He and his new wife had just welcomed their baby, and his partner was struggling with postpartum depression. It’s gotten so bad that she started targeting his daughter with ADHD!
A Medical Need
OP (Original Poster) has a 17-year-old daughter from a previous marriage who has been diagnosed with ADHD. OP has wanted to get her medicine to help with her symptoms, but her mother has opposed it and was able to convince his daughter that she didn’t need treatment.
Now OP is in a new relationship, and he’d gotten married to his new wife six years before this story was posted. To add to this, they’ve also just celebrated the birth of their child five weeks before OP shared his story.
It Isn’t Easy
OP said his wife had been fine the first week, but after that, things took a turn. She was diagnosed with postpartum depression a couple of weeks after their child had been born.
A Teen’s Life
The issue is that OP’s 17-year-old comes and goes as she pleases. She has her own car and stays at whichever house she likes, whether with her mother or OP.
An Extended Visit
For over a week, OP’s daughter had chosen to stay with him and his wife because she got suspended from school. The school claimed she had been disrespectful and disruptive to teachers since school began, but OP had no luck convincing his ex-wife that she needed help.
Why So Noisy?
Since she had stayed with them, OP’s wife had complained that his daughter had a “loud mouth.” His wife said that every time she would put the baby down to sleep, his daughter would come out and be loud, which would wake the baby up.
His wife was convinced that his daughter did it on purpose. She cited that his daughter would be completely quiet while she was putting the baby to sleep, but as soon as she’d walk away, the noise would begin.
OP’s wife said that his daughter would come out belting out song lyrics as if singing an opera. She would also bang cabinet drawers and even stomp around the house.
He wrote, “She’s always done this, so I know it’s not intentional. She has really heavy feet, so it sounds like slams when she walks.”
Enough Is Enough!
Having had enough, OP’s wife told him she was “sick and tired of having to repeatedly tell his daughter to stop being loud” when the baby was trying to sleep. It had gotten so bad his wife was hateful toward him and his daughter and said no one respected her.
He wrote, “She barely even speaks to us because she claims we don’t respect her and are purposely making her look crazy.”
Crying All Alone
Then, when OP got home the next day, he found his daughter out in her car, crying. She said that she had been kicked out by her stepmom, who had told her to get out because she “didn’t know how to keep her mouth shut.”
Getting to the Bottom of Things
When OP went inside the house, he found his wife “rage-cleaning” with the baby strapped to her chest. He asked her what “gave her the right” to talk to his daughter that way.
It All Comes Out
OP’s wife snapped and told him, “Maybe I’d like to s*** without a baby strapped to me. Maybe I’d like to clean or eat or even be able to take a nap myself, but nope, your f****** kid decides that the baby needs to be awake 24/7. She’s not welcome back in here. She needs to go home.”
Her House, Her Rules
OP said the house was his wife’s, but even so, he warned her that she was “on the fast track” to a divorce. He also asked his daughter about her behavior, and she told him it wasn’t intentional.
She “didn’t even realize” she was doing it, and she apologized profusely. He didn’t think his daughter was doing anything on purpose.
Redditors’ Thoughts and Opinions
The comments from Reddit were universally condemning OP for one specific reason: enabling his daughter to misbehave.
One Redditor summed up the general mood when they said, “You’re the a**hole. Your daughter needs to learn to shut the f*** up when the baby is sleeping. It’s as simple as that. Either she learns to be quiet, or she needs to get out of the house. Your wife cannot be expected to deal with a sleep-deprived baby just because your nearly adult daughter is a brat. I say this as an adult with ADHD who has sisters almost 20 years younger than me. When the baby is sleeping, you shut the f*** up. If your daughter can’t or won’t get that, then she isn’t welcome in the house when the baby is sleeping. You need to have your wife’s back, for f***’* sake.”
This kind of response was not unique, with another saying, “‘I asked the culprit, and she didn’t mean it, so therefore, nothing bad happened.’ Are you f****** kidding me? Your wife is going through hell, and it’s you and your daughter. You’re the a**hole, hugely.”
No Love From Reddit
OP got roasted by everyone in the comments, with everyone agreeing that his daughter and he were the main problem.
One Redditor put it short and sweet, saying, “You’re the a**hole. Your wife was diagnosed with postpartum depression, and now she can’t even get a moment to herself because you won’t deal with your own daughter, and she has to do it. If you don’t think it’s a big deal, then why don’t you go take care of the baby every time your daughter wakes them up?”
What do you think about the case of the loud daughter and the sleep-deprived baby? What should OP do, and how would you handle the situation?
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This post first appeared as His Wife Kicked His Daughter Out for Having a “Loud Mouth” That Keeps Their Baby Awake “24/7.” He’s Furious, Saying She’s on the “Fast Track to Divorce!” Was He Wrong? on Quote Ambition.