All this Redditor wanted to do was to be himself. However, his dad’s one-sided and biased views are holding him back, forcing him to keep his truth a secret so he can get his inheritance!
OP is a 24-year-old while his dad is a 60-year-old “very far right-wing conservative and Christian.” Ever since OP could remember, his dad was against anything related to the LGBTQ+ community.
In fact, he’d been very open in expressing to OP that he’s “h*********.” Because of this, OP had feared coming out for so long.
A Comforting Presence
Thankfully, OP’s mom and sister and his friends were supportive.
He said, “I have come out to a few close friends and my mother and sister. All of them have been supportive so far, but I know my dad won’t be.”
Things Could Go either Way
OP noted that, in the best-case scenario, his dad would never talk to him after learning he’s gay. But, the worst-case scenario, which he was sure was going to happen, is that he outs him to the entire family and disowns him!
I Just Want to Be Free!
Even with the possible repercussions of coming out of his dad, OP wants to be honest and tell him the truth.
He wrote, “I would like to be out in my everyday life and was thinking about coming out to him just to get it over with.”
A Hard No
However, OP’s sister is 100% against this plan. She suggested that OP keep it from him so he doesn’t lose his inheritance, which was almost $5,000,000!
His Final Stance
After talking to his sister, OP decided to come out to the rest of his friends and live his day-to-day life “out of the closet.” Ultimately, he chose to keep it a secret from his dad and his side of the family.
The Ball’s in Their Court
OP was leaving everything up to fate at this point.
He said, “If they figure it out for themselves, then so be it. If not, then I keep my inheritance.”
An Easy Way Out
Fortunately, it wouldn’t be hard for him to keep the secret from his dad and paternal relatives since they didn’t see each other more than once or twice a year.
Mom: A Voice of Reason
However, when OP told his mom about his decision, she wasn’t happy with it. She said she didn’t feel this was the right way to do things.
Even so, she told OP that she’d respect his decision.
Having Second Thoughts
OP was so sure that he was making the right choice. But after talking to his mom, he had started second-guessing himself.
In one of the comments, OP explained that he was sure his sister would give her his share of the inheritance in case he really did get disowned. However, it would be complicated and messy because taxes and other legal factors depend on his dad’s will.
He said he didn’t completely understand, but since she was a lawyer, she had OP’s complete trust.
Dreams for the Future
In another comment, OP explained that he planned to buy a “nice little house” for him and, “hopefully,” a husband with the money he would receive as an inheritance.
Apart from that, he said that he also wanted to fund a local LGBTQ+ charity in the future. But right now, he’s still stuck, asking, “Am I the a**hole for keeping my dad in the dark just for the inheritance?”
Redditors reassured OP that the decision was 100% up to him.
A top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. You don’t have to tell anyone that you don’t want to tell for any reason.”
“Not the a**hole. It’s entirely your choice who you come out to and when and how you do it. I have zero sympathies for your h********* father, and if you want to keep this from him for any reason, you have every right to do so. I think it’s only fitting that you benefit from his inheritance, considering what an a**hole he is. I’m sorry you have a s***** father, and I hope you live your life exactly the way you want to,” said another Redditor.
It’s Your Life!
Some Redditors also went the more profound route, asking OP questions he should start thinking about.
This user wrote, “I mean, it’s your life to live, so you need to do whatever you’re comfortable with. Is there literally no way that he would accept it? Parents can sometimes surprise you. The fact that he has a gay son may change his perspective, even. Although you shouldn’t exist to be his wake-up call. And is living a lie worth any amount of money? If yes, then do that. If not, then roll the dice and see what he does. Your dad’s not 90 years old. If you get into a committed relationship, your future partner may take issue with being the ‘dirty little secret.’ Either way, you’re not the a**hole. Good luck.”
What advice would you give OP? Should he just be honest?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Get Disowned and Lose His $5,000,000 Inheritance, so He’ll Never Tell His Homophobic and Strict Christian Dad He’s Gay Until He Dies! Is He Being Selfish? on Quote Ambition.