This user married her college sweetheart but was unprepared for how racist his parents were. After a year, they cut the parents out of their lives, but now that she’s pregnant, they want back in!
A Tale of Two Worlds
OP (Original Poster) is a 28-year-old Latina woman who married a 29-year-old white man. They met while they were in college, fell in love, and got married two years before the date of her post.
Not So Fast
While OP and her husband had a loving, happy relationship, her parents-in-law did not see things the same way. They would make snide or rude comments about OP, always being indirect.
Not One of Us
They never accepted OP into their family and often treated her like she was a stranger. It got so bad OP asked her husband to choose between her and his family, and he decided to stay with her.
The two cut off contact with his family after he had made his decision. They weren’t going to allow any racist negativity into their lives.
She said that he had always protected her from the comments, but she couldn’t stand the constant disrespect they gave her. It hurt every time she had to speak to them because she knew how they felt about her.
Bringing Life Into the World
They hadn’t spoken to his parents in a long time, and OP was now seven months pregnant. She doesn’t know how it happened, but somehow, her husband’s parents found out about her pregnancy.
OP doesn’t know how they got her husband’s number, but they started calling and texting him. They apologized for how they had been before and wanted to meet their grandchild when it was born.
They both claimed that they had changed and weren’t going to be racist anymore. They felt that OP and her husband shouldn’t deny them the chance to meet their grandchild.
Don’t Think So
OP didn’t believe them and maintained that she wanted her child to have no contact with them. She couldn’t bring herself to trust them and was afraid they might do something to harm her and the baby.
A Mother’s Love
OP didn’t want the child to have to hear all the horrible things that she had to hear from them. She didn’t think they deserved to be in her child’s life after “everything they’d done.”
The Family Question
Despite everything, OP’s husband remained torn on the question. He understood where she was coming from, but he missed his parents and wanted to believe that they could change.
A Step Further
Not only did OP’s husband want to give them a chance, but he also wanted her to give them a chance. She told him that he could do what he wanted but that she wouldn’t allow them near her baby.
OP clarified to her husband that this was her final decision and that he had to respect it. He was angry with her but agreed, and they haven’t discussed it since.
Redditors’ Two Cents
Many Redditors shared their personal experiences and sided with OP on this one.
One said they understood her point of view, relating their story, “Please don’t. My grandma was a loving woman who was bigoted. She loved me but never forgot I was ‘colored.’ She told me never to go out in the sun because I would ‘get too dark,’ and told everyone I was ‘Italian,’ not Puerto Rican, and when I misbehaved, she said I was ‘bad’ just like my dad. Do not let these people near your child. They may love the pieces they see of their son but won’t forget what they don’t like about you. It will mess your kid up.”
Another brought up a point about relationships: “They’ve ‘changed,’ but only towards their grandchild. They will still be racist trash towards you because you are not related to them.”
A Lot of Feelings
Many Redditors have had to deal with situations like this in their own lives and shared that with OP.
One noticed something others hadn’t mentioned, saying, “Have they tried to make amends to you for how they treated you? If not, they haven’t changed because that’s what a person who has changed would do: apologize for being a f****** a**hole. Point that out to your husband and remind him that his child is the race they find appropriate to attack. Does he want to expose his child to that? Don’t let your kid around them. But if your husband misses them, there’s no reason he can’t see them alone, not at your home. Both you and your child deserve to be safe in your own home, and inviting racists over is the opposite of safe.”
Do you think that OP is overreacting to the situation? Do you think that she should give her husband’s parents a chance, or has that ship already sailed?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Let Her Husband’s Parents Have Contact With Her Baby Because of Their Racist Remarks Towards Her. They Claim They’ve Changed, but She Doesn’t Believe Them! on Quote Ambition.