This user went to deposit money into his daughter’s college fund and noticed a $10,000 withdrawal. She demanded to be allowed to attend a convention, and he locked her college fund account in retaliation!
Pennies and Dimes
OP (Original Poster) has a 17-year-old daughter and has been saving since she was an infant to create a college fund for her. With his savings, her savings, and family donations, it has grown to a sizable amount of cash.
Piling up Cash
OP made it clear to his daughter that she didn’t have to donate to the college fund, but she has. After all, she had a separate savings account to put money into if she desired.
He and his wife have also told their daughter that the money in the college fund is for college only, nothing else.
A Spooky Fandom
However, everything went downhill when his daughter talked about a convention she wanted to attend.
OP explained that his daughter and her girlfriend from Australia are huge fans of the hit TV series Supernatural. For the last five years, his daughter and her partner have wanted to go to a convention and meet cast members of Supernatural.
A Dream Come True
This time, OP’s daughter found out that two of the main cast members would be in attendance. She begged her father to allow her to go, but he said no, though he admitted he couldn’t stop her if she paid for it since it would be after she was 18.
He assumed his daughter would use her savings account if push came to shove.
A Shocking Revelation
After the conversation, he went to add more money to her college fund but found a chunk of it was missing. It wasn’t even a couple of hundred; it was $10,000!
OP went to speak to his daughter about it, and what he discovered would shock him.
The Trip Is On!
Not only did OP’s daughter admit she took the money, but she had already used it to buy plane tickets for herself and her Australian girlfriend. She had also booked a hotel room and purchased the convention tickets for both of them.
Taking a Dream Vacation
The convention was only three or four days, but OP’s daughter decided to go for a few weeks. She intended to make an extended vacation out of the trip!
Bubbling Fury
OP admitted that he lost it by this point and demanded that she cancel her trip. He also tried to get a refund for the money, but most of it was nonrefundable, so he hesitated to follow through.
She Will Do What She Wants
OP’s daughter also refused to cancel, saying it was “her money” and that she could “spend it however she likes.”
She claimed she still had enough for college, and the convention was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Furious and Immature
However, OP is convinced this shows his daughter has “extreme immaturity” and that she can’t manage her future or her money. He was outraged that she would go and do this behind his back.
Say Goodbye to College
OP told his daughter she could “say goodbye to the rest of her college fund.” He locked the account and didn’t believe her when she told him she would pay back the money.
A Mother’s Love
OP’s wife told him he was being “harsh” and that their daughter was right. She also reminded him that their daughter had put in $5,000 of her own money over time, so she had only taken $5,000, not $10,000.
OP’s mother-in-law also stepped in to say she’d help pay back the college fund.
Teaching a Lesson
OP claimed that part of his anger was due to him not wanting his daughter to think she could buy her way out of problems. He wanted her to learn that there are consequences to being immature.
Failing Confidence
At first, OP was confident that he had made the right decision, but now he has started to reconsider.
Everyone in his family has told him he is being an “a**hole” because his daughter is a teenage girl, and her entire life shouldn’t revolve around college.
The Community’s Reactions
Redditors were split on whether OP had overreacted or not, with many taking both sides.
A common sentiment was expressed by one commenter, who said, “I say not the a**hole if you are going to make her pay back $5,000. I don’t think she should have had access to withdraw from the fund in the first place, but I guess it was set up in her name and could be withdrawn from at 18. The money was set aside for school, not just for whatever she wanted. I think the rest should stay for school only; she’s lost the privilege of unrestricted access to the account.”
Another Redditor was more critical, saying, “Everyone sucks here, her college fund should not have been accessible to her, and her savings should have been kept separate and accessible. She’s immature because she’s young. Don’t be immature and take away her college fund to add insult to injury. But do make the rest of it inaccessible to withdrawals except for college. Lesson learned. For everyone.”
The Future Is Unknown
For many Redditors, there were just too many things to consider here, and it’s hard to make one judgment.
One user felt OP was definitely in the wrong and said, “You’re the a**hole. I get that you’re angry, but you can’t jeopardize your daughter’s future like that because she made a poor choice. You’ve admitted that $5,000 was the money that she put in. She took it back out. Maybe tell her to work to pay off the other $5,000 instead of having her grandmother pay? Also, other people contributed to that fund in the expectation that it would be used to fund her college. Are you going to refund them? Also, it doesn’t look like your wife is on board with your decision, so you’re unilaterally taking revenge on your daughter to teach her some kind of lesson. The lesson is going to be that you’re a vindictive parent, and she should stay away from you.”
Another Redditor felt that there was a third, better option, stating, “I’d be upset but would just lock the account and tell her to go and have fun, but the rest of the money is for college. Five thousand dollars was her own money. You can chalk the other $5,000 up to a graduation gift. Call it even, and move on. This isn’t worth getting into a p****** match over. We aren’t guaranteed time in life; she could get hit by a bus or get cancer. Let her have this one thing that you know she loves.”
Was OP right? Should his daughter be allowed to use the savings to go on a dream vacation before she becomes an adult?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Give His Daughter Her College Fund After She Secretly Squandered $10,000 to Cover Her and Her Girlfriend’s Trip. Now Everyone Thinks He’s a “Jerk” for “Punishing” Her! on Quote Ambition.
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