Fill your belly with laughter as you read this list of our favorite funny work quotes!
Let’s be honest—staying inspired and motivated throughout your whole workday is hard. More often than not, we don’t even have the drive to get out of bed when we wake up, especially on Mondays.
But, work doesn’t have to be boring; there are several ways to up your energy when you’re at work.
One of the ways to do this is by reading funny work quotes whenever you have free time. Doing so will give you a fresh take on the hours you have to stay at work and with your colleagues.
So, if you need a list of the funniest quotes for work, we’ve got you covered!
Read through to the end and find quotes that perfectly encapsulate your workdays!
Funniest Work Quotes of All Time
1. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
2. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” – Anonymous
3. “Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.” – Anonymous
4. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost
5. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
6. “Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.” – Doug Larson
7. “My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning.” – Anonymous
8. “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’” – Dave Barry
Funny Work Quotes to Get You Through the Day
9. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
10. “Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.” – Michel Tournier
11. “I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying.” – Rita Rudner
12. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called ‘Everybody,’ and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
13. “As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course, retirement.” – Tom Goins
Funny Work Quotes for Weekday Blues
14. “I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” – Anonymous
15. “Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” – Ed Bernard
16. “Thursday is perhaps the worst day of the week. It’s nothing in itself; it just reminds you that the week has been going on too long.” – Nicci French
17. “After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says, ‘WTF.’” – Anonymous
18. “On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth.” – Anonymous
19. “If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here either.” – James Johnson
20. “Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” – Anonymous
Funny Work Quotes That’ll Brighten Your Day
21. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates
22. “A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
23. “It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
24. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” – Stanley J. Randall
25. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” – Claude McDonald
Short Funny Work Quotes
26. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
27. “Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
28. “Getting paid to sleep—that’s my dream job.” – Anonymous
29. “Beat the 5 o’clock rush; leave work at noon.” – Anonymous
30. “His insomnia was so bad that he couldn’t sleep during office hours.” – Arthur Baer
31. “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
Funny Work Quotes to Make You Laugh
32. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” – Groucho Marx
33. “Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.” – Anonymous
34. “I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity, and dreams.” – Anonymous
35. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
36. “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” – Woody Allen
37. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein
38. “When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.” – Anonymous
Funny Work Quotes That’ll Make the Workday Fun
39. “Doing nothing is very hard to do—you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
40. “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” – Don Herold
41. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome
42. “The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” – Dennis Miller
43. “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” – Bertrand Russel
44. “When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, and it’s already 6:45. When you’re at work, and it’s 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, and it’s 2:31.” – Anonymous
Funny Quotes About Work Colleagues
45. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
46. “If we’re a dream team, why don’t we get to take naps at work?” – Anonymous
47. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” – Peter Drucker
48. “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work, and the other half isn’t so bright.” – Anonymous
49. “We’re stuck together until one of us gets fired!” – Anonymous
Funny Quotes About Working Late and Deadlines
50. “The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.” – Bove’s Theorem
51. “God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.” – Bill Watterson
52. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
53. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
54. “My boss is like a baby—screams and wakes me up every half hour.” – Anonymous
More Funny Work Quotes You Must Read Today
55. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
56. “I love my job only when I’m on vacation.” – Anonymous
57. “Sometimes, I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.” – Anonymous
58. “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
59. “By working faithfully 8 hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day.” – Robert Frost
60. “Show me a man who is a good loser, and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.” – Jim Murray
Did These Funny Work Quotes Give You the Drive You Need to Stay Motivated Throughout the Day?
We’re sure you just wanted to quit working at some point in your career. We don’t blame you; many factors make people want to switch jobs or retire. Some don’t want to wake up early, some are sick of the commute and rush hours, and some just flat out don’t like their colleagues and working environment.
Whatever it is, your opinions are relevant, valid, and heard. However, we must not let ourselves succumb to the mindset that work is the bane of our existence. There are, in fact, many good things about work.
For one, it gives you a sense of satisfaction whenever you accomplish your task or get promoted. You can also find lifelong friends in your colleagues, as you’ve gone through multiple deadlines and hurdles with them. But, most of all, your work allows you to grow and mature as a person.
Work can get boring and repetitive; that’s true. But having some funny work quotes handy whenever you need a positive mood boost will help you conquer whatever challenges.
So, reread this list of quotes whenever you need to just laugh out your frustrations at work. Funny as they are, they still contain truths that every working person would be able to relate to!