that way. My fiancé and I first met when we were 16, and we started dating when we were 17—5 years before he confessed and told me that his grandparents were extremely wealthy.”
Not Claiming Any Ownership
She also wanted to clarify that she never and will never think that her fiancé’s money is her money.
OP wrote, “I’ve never claimed that it was and never implied or said in my post that I didn’t support whatever he chose to do with it, only that I thought it might seem to be disrespectful, and besides this one time, I was never the one to bring it up.”
Insights From Redditors
For Redditors, OP was only giving her opinions. If anything, she was only trying to help her fiancé think about things rationally so he wouldn’t regret anything in the future.
“Not the a**hole. He will likely regret this, especially after he has a family to look out for. And plus, his grandparents worked hard to provide for their family and ensure their stability. Why would he disrespect their legacy by giving it all away? It’s not about profiting from their death but about them leaving a legacy of protection for their family. He should not make any decisions while grieving. He clearly loves his grandparents, and grief can cause people to make strange, and not ideal, decisions,” said one Redditor.
Another said, “Not the a**hole. I see your point; it’s not the money, it’s the sentiment. The fact is that his grandparents want the opportunity to assist their grandchild in his future once they’re gone. It’s very sweet that they love and care for him so much!”
Others noted that OP could help her fiancé open up to his family about his feelings. This way, no one would be going into anything blindly.
One Redditor wrote, “I would suggest trying to encourage him to have a real discussion about the way he is feeling. I think it might help him feel a bit better in the end.”
The Best Way She Could
Then, people also mentioned that OP wasn’t pushing or forcing her fiancé to do anything.
Someone said, “Not the a**hole, in my opinion. Yes, ultimately, it’s his decision what to do with the money, and I am seeing a lot of people saying that. But you didn’t force him to do anything. You’ve just pointed out that his grandparents might be upset to find out that he gave away the money that they wanted him to have. Which I can imagine might be quite likely.”
The same person added, “You would be the a**hole if you were pushy about it, but honestly, I really don’t see how you are the a**hole just for pointing out that perhaps his grandparents would not be happy about this choice. You’re just giving him something that I feel is quite important for him to consider. What he does with that is up to him. Perhaps you shouldn’t have said it like an accusation, but it’s a valid point that should be considered.”
Do you think OP was overstepping? What do you think her fiancé should do?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Let Her Fiancé Donate the Massive Inheritance He Received From His Ultra-Rich Grandparents. Now He’s Giving Her the Silent Treatment, Accusing Her of Being a “Gold Digger!” on Quote Ambition.