This Redditor didn’t have it in himself to be compassionate toward his ex-wife—only to her dogs. He refused to give her a place to stay, even if it meant she’d get stuck in a heatwave!
A Different Outlook on Life
OP’s (Original Poster) wife left him and their kids a few years before this story was posted. After years of being together, it seemed she wanted a different life from what they had.
The Van Life
So, after separating, OP’s ex-wife bought a converted van and tried to become a “van life influencer.”
He said, “She got some followers but not as many as it takes to be able to live off of it, I guess.”
Storming Back In
When this story was posted, OP’s ex-wife was back in their city. Sadly, OP noted that this was only the second time in two years that she has “bothered” to see their kids.
Keeping the Ship Afloat
OP, however, had done his best to ensure their kids knew that even though their mom was gone, she still loved them. He only told them that she was working far away.
He said, “Even after the divorce, I made sure she could have all the visitation she wanted.” However, it was evident that his ex-wife was the one who wasn’t making an effort.
A Place to Stay
Now, his ex-wife’s van needed some repairs. Since they were in the middle of a heatwave, she needed a place to stay for a week or two.
It’s Not an Option
Though she doesn’t have a lot of options, OP’s ex-wife refused to stay with her parents. They didn’t take her decision to leave well, and they’ve been criticizing her for the choice she made.
Budget Cuts
However, his ex-wife also doesn’t want to stay at a hotel. If she did so, it would be a dent in her budget that she couldn’t afford.
Her Only Choice
The only choice left is for her to stay with OP and their kids. However, OP doesn’t want her in his house because he doesn’t want their kids to “freak out” when she leaves again.
He said, “It’s best if they see her in a neutral location.”
Dogs Only!
The only compromise OP was willing to make was to take her dogs in so she could stay at a hostel.
OP’s goodness only extended to her pets—not to her.
Furious Ex-wife
This angered his ex-wife. She started saying OP was an “a**hole” for not letting her stay in the house she helped pay for.
Not Valid
However, for OP, his ex-wife’s arguments were no longer acceptable. After all, when they separated, he bought out her equity in the house.
It wasn’t that much, but it meant he was the sole owner of the property.
Compassionate Hearts
Contrary to OP’s decision, his parents think he should have let her stay. Then, the woman he’s currently seeing also said she would have understood if OP’s ex-wife was allowed to stay at the house for one to two weeks.
Not Gonna Happen
Even if others were adamant that it was alright for OP to let his ex-wife stay at his home, he’s firm in believing that it would be detrimental to his children.
He said, “I just know what it would do to my kids.”
Leave Her Be
In an edit, OP clarified that he wouldn’t give any clues as to who his ex-wife is.
OP wrote, “Please stop messaging me for information on my ex. I will not say more than I have. I don’t want anyone messing with her livelihood. I won’t tell you what her handle is or what kind of dogs she has. I have a good life without her, and my kids are doing okay.”
Redditors’ Opinions
Users reassured OP that he was doing the right thing. As a parent, and especially as a single dad, he’s doing the best he can for them, and that’s the only thing that matters.
One wrote, “Not the a**hole. You’re being the best parent you can be. She’s abandoned her children and has no right to impose on them and you. She’s not there to see them; she needs a cheap place to crash. It might be traumatic for your kids to have her leave again, and that just isn’t worth it—for you or for them.”
The same person said, “You bought her out, and she’s used that equity to pursue her new life. She doesn’t want to stay with her critical parents, too bad. Dent her budget, then where’s the child support?”
She’s Not a Mom
People are angered by OP’s ex-wife, who only wanted to stay at their house for a place to stay—not to see her kids.
“She’s only in the same city because her van needs repairs. It’s not like she made a special trip just to see the kids. It’s only about convenience and not having to spend any money since she obviously doesn’t give a s*** about her kids if she hasn’t bothered to see them for two f****** years,” said one man.
Another agreed, saying, “Ding ding ding! Truth be told, the mother could have had the van repaired anywhere, but that would have hurt her bottom line more, and the difference in driving to the home city versus a hotel would have seen driving home win on costs. You’re doing the right thing for your kids, OP. You’re not the a**hole at all, but your ex certainly is.”
What would you say to OP’s ex? Do you think she deserves to stay with OP and their kids?
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This post first appeared as He Took His Ex-wife’s Dogs in but Left Her Homeless During a Heatwave. She’s Saying He’s a “Jerk,” but He’s Just Protecting His Kids From Her Inevitable Abandonment! on Quote Ambition.
