He had one rule: no shoes inside his home, but his friend dismissed it, saying it wasn’t a “big deal,” so he kicked him out. If he can’t respect his wishes, he should just go!
Everything started when one of OP’s (Original Poster) best friends was about to come to his house.
Welcome, but First
When he and his wife arrived, OP politely informed them that he’d prefer they enter without their shoes on. They just had a massive cleaning spree all over the place the day before, and OP would like to keep it that way.
Shoes Stay On
OP’s friend then mentioned that “it wasn’t a big deal” and that, personally, he’s generally a “very hygienic” person and even guaranteed that his shoes aren’t going to cause any issues.
Missed the Point
Then, OP told him that he didn’t see how his friend’s personal hygiene practices had anything to do with the cleanliness of his shoes. He said he had no particular interest in his friend’s personal life and what he does.
However, he should accept OP’s wishes, given that he’s in OP’s house, and OP would have done the same if he was visiting his friend’s home.
Your Wish Is My Command
After that, OP’s friend said he should just “get over it” and not turn the matter into a problem. He also stated that it’s not like OP’s going to tell them to sod off just for this “stupid s***.”
OP wrote, “So, that’s just exactly what I did since they asked for it.”
Insane Response to a Rule
Now, almost everyone in their friend group thinks OP vastly overreacted, saying it’s fine to have certain boundaries or rules but not to the extent where he’d turn away a visitor. They said it makes him look like a “huge d***.”
So, OP told them that many pragmatic reasons can perfectly justify not being in people’s homes with shoes on. But OP doesn’t have the time to argue with everyone who comes to his place.
As Easy as Breathing
Aside from that, OP wasn’t trying to make it a difficulty. Removing shoes doesn’t even take 10 seconds.
It’s Just Pointless
But he said that mindlessly arguing about the matter is the kind of thing that wastes everyone’s time.
Friends No More
At that moment, OP was blocked from their group chat, and to him, that showed his friends’ true colors.
He wrote, “I don’t really care, but I’d like Reddit’s opinion on this. Am I the a**hole?”
Many cultures find wearing outdoor shoes inside the house a disrespectful thing to do. That’s why there are indoor slippers to cover your feet and still keep the home clean.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. In many cultures, mine as well, it’s seen as disrespectful if you don’t take off your shoes at the door, even if they’re squeaky clean. Sometimes, people won’t let you walk in unless you take them off. Mothers are strict with this rule. Others may say your reaction was extreme, but the friend is the one who made it a problem in the first place over something so common.”
Someone else agreed, saying, “This is definitely cultural. Some of these “you’re the a**hole” comments say that it was an overreaction; maybe for some people, that’s true. But for a lot of cultures, the idea that someone would insist on wearing shoes inside the home is wildly disrespectful. Like, unfathomable almost. The best way to deal with this is just to have slip-on shoe covers in the entryway and provide them for the people who want to keep their shoes on.”
The community believes a visitor should respect the home they’re visiting and the host. So, if the owner wants you to remove your shoes, just do so!
“Not the a**hole. Your friend should have simply respected your house rule regarding shoes. There is no such thing as clean shoes unless it’s a brand-new pair that has never been worn outside. It sounds like you asked very nicely but was met with an entitled attitude. Why do people think it’s okay to disrespect other people’s house rules? As for the ‘sod off,’ don’t challenge someone unless you’re willing to deal with the consequences. Your friend challenged you, and you simply met the challenge,” one commenter wrote.
Invading One’s Private Space
Some people just can’t understand the amount of time and effort homeowners give to keep their houses clean, only for it to be ruined by someone who can’t respect a simple request.
A Redditor wrote, “Not the a**hole. What those who aren’t ‘shoes off before entering the house’ people might not understand is that beyond a rational evaluation of how much filth one person wearing their shoes inside your house can bring in, there is the psychological aspect. It’s a boundary where the inside is clean, and the outside isn’t. The shoes coming inside break that feeling of cleanliness when everybody in the household and all other visitors has been maintaining and respecting it for years on a daily basis.”
The same person added, “It’s a bit similar to a smoker expecting to be able to smoke a single cigarette inside a non-smoker’s house. To the smoker, that is nothing, but to the non-smoker, it would feel like a violation of their personal space, as would any lingering smell. You could argue that the smell from one cigarette wouldn’t linger long, but why not smoke it outside, to begin with, and respect that this is a non-smoking house?”
What’s your non-negotiable house rule? Do you agree that people shouldn’t wear shoes inside their homes?
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