60 Bart Simpson Quotes to Live By & Laugh About

Whether you’re a fan of The Simpsons or not, we’re sure you’ll get your fair share of laughter through this collection of Bart Simpson quotes!

Bart Simpson has been the most noticeable member of the Simpson family due to his mischievous personality. He’s perceived to be a bad influence on children due to his poor academic performance and rebellious behavior.

But, true fans of the show know that this is not the only thing we can associate with his character. In fact, because of how others’ viewed him, Bart Simpson worked hard and did his best to prove his naysayers wrong.

There are many interesting characters in this show, and Bart is one of them. That’s why we’ve gathered some of our favorite quotes of his that’ll make you love him too!

Check the full list here.

And make sure to read these The Simpsons quotes and Homer Simpson quotes.

Best Bart Simpson Quotes

1. “You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that? I’m insulted.”

2. “I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.”

3. “You got the brains and talent to go as far as you want and when you do, I’ll be right there to borrow money.”

4. “Well, enjoy it while you can. Everything changes when you get to big one-o. Your legs start to go. Candy doesn’t taste as good anymore.”

5. “Look in my eyes. See the conviction? See the sincerity? See the fear? As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!”

6. “Well, if you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”

7. “There’s only one thing to do at a moment like this: strut!”

8. “Nothing you say can upset us. We’re the MTV generation.”

9. “Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.”

Famous Bart Simpson Quotes

10. “I’m Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?”

11. “No, you don’t understand. I tried. I really tried.”

12. “From now on I’ll dominate you in ways you don’t realize.”

13. “You’re asking the wrong guy, Milhouse, you’re asking the wrong guy.”

14. “I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.”

15. “But who’d want to hurt me? I’m this century’s Dennis the Menace!”

16. “My chunky brothers! Gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom!”

17. “I wasn’t going to gamble. I just wanted a Bloody Mary.”

18. “You did it, Homer, you saved me from the bullies, you’re the coolest kid I’ve ever met.”

19. “Oh please. This is senseless destruction with none of my usual social commentary.”

20. “Look, everybody, I would just as soon not make a big deal out of this. I’m not saying I’m not a hero, I’m just saying that I fear for my safety.”

21. “You make me sick, Homer. You’re the one that told me I could do anything if I just put my mind to it.”

22. “Well, we hit a little snag when the universe sort of collapsed on itself. But Dad seemed cautiously optimistic.”

23. Darcy: “You look kind of young.”

Bart: “Uh, yeah, I have that disease that makes you look like an old man, but they gave me medicine for it and I took too much.”

24. Bart: “You know kid, with your smarts and my Barts, we make a good team!”

Lisa: “What are Barts?”

Bart: “You’re the smart one, you figure it out.”

Also read: Lisa Simpson Quotes, Ned Flanders Quotes

Wise Bart Simpson Quotes That Just Make Sense

25. “Who cares what we look like in whatever stupid year this is.”

26. “If you don’t watch the violence, you’ll never get desensitized to it.”

27. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you’ve just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars. With the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and Star Wars trilogy.”

28. “Do you think I’m telling people not to have a cow because deep down I want them to have a cow?”

29. “I’ve learned that even made-up corporate shills can lie to you.”

30. “Without awards shows, how would I know what movie has the best beheading or that Glee is a comedy?”

31. “A minute of fun, a lifetime of work. I’ve never heard of pregnancy like this.”

32. “No, no, no. You’re too young to be a witch. Savor the steps leading up to it. College anorexic, a string of bad marriages, career disappointments, failed pottery shop. And then when you’re old and alone you can hit the witch thing hard.”

Also read: Ralph Wiggum Quotes

Bart Simpson Quotes That Show His Mischievous Personality

33. “I’m halfway through it, I swear!”

34. “I understand why. You were wasted.”

35. “I didn’t do it! Nobody saw me do it. You can’t prove anything!”

36. “Stupid Catholic school. Suffering for my hip attitude. I’m the real Jesus here.”

37. “Hey Mr. Burns, can I go with you to get the treasure? I won’t eat much and I don’t know the difference between right and wrong.”

38. “I really don’t want to be here, Dad! Besides, I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on.”

39. “Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.”

40. “Mom, Dad, just so you don’t hear any wild rumors, I’m being indicted for fraud in Australia.”

Bart Simpson Quotes for You to Understand Their Family Dynamics

41. “Dad, I have as much respect for you as I ever did or ever will.”

42. “So much for the days when I could say, ‘At least my mother’s normal.’”

43. “Homer, your half-ass under-parenting was better than your half-assed over-parenting.”

44. “Your Honor, it’s not easy being my parents. I’m always screwing up in school and getting in trouble with the law. But if I grow up to be a halfway-decent person, I know it’ll be because of my mom and dad. Everyone else might give up on me, but my parents never will.”

45. “I cheated on the intelligence test. I’m sorry. But I just want to say that the past few weeks have been great. Me and you have done stuff together. You’ve helped me out with things and we’re closer than we’ve ever been. I love you, Dad. And I think if something can bring us that close it can’t possibly be bad.”

Funny Bart Simpson Quotes

46. “That’s not fair! I’m 10 times the Krusty fan you are. I even have the Krusty Home Pregnancy test!”

47. “We flushed the gator down the toilet but it got stuck halfway so now we have to feed it.”

48. “Come on, Milhouse. There’s no such thing as a soul. It’s just something they made up to scare kids. Like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.”

49. Bart: “I saved you.”

Lisa: “But you pushed me!”

Bart: “Duh, I couldn’t save you until I pushed you. Girls make no sense.”

50. “I thought dabbling in the black arts would be good for a chuckle. How wrong I was.”

Also read: Funny Quotes

Bart Simpson Quotes That Zoom in on His Self-Image

51. “How could someone so much like me be a loser?”

52. “All you need to know is that I’m a politeness monster who eats ‘pleases’ and farts ‘thank yous’, ma’am.”

53. “I’ve done everything I could and I’ve only got 35 bucks! Ugh! I am through with working, working is for chumps.”

54. “Who am I kidding? I really am a failure! Oh, now I know how George Washington felt when he surrendered Fort Necessity to the French in 1754.”

55. “Stupid angry mob, chasing me because I shine a harsh light on modern society. Now I know how Dane Cook feels.”

56. “I’ve done a lot of bad stuff through the years. Now I’m paying the price but there are so many things I’ll never get a chance to do: smoke a cigarette, use a fake ID, shave a swear word in my hair.”

More Bart Simpson Quotes to Understand His Views on Girls

57. “I said I’m human, not a girl.”

58. “Lis, women are easy. State capitols are hard.”

59. “She’s like a Milk Dud, Lis. Sweet on the outside, poison on the inside.”

60. “No one with a choice should ever have to be a girl. I’ll teach you how to be a boy.”

What Do You Think of Bart Simpson’s Personality?

Media is such a significant influence when it comes to raising children, and sometimes, even adults. Because of this, many criticized Bart for his rebellious nature that can negatively affect people. But, despite some criticism, Time magazine named him one of the Top 100 Most Important People of the 20th Century.

Yes, Bart is portrayed as a mischievous and underachieving student. But, as the series progressed, he worked hard, studied, and did his best to become a better version of himself.

Bart Simpson also learned to exhibit more positive traits toward those around him. Despite being deemed a bad influence, he proved that he also has a positive side that we can all learn from.

Let Bart Simpson be a reminder that criticism and naysayers don’t get to dictate who you are as a person. More than that, remember that you have the responsibility to do your best in whatever you do. After all, you hold power to a better future for yourself!

Which of these Bart Simpson quotes is your favorite? Please, let us know in the comments.

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