This Redditor and his wife opened up their home for his struggling friend. But five years and a wife later, he’s still there so he can live life while freeloading off of them!
Welcomed With Open Arms
OP (Original Poster) is 30, while his friend, Jason, is 48. They’ve been friends for 12 years, and he’s been living with OP and his wife for 5.
Jason has had his share of financial issues and would often “couch-surf” until OP let him live with them.
Multiple Broken Promises
His friend promised to stay with them until he got a stable job. But five years later, Jason still hasn’t found one.
Despite this, OP’s friend has managed to “scrounge up” livable savings and spend his free time buying “sake” and “not doing his share of chores.”
Turning His Back on Help
Sadly, this wasn’t without any effort from OP to help his friend out. Throughout the years, he’d talk to Jason about hooking him up with a job.
Sadly, he was always rejected, with Jason saying he’d find some work or place of his own “soon.”
Four-Person Household
Then, Jason announced his engagement and said he and his partner would combine their income to buy their own house and move out before the wedding.
He wrote, “Neither had much money and had to take out a loan for their wedding.”
Another Rejected Offer
Because of that, OP and his wife said they would let them stay—so long as they earned their keep by paying for their food and cleaning up. Sadly, they were dismissed by Jason once again.
Pushing Back
As OP had expected, the couple’s “hard” moving date was tossed around. They kept making excuses, ultimately forcing OP and his wife to let them stay for free!
Lies, Lies, and More Lies!
Before the wedding, the couple said they just needed a little bit more time to put things together. Jason also said that the cheapest places were so far away, and it would take them off schedule to move there.
After the wedding, they told OP and his wife that they were currently paying off their debts, and with “how important good credit” is in buying a house, they needed to pay off what they had first.
More Excuses
Then, they told OP that they took out another loan for their honeymoon. They said it was an “important trip” for them and that they should be able to enjoy it.
Jason said he’d add it to their “pay-off-soon list” since they were already almost done with the first loan. However, OP knew for a fact that they had only paid off 20% of the other loan.
Constant Dismissal
Jason just came up with countless excuses, and time and time again, OP would ask them if they needed extra help finding an apartment or money. OP went as far as to offer to help pay off their debt!
However, they were once again dismissed with “an air of annoyance.”
Freeloaders, 100%!
Then, after Jason announced they were going on a honeymoon, he also shared that they’d be trying for kids. At this point, OP realized that the couple had intended to “stretch out their stay” for as long as OP would let them.
Taking Action
Once he realized this, he immediately called a bunch of mutual friends and got a list of people willing to help them get on their feet.
He said, “I sat them down a day into their honeymoon and told them that we couldn’t house four people with more on the way on our salary and gave them the list of mutuals.”
A Feud Between Friends
The couple immediately got angry, calling OP and his wife “a**holes” for “kicking them out of their house” and “leaving them with nothing.”
Jason and his wife left for their trip and haven’t spoken to him since.
Varied Opinions
OP and his wife are confident that they did the right thing. However, some of OP’s friends think they should have been “more patient” or “more firm” without kicking them out.
However, OP disagreed, saying, “I get they were financially struggling, but I think they should have slowed down with big purchases and or just taken the job opportunities we gave them.”
Friendship Over
After some time, OP heard from Jason again, “confirming” the end of their friendship. They both agreed for OP to ship his stuff to one of their old friends, so long as he paid for the shipping costs.
OP wrote, “I’d made sure he’d either give me the money for shipping or pick it up himself.”
Redditors’ Opinions
For users, OP had been kind enough to his friend. There’s no way he could’ve handled things better.
A woman wrote, “How can you handle it better? They spent money they didn’t have on stuff they didn’t need and have been using you forever. No. You’re done. They’re done. I wouldn’t even let them back in the house. I would pack their s*** and have it waiting for them. Not the a**hole.”
Another agreed and replied, “This! OP offered multiple times to help get them on their feet, only to be turned down. Smart move involving mutual friends in this. Not the a**hole.”
A Scam Hidden in Plain Sight
Others couldn’t believe how naive OP acted, as it was pretty clear Jason was only “friends” with him because of what he had to offer.
One Redidtor pointed out, “Good gosh, I read the whole thing and then scrolled back up and saw that you are 30 and your friend is 48. This was never a friendship; it was a scam. Not the a**hole.”
Another person said, “How do a 36-year-old and an 18-year-old become friends, with the younger of the two becoming the primary caretaker?”
What do you think about OP’s friend, Jason? Do you have any advice for either of them?
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This post first appeared as He Kicked His Friend and His Wife Out During Their Honeymoon, “Leaving Them With Nothing.” He’s Had Enough of Him Freeloading for Years, and It’s Time He Cut Him Off! on Quote Ambition.
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