A young woman just got married, and everything went great. Three months later, her mother and father-in-law plan to do a vow renewal and her mother-in-law requested to use her wedding dress for it.
The Start of a Beautiful Life
OP (Original Poster) is a 24-year-old woman who just married Marcus, a 25-year-old man. They married three months ago, and the wedding went perfectly, with no hitches or problems.
A Family Inspiration
The wedding inspired OP’s mother-in-law, Rose, a 46-year-old woman, and father-in-law, David, a 47-year-old man, to renew their vows.
They set a date that was a month out, and the entire family was excited for them.
Just Like Her Parents
OP thought it was a great idea, and she was happy that her wedding inspired her in-laws to renew their vows. Her parents had done the same thing when she was 19, and she had enjoyed the ceremony.
An Odd Request
But a week before this story was posted, Rose came to OP and asked if she could wear her wedding dress. She had to sell hers when Marcus, OP’s husband, had been a child.
Nickels and Dimes
Rose told OP she didn’t want to spend all the money to buy a new dress. She was also not comfortable with renting or thrifting a dress because she believed clothing “shouldn’t be rented out.”
To add to all of that, Rose just doesn’t want to wear a “stranger’s dress.” However, OP was shocked by the request and said she would have to consider it.
Not Really, No
After thinking about it, OP concluded that she didn’t want Rose to wear her dress. She preferred to save her wedding dress for a future daughter or granddaughter to enjoy.
OP didn’t mean any harm to her mother-in-law, but she saw some problems. There were several reasons why she didn’t think it was a good idea for Rose to have her dress.
Not the Same
One of the big problems OP had was that Rose would have to get the dress altered. They weren’t the same size, and the alterations would permanently change her wedding dress, which was only three months old.
A Bit Clumsy
There was also the issue that her mother-in-law, Rose, was a bit clumsy. OP had seen her ruin some of her clothes and ones she had borrowed from OP by spilling drinks and food on them.
Fabric and Lace
OP’s wedding dress consisted of delicate fabric, and a large part of the dress was white. It would be almost impossible to get any stains out of the dress if Rose made a mistake.
Taking Her Time
The ceremony was getting close, and Rose had been sending her texts and messages trying to determine her decision. OP hadn’t responded yet, and she didn’t know how to tell her mother-in-law.
Not Even Her Husband
OP revealed that she hadn’t even told her husband about the request. So, at the moment, he is in the dark about what is happening and doesn’t know that she’s uncomfortable letting her mother-in-law use her wedding dress.
Redditors Speak Their Mind
The community came to OP’s defense because no one has to let anyone else use their wedding dress.
Some even thought this might have been a test by her mother-in-law, with the top commenter saying, “Not the a**hole. Politely but firmly say no. Do mention it to hubby first because your mother-in-law will call her son once you say no, and he needs to be on the same page as you.”
Another said, “Not the a**hole. Your mother-in-law’s request is creepy. Tell her no, and take your dress elsewhere for storage until after her vow renewal. You don’t have to give her a reason. That it would make you uncomfortable is enough. Tell your husband and clarify that your answer is no, and there will be no discussion about it if he takes her side. Her ruining your clothing should be treated as a separate issue. Ask her for reimbursement for the things she destroyed, and don’t loan her anything.”
A Normal Refusal
Redditors clarified to OP that this wasn’t strange, and she didn’t need to be nervous. She needed to ensure she and her husband were on the same page, but nothing wrong should come of this.
One even said, “Not the a**hole, and it’s creepy for her to want to wear the dress that her son’s bride wore. Tell your husband now, as I’m sure he doesn’t want the image of his wife in her wedding dress on his mother.”
A woman then said, “As a mother of a son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law, I honestly can’t imagine anything more disturbing and revolting than wanting to wear her wedding dress! What will the next request be? ‘Oh, now that we’ve renewed our vows, we want to take a holiday. What hotel did you stay in for your honeymoon, and what was the room number? We want to get the same bed.’ Ew, ew, ew. Yuck, yuck, yuck!”
Do you think it’s odd for the mother-in-law to request to use her daughter-in-law’s wedding dress so soon? Will OP be in the right to refuse to lend out her wedding dress?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Let Her Mother-In-Law Borrow Her Wedding Dress for Her Vow Renewal, Fearing Her “Clumsiness” Would “Ruin” the Dress for Her Future Daughter and Granddaughter! Was She Selfish? on Quote Ambition.