This Redditor considered his wife’s daughter his own, so he banned his mom from his wedding after she said hurtful words about her. However, his relatives are insisting that he should give her another chance!
The Love of His Life
OP (Original Poster) is a 33-year-old man marrying the love of his life. His fiancé has a 10-year-old daughter, but her biological dad is not in the picture.
He said she was five when he and his fiancé met, and he considered her his daughter through and through.
The Start of Their Relationship
OP and his fiancé only started dating around three years ago when she finished college.
He shared, “We met when she was a student teacher at the school where I work.”
Shunned by Her Family
It seems OP’s fiancé’s family did not take her getting pregnant at an early age well.
He wrote, “She worked her a** off as a single mom to get her high school diploma and then her teaching degree after her parents kicked her out when she got pregnant.” Thankfully, they eventually reconciled, and OP’s finacé’s parents helped her with her daughter while she finished school.
Adopting Her Daughter
OP truly considered his soon-to-be wife’s daughter his own, so he was going to adopt her.
He said, “For the last two years, her daughter has been my daughter. I am adopting her as part of our wedding. Because I am her dad.”
To give some background, OP said he and his fiancé were Caucasian. However, their daughter is of mixed race.
One day, OP heard his mother say she couldn’t wait to have a “real grandchild.” That irked OP, and he immediately asked what she meant by what she had just said.
OP’s mom didn’t back down from the challenge.
Instead, he shared, “She said that she just means it’s obvious that my daughter isn’t biologically mine. She says that she wants a child that is obviously her grandchild to show off.”
I Can’t Believe You
He was so mad and frustrated. OP couldn’t believe, “in a million years,” that his mom could have said something like that.
You’re Not Welcome
Things escalated quickly, and OP told his mom she wasn’t welcome at his wedding. He also told her not to worry about being seen with “his daughter” because she would never see any of his kids.
Not Her Fault!
Since the confrontation, OP’s mom has been blowing up his social media. She told him that it “was not her fault” that OP “couldn’t understand how she felt.”
Trying to Remain Calm
OP wanted to block his mom on all platforms, but he couldn’t because she and his dad shared accounts.
He, however, wanted to call her out for being a “racist b****.”
Does She Deserve a Second Chance?
His relatives are trying to make him calm down and give his mom a second chance. However, OP said, “I don’t want her and her attitude near my family.”
It’s Your Call
On the flip side, OP’s fiancé is letting him make his own decisions in this matter. She said it was his call.
However, OP knows that she’s hurt by what his mom said.
Time to Talk
In an edit, OP said he wasn’t 100% sure she was coming from racist beliefs. However, he was confident his mom thought his daughter was “less than,” and he wouldn’t have that.
He ended by saying, “I’m seeing Mom today. We will talk.”
What the Community Has to Say
Redditors commended OP for having a good heart. It was nice to see him care for his soon-to-be wife’s daughter as if she were his own.
One said, “Nowhere in there do you refer to her as a stepdaughter or otherwise give any impression that you see her as anything other than your daughter. Regardless of how or when she and her mother came into your life—not the a**hole.”
Is Blood Thicker Than Water?
One Redditor who was also in similar shoes to OP shared his experiences and said he did the right thing.
He wrote, “No, you were right. You have a daughter. I have had both biological children and an adopted child of a different race. I can tell you the love is the same because there have been times I literally thought she was my biological child. At her six-month-old check, the doctor noted she was tall, and I thought, ‘Duh, I am tall.’ Then I realized my genes had nothing to do with it. Every child is a different person and beautiful in that way. But I know from experience that being a father is not just biological.”
What do you think about how OP reacted? Could he have done things in a better way?
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This post first appeared as His Mother Insulted His 10-Year-Old Adopted Daughter by Saying She’s “Obviously Not His Biological Child” Because of Her Mixed Race, so He Banned Her From His Wedding on Quote Ambition.