This grieving Redditor thought no one other than his friend’s sick son deserved financial help. However, his family believed the money he gave up should be given to his brother for a renovation project!
Heart-Wrenching Losses
OP (Original Poster) is a dad who had gone through two losses in a short period of time. He’s a single dad who lost both his daughters—his 14-year-old adopted daughter and his 9-year-old biological daughter—due to chronic conditions.
The loss of the two most important people in his life gutted him, and he said, “I was a single dad dealing with so much.”
One After the Other
As soon as his eldest daughter passed away, his youngest daughter got sick; this all happened in the same year. OP had no time to grieve and found himself driving to the hospital again—talking to doctors again.
It was truly a difficult time for him. His youngest daughter then passed away a year later.
You Can Rest Now
His brother told him he could now rest because he no longer had to spend time with doctors and worry about his daughters and their issues. However, even when OP’s brother tried to comfort him, he felt more hurt and pain.
A Second Chance
OP’s mom said he should give having more kids “another chance,” but he ignored her words.
His dad also suggested that he move out of their house for a fresh start. But OP didn’t want to do that; he wrote, “I told him I was comfortable enough to sleep at my house since he thought I should run from memories.”
In Need of Therapy
OP isolated himself most of the time, and that’s when he met a parent like him who was in group therapy. They began talking, and he discovered he was a struggling dad with a sick child, Adam.
OP met Adam and said he was “such a sweet soul” who reminded him of his daughters.
Spending Time With Adam
OP shared that Adam was intelligent, empathetic, and a good cook for his age. He said Adam cooked for them a lot, and he also bought books.
Adam would also help take care of OP’s plants.
Chained to the Hospital
When OP posted this story, Adam was in the hospital. During this time, OP and Adam’s discussed the surgery Adam needed and how they needed money.
His Decision
OP used his youngest daughter’s emergency fund to help them pay for Adam’s surgery.
He said, “This gift is from my daughters to Adam.”
A Grateful Friend
When OP’s friend found out about his decision, he started crying because he couldn’t believe someone would be helping.
OP wrote, “He couldn’t believe it and started crying because they’ve been struggling to come up with the money for months, and it also affected education. He stopped going to school for a year.” Later, OP received a heartwarming card from Adam
Brother’s House Renovation
OP’s brother and mom visited him, and his brother said he needed money to renovate his house. Their mom then suggested he use OP’s youngest daughter’s emergency fund and asked OP if he could help.
Coming Clean
He noted that he hadn’t had a chance to tell his family what he had done with the money yet, so this was the perfect opportunity.
OP said, “I told them that I’ve already given the money to a close friend and paid for his son’s surgery.”
Are You Nuts?
His mom and brother just stared blankly at him for a while. Then they started yelling at OP for doing what he did.
They said he was out of his mind to “give away the money that was supposed to go to family who’s struggling.”
You’re Ungrateful!
The two brought up how supportive they’ve been of OP while he was struggling, and he was ungrateful for giving the money away. He shared, “My brother called me an a**hole for handing people ‘I barely knew’ money and not my own family.”
OP was getting heated, too, so he told them to “drop it or leave.”
Get Out!
They didn’t stop; OP’s mom and brother kept criticizing him, so he yelled at them and told them to leave his house.
Later that night, he got a call from his dad, saying he was out of line for treating his mom and brother like he did. He said that their reaction was understandable.
More Excuses
OP’s dad tried to mediate and excuse his wife and other son’s behavior.
He wrote, “He said I upset my family and doubled down by kicking them out. He wants to talk, but I know him. He has a short temper and will demand I take the money back.”
Family First
He ended his story by saying he might be the a**hole for prioritizing his friend’s needs over his family.
OP shared, “My dad berated me and said that family comes first and that I shouldn’t have given that amount of money to someone who isn’t family.”
What the Community Has to Say
People reassured OP that he wasn’t in the wrong. After all, as a top commenter said, “Your brother isn’t struggling. Renovating a house isn’t a necessity. Your friend’s son living is. You made the right choice.”
Another replied, “Why is a relative entitled to any of OP’s money for home renovations? How are they going to say they are ‘struggling’ and that ‘family supports each other’ when they want money for home renovations? Maybe it’s more like major necessary repairs, and OP just chose his words poorly, which still wouldn’t excuse this kind of behavior, but it’s the most charitable explanation I can think of.”
How would you react if you were in OP’s shoes? Do you think Adam deserved the money?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Fund His Brother’s House Renovation Using His Late Daughter’s Emergency Fund Because He Believed His Friend’s Sick Son Needed It More. Was He Inconsiderate? on Quote Ambition.
